I spend countless nights awake alone, because I can’t sleep, and nobody is there to share my emptiness while people kéep adding to it. The doubts and questions raised upon me by society, and more so, my family, are heart- wrenching. Nobody watches me being undressed in a manner that i dont want to ease out of my clothes, but my flesh. Nobody sees the hollow in my eyes, and feels the screams I gulp down while everyone complains of me being anti- social. Nobody sees me laughing aloud wishing my tears will go by unnoticed and it was me who scribbled behind the washroom door, ‘ Let me live’, while i was dying. I wish someone’s love would have been enough to conceal me from all the hurt from outside, but everybody asks me to shut up and forget about this crap. Nobody can never save me from the hurt within myself. Nobody can wear my skin with pride. I want to run away from the ignorance of my family, from the mockery of my siblings, from the toxicity of this society, but more so because i hope to run away from myself. They created that invisible prison for me.
It would have taken just a few words to keep me all happy and make me feel comfortable and confident in the sheets of my skin.
‘are you really ok’ instead of ‘why are you so distant
”do you want to talk’ instead of ‘stop overthinking”
how can I help you’ instead of ‘what’s wrong with you”
I can understand you’ instead of ‘ why dont you mix and open up with others’
I wish if people would have said these words more often, perhaps I wouldn’t have thought of running away to somewhere else where the new air frees me and prevent my heart prying apart into peices.
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