sometimes you just feel alone.

when was the last time you felt terribly alone? last week? yesterday?

we all have been there. the last time when you wanted to talk to someone and you reached till the end of your contact list and didn’t find a name?

you have so many unread messages in your inbox. you have so many conversations, every day. but you just don’t ‘vibe’ with anyone. you don’t find that connection. you just can’t let your guard down and share everything with someone.

and when you do, you end up blabbering. you end up oversharing. you end up saying things you shouldn’t have.

how long has it been since you had a ‘deep’ conversation with your friend over beer that lasted until 2 am? that’s the thing with loneliness. it hits differently when you have some happy news but you don’t have someone who would listen to you.

and maybe gotye was right when he sang, ‘you can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.’ after a point, you just accept it. you accept that this is your life where you have ten friends who you can chill ‘with’. and no one who would want to listen to your sob stories on the days when you feel low.

then there are days when you don’t even need anyone. you sit down with a cup of chai and you play some nice music. in those moments, it feels a little less lonely. but then the song ends, or you finish your cup of chai. and then loneliness comes knocking on your door like an uninvited guest. it sits down on your couch and refuses to leave your room until the next morning.

to be honest, the feeling of being ‘lonely’ sucks. on some nights, it sucks more. so you just pull your pillow close. hug it tight. and wait for all of it to pass.