THE PAIN OF ONE SIDED LOVE

I’m not saying that I think of you constantly, but I can’t deny the fact that each time my mind wanders, it always finds some way back to you.

One sided love indeed is painful. However, this shouldn’t stop us from loving someone every single day. We need to understand that sometimes, love is unconditional. It doesn’t expect anything in return. Love is something we should be able to give freely. It’s not going to be easy, no one said it is, but it is what makes love true and pure. Don’t let one-sided love affect your self-esteem and make you unhappy with yourself. Instead, make that person an inspiration to always be better and happier in life. One thing about love is, if you don’t love yourself first, you will never know how to love other people right.

One-sided love is not love. It’s torture.
It’s waiting for something that might never happen. It’s looking at someone who doesn’t see you. It’s thinking about someone day and night while you probably never cross their mind. It’s looking at your phone hoping they’d text you or call you as they call someone else. It’s reaching out to them with so much fervor as they respond with indifference.

One-sided love is not love. It’s a battlefield.
You’re battling your emotions. You’re battling your feelings. You’re battling reality. You’re battling everything people are telling you and believing your fantasies. You’re battling your own intuition. Your gut. Your logic. Your heart. It’s a battle you can’t win. A war you can’t stop. It’s losing over and over again. It’s surrendering to something that will eventually destroy you.

One-sided love is not love. It’s heartbreak.
It’s one person giving and the other one is taking. It’s one person loving and the other is not even moved. It’s one person always hoping for something more while the other is avoiding the subject altogether. It’s one person willing to do anything to make it work and the other is not even thinking about it. It’s one person always crying and the other one is always laughing.

One-sided love is not love. It’s self-destruction.
It’s questioning your self-worth every night. It’s constantly wondering why you’re not enough, why you never get picked, why you’re never the chosen one. It’s amplifying every minor flaw. It’s looking at yourself and not liking anything about you. It’s lying in bed overthinking everything you’ve said and done because it must have been something you said, it must have been you. It’s feeling like you’ll never be loved because no one was able to love you back. No one you wanted truly wanted you.

One-sided love is not love. It’s a crush. It’s infatuation. It’s obsession.
It’s liking the idea of someone. But real love is never one-sided. Real love is reciprocated. Real love is patient. Real love is understanding. Real love is two people embarking on a wonderful journey together with all its ups and downs. It’s two people willingly choosing each other. It’s two people trying to accept each other and love the worst parts of one another. It’s two people promising to be there for each other in sickness and in health.

It’s loyalty. It’s reassurance. It’s commitment. It’s intimacy. It’s depth. It’s strength. It’s a reason to live longer. It’s a reason to have faith in life. Real love heals. One-sided love breaks. Real love is the only love you need to look for. One-sided love is anything but love. It’s a poetic term for heartbreak. A poetic term for suffering.

The pain of one sided love

Words that I couldn’t speak,
Things that I always keep.
Secrets were hiding in this ocean deep,
Only you is what I wanted to seek .
Little did you know that I was dying at the very end.
You killed me with that everyprecious look.
My heart melted and my knees shook.
It started with a hello,
And my heart didn’t let it go,
The angelic face I saw in you,
Couldn’t get out of my head in a single blow.
I could hear a sound deep within me,
Calling your name in a very special way,
In my dreams there is you and me,
Day after day it’s you only that I see.
If those sweet dreams will turn into a reality.
I want you to know that my love will last till’ eternity
I always wanted more than that,
But I guess it wasn’t meant to be.
But you’ll never truly know how much you meant to me.
You were always there
And wiped away every tear.
I just wish you would’ve waited, stayed here.
I still dream about you,
It’s hard to breathe without you,
Like a suffocating dove.
I wish you loved me the way I loved you,
I wait for a sunrise that brings you in.
But at this moment your memories are mine,
Maybe tomorrow, things may or may not remain the same,
Maybe something would happen that you don’t remain yourself,
maybe something would happen that I don’t remain myself.
But for know I sleep with this blanket of your memories.
My phone rings to its maximum intensity,
My heart skips a beat.
All of a sudden My world came to a screeching halt,
I rushed down in my daily pyjamas.
I could feel the land sliding down .
I closed my eyes.
My tears rolled straight to the floor,
All I wanted was to feel something more.
I was torn inside.
When I came to know that you were about to die.
I wished I was dreaming,
But all I could hear was the faint sound of your screaming.
Knowing I would never see you again.
I just kept feeling this terrible pain,
I stood beside you,
In utter dismay.
And then You called me closer,
And whispered I love you.
My happiness and grief couldn’t balance each other.
And Now I stand alone on this sandy beach,
where we made castles are now sinked,
Now
With my tears flowing into the sea
because I know you’re out of reach
and no longer here with me
You look so beautiful laying there
In that eternal sleep forever
The pain I hide here is too much to bare
All I wanted was us to be together.

When Cupid flies in the wrong direction, shoots the arrow without looking and hits the wrong person, an unrequited love begins. One-sided or unrequited love is more
common when you are young, because that’s the time when you form a utopian image of your ideal partner. But sometimes, mature adults fall in one-sided love, too, which they find intensely painful. “Teenagers are most vulnerable to unrequited love and heartbreak, but I also find that they are a resilient lot and move on faster. Some people who face unrequited love suffer acute depression. The hurt runs deeper. Sometimes, it involves a long-term relationship, where one partner develops feelings for someone else, only to get a rude shock that the person doesn’t love him or her back. Such people are vulnerable to suicidal thoughts and depression

Accept the reality and move on
If someone you like doesn’t show signs that they are interested in you, it’s better to come to terms with it. When you feel strongly for a person, who doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings, you feel rejected. This hurts, because you may start to believe that something is wrong with you. Romantic rejection not only leaves behind emotional scars, but also physical pain. Research suggests that those who suffer heartbreak or a relationship breakdown are at an elevated risk of heart attack and physical pain.
“For those who face a no, we work in therapy on handling rejection with grace. Unhelpful behaviours are grovelling, threatening, coercing and emotionally blackmailing. I help the person see that rejection can happen anywhere in life (not just a relationship). While it’s a tough pill to swallow, it doesn’t have to be taken personally

Distance yourself from them
If you have suffered because of one-sided love, you would know how difficult it is to communicate with the one you love after being turned down by him or her. “He was my friend for almost a decade. When I shared my feelings with him and didn’t get any reciprocation, I decided to distance myself from him. Yes, the fact that I didn’t have my closest friend anymore did hurt, but I had to take the tough call. What pricked me more was that he got married to my best friend, who knew about my feelings for him since day one. Experts say that not speaking to your love interest frequently, not checking their social media handles every second minute, not asking your common friends about them and not visiting the places you visited with them may help. If the person is out of sight, he or she will get out of your mind, sooner or later. Whether it’s distancing yourself completely or seeing them less often, you should do what makes you feel better. Focus on other things
While dealing with unrequited love, it’s easy to get stuck at home, pondering on what happened to you and wishing to change it, but this is not going to help
you. Indulging in your favourite hobbies — sports, dance or painting, watching your favourite TV series or spending time with friends — might help you escape boredom,” When you are happy, your body produces endorphins, hormones that help reduce pain. Though you might not be up for it, but meeting new people or hanging out with friends can be helpful. “Digital world helps you control the devastation in your life. Social media helped me connect with new people, because of which I managed to move on. When I started travelling and hanging out with new people, the old memories started to fade away,” says Randhir Roy, business head of an event firm in the city, who experienced unrequited love during his engineering days. If you are feeling negative and angry, it’s hard to think about anything else but your situation. It’s important to focus on new things and start setting future goals. If you have things to work towards (personal or professional goals), focusing on achieving them can be a great distraction. It’s important to open up.

Reaching out to people who care about you and telling them what happened, might help you start afresh and move on. If you speak to your family or friends, they can treat you a lot better than you may treat yourself. Apart from reminding you of your positives, they are likely to suggest the best ways of dealing with the situation. Experts say that family and close friends encourage you to do whatever makes you feel happy. Even if that means meeting more people and bonding with a new relationship prospect, you must give it a try. “It’s important to see options.