Did you ever stop and think about how often we are told to change our appearance? Magazines constantly offer tips about how to lose weight “in days,” appear slimmer “instantly,” and hide our “imperfections”… without actually knowing anything about us, much less our appearance. This is one example of body-shaming, and it is everywhere. Sitcoms so frequently use overweight characters’ bodies as the basis of many of the show’s jokes. It has become the norm to criticize aspects of our bodies as some type of bonding experience with friends – if we all hate our bodies; it somehow makes us feel connected and united. Body-shaming (criticizing yourself or others because of some aspect of physical appearance) can lead to a vicious cycle of judgment and criticism. Messages from the media and from each other often imply that we should want to change, that we should care about looking slimmer, smaller, and tanner. And if we don’t, we worry that we are at risk of being the target of someone else’s body-shaming comments.
Body-shaming manifests in many ways:
1) Criticizing your own appearance, through a judgment or comparison to another person. (i.e.: “I’m so ugly compared to her.” “Look at how broad my shoulders are.”)
2) Criticizing another’s appearance in front of them, (i.e.: “With those thighs, you’re never going to find a date.”)
3) Criticizing another’s appearance without their knowledge. (i.e.: “Did you see what she’s wearing today? Not flattering.” “At least you don’t look like her!”).
No matter how this manifests, it often leads to comparison and shame, and perpetuates the idea that people should be judged mainly for their physical features.
This leads to the question: if it has such harsh consequences, why is body-shaming so common? An example we often discuss at the Braintree Adolescent Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) is dealing with conflicts with peers. Why, when we are upset, annoyed, or intimidated by someone, do we default to criticizing their appearance? “Whatever, she’s ugly,” can be a go-to defense in these situations, particularly during adolescence and the young-adult years. In some ways, it feels easier to shoot for something that will hurt, like targeting physical appearance, rather than expressing what is really going on emotionally. Saying, “I’m really hurt by how my friend treated me,” or “I’m terrified of losing this friendship” opens us up and makes us more vulnerable, and therefore feels easier to bury underneath the body-shaming comments that rush to mind.
How do we challenge this? In situations like those listed above, expressing true feelings rather than physical criticisms can be a great first step. While recently discussing this with the Adolescent IOP, several patients admitted that it is hard to identify ways of expressing frustration without using body-shaming, as this has become an almost automatic response.
Practice identifying why you are upset about a situation. For example, it’s unlikely that you’re mad at a friend because she’s breaking out, and more likely that you’re upset about a miscommunication or feeling of rejection. Practice thinking it, and eventually, verbalizing it.
Identify who in your life is body-positive – or even body-neutral. Think of people who celebrate their body for what it can do, and people who refuse to comment on others’ physical appearances. Spending time with these people can be especially helpful while you are struggling with your own internalized body-shaming, and help you view yourself – and others – more positively.
Confront those who perpetuate body-shaming. Once you’ve become more aware of your own body-shaming behaviors, you may notice how often your friends, family or co-workers do it. Talk to them. Discuss why it bothers you and help them see how it may also be hurtful to them.
Find something (or things!) you LIKE about your body. We spend so much time witnessing advertisements about how to make our eyelashes millimeters longer and how to get whiter teeth that it’d be nice to counter some of that by celebrating what we do have. Maybe, despite your body image struggles, you love a new hairstyle you discovered. Maybe you’ve noticed how much stronger you feel with balanced eating. Find something physical or nonphysical that makes you YOU and celebrate it every day.
Body Shaming’ — these two words itself says a lot about their intent. It has, in fact, become a serious issue in our society today. Aishwarya Sharma, a fashion activist and founder at Figuramoda, gave HerZindagi, her insight on what is body shaming, what happens when you experience it and how does one deal with it.
Technically, Body shaming is defined as being ‘inappropriate, negative statements and attitudes toward another person’s weight or size’. But, it is so much more than just that. It is one of the most serious forms of bullying, harassment and humiliation and usually experienced by more women than men today.
Fat shaming involves criticizing and harassing overweight people about their weight or eating habits to make them feel ashamed of themselves.
The belief is that this may motivate people to eat less, exercise more, and lose weight.
In the majority of cases, the people who fat-shame others are slim and never had to struggle with a weight problem.
Research shows that much of the discussion on obesity on social media involves fat shaming, which often turns into harassment and cyberbullying — especially against women
In fact, there are entire online communities where people gather to make fun of overweight people.
However, stigma and discrimination against overweight people cause major psychological harm and worsen the problem.
Discrimination causes stress and negatively affects people.
In the case of overweight individuals, this stress can drive them to eat more and gain more weight .
In a study in 93 women, exposure to weight-stigmatizing information made those who were overweight — but not normal-weight — eat more calories and feel less in control of their eating (4).
In another study in 73 overweight women, those who watched a stigmatizing video ate 3 times as many calories afterward compared to those who watched a non-stigmatizing video
Numerous other studies support that any type of fat shaming causes overweight people to become stressed, eat more calories, and gain more weight .
I was always body shamed and here is my voice over this.
At Age of two my appetite was made,
Ate 1 kg of tandoori chicken I was said.
Food being my only escape,
Became my enemy in a cape.
I Was told I would look beautiful,
When I grow thin and tall.
Mirrors are an unhealthy reminder,
If I glimpse I have to glare,
Insecurity fiddles with my fingers.
To check the imperfections,
To pinch fat between my fingertips,
To ridicule and compare every curve and discoloration.
But ,I am happy the way I am.
I have curves, here and there,
Cellulite and stretch marks appear too
I love them, why do they care.
Small, medium, large or bigger,
It is just a label after all.
Why desperately try to fit in,
Instead choose comfort and stand tall.
People will continue to laugh,
Like their body, their minds are thin.
I Pay no heed to them now ,
Carrying some extra weight is not a sin.
What matters is how healthy you are,
Take care of yourself the way you want to,
Do not worry, as long as you’re fit.
Ignore the vanity and march ahead,
Paint your life with your own color chart.
Size sometimes does matter,
Only when it comes to the heart.
Weight discrimination — including fat shaming — leads to stress and causes overweight and obese people to eat more.
This form of bullying may not only cause additional weight gain but is also linked to depression, eating disorders, reduced self-esteem, and an increased risk of various other mental and physical problems.
Eduindex News 