Day: January 17, 2022

Being Kind

9 Ways To Be Kind To Yourself - What It Really Means

My articles have often been about behavior and actions that have a negative impact on people and how there needs to be change and improvement with it. During these times, I have also put out how important it is for oneself to look after themselves. Sometimes, it tends to be lost or overlooked with the main topic. Therefore, today my article is entirely going to be about how it is important to be kind to ourselves.

Importance of Being Kind to Oneself

Every day as a child through our growing years, we learn how important it is to inculcate good manners into our lives. We learn how we should help others, are kind to others, not be rude to others, and so many more things. We learn how our actions can have a consequence on others. We become more aware of the right treatment towards other people. We understand the importance of being good to others. However, what we fail to learn is how our actions and behavior have a consequence to ourselves as well. Therefore, the right kind of reinforcement to ourselves is also very important. We must consider ourselves as our friends so that we learn to be kind and positive to ourselves. We have often heard it is important to look after ourselves first and then other people. It is in the same manner that we first are nice and kind to ourselves and then to others.

Let me ask all the readers out there, would you call your friend rude or harsh for no reason and constantly keep complaining and taunting them? Of course, you would not do something like that. Then why do it to ourselves? How fair and equal are we being to our bodies and mind? These are some of the questions that we need to ask ourselves when we are so harsh and bad to our minds and body. Nobody needs to go through the pain and suffering even if we inflict it on ourselves. We should be proud of our bodies and mind no matter who says otherwise or what happens. Being kind to ourselves is the first step forward and betterment of society, community, and the world.

Let me ask all the readers out there another question. How often have you called yourself useless or worthless just because you did not do what you had thought in mind or had a minor inconvenience? Each individual will have a different number of instances but will surely have one. This shows how we are not kind to our bodies and mind. The body and the mind constantly work and produce several information and thought and yet face backlash when something small goes wrong. We often forget to credit ourselves for the amount of work and energy we put in every single day. It is high time we start being grateful for the things we have. Here I do not mean things like money, power, clothes, etc. What I am referring to is our mind, body, health, our ability to think, our ability to understand things, etc.

The most unfortunate thing is that today everything has become a competition among human beings. In this process, we have completely forgotten to look after ourselves and be there for ourselves. We expect our bodies to act like machines and work extra almost every time. To reach the impossible expectations we make our body and mind suffer so much that in the end, it all becomes itself. The standard idea of being thin is beautiful makes us to go such extremes with our body and mind. We do not provide the energy and nutrition for it to function healthy and at the same time expect it to work the extra amount without and source to function. Even though we want to eat, we stop ourselves from eating just so that we look thin. This is just one of the most common instances that are here about how we are not kind to our bodies and mind. Many more things need to change so that we can live in peace with ourselves and who we are as individuals.

4 Benefits Of Being Kind To Yourself | Power of Positivity

How to be kind to ourselves?

There are so many ways one can be kind to themselves and make peace in the right way with who they are as individuals. These are some ways that I can think of. If there are more than you can think of after reading this article make sure to inculcate and speak about it as much as you can.

  1. Rewarding and thanking ourselves: One of the most common yet the most important ways you can be kind to yourself is by rewarding and thanking your body and mind. Let me give you an example. Suppose you have been studying hard for your exams the entire night before and you finish your exam and come back. You need reward and thank your body for working so hard by eating and sleeping the right amount. You should give your body and mind to relax and freshen up before you sit with your exams. This is one of the instances there are many more that we experience in our daily lives.
  • Do not punish yourself: There is a belief among people that only if they punish themselves will they be more productive. This is completely not true rather just a thing to justify negative things that are present in society. Let me use a similar example. Suppose you have worked hard for your exams but you did not do your exam well. If you do not give your body, mind enough amounts of sleep and nutrition, sit, and study for the next exam without relaxing your body and mind then it means you are punishing your body and mind even though you have done your best. This is not right and should change as an individual and as a community.
  • Do not compare yourself: This has become a common problem behavior among people, which needs to change. It is way beyond time that we realize that we human beings are very different not just physically but also mentally and emotionally. We human beings have different capacity levels, which makes us so unique from one another. If everyone is the same then what is the difference between the robots and us? Though this sounds like a very cliché question, it is something we must think and ponder about.
  • Never change yourself because of the negative things people say: One of the most crucial things in being kind to yourself is about never making any changes in yourself that are good just because people say otherwise. Let me give an example. If you are, a sensitive person and people keep telling you that you need to stop being sensitive and need to change yourself for any reason and you do it, then that is not being kind to yourself. You need to believe in yourself and stand for who you are and there is nothing wrong with that.

I can go on and on about how important it is to be kind to yourself and the different ways that you can be too. However, I also think it is important for people to think about this, realize on their own, and do it because they want to and not because they read about it in an article. This needs to come from the within and towards yourself on your own.

To conclude, with a beautiful quote by Anita Moorjani where says, “Transform your world by transforming your internal state. Start by learning to let go of negative self-judgment, and replace it with positive and loving thoughts about yourself. Be kind to yourself, and watch the external world change.”

References

  1. Google searches for images and quotes.

A Vow Doesn’t Change It

Marital Rape Isn't Necessarily a Crime in 12 States

Today important news caught my attention. It was on my mind so much that I made up my mind to write an article about it. My article today is going to be about something that legally needs approval by the court as an act of crime. Yes, we are in the 21st century, and yet here we are still trying to legalize acts that violate human fundamental rights and equality that are by the constitution themselves. By reading the title of my article and a few lines at the beginning of the article, I am guessing that the readers have some idea about what my article is going to be about. It is about how even in 2022 there are still many countries that legalize marital rape.

Everything about Marital Rape

Let me put out an important fact for our readers so that they know why this topic is important and in urgent need of change. When a husband rapes a woman then it is marital rape. Yes, this is very traumatizing for every reader out there regardless of which race, ethnicity, religion, or community one belongs. There are still 36 countries out there that legalize marital rape. This means that when a husband rapes his wife then it is not considered a legal crime in these countries. This is the harsh reality of our society that needs to change. The sad part for any woman who lives in one of these 36 countries is that they are still in deprivation of their fundamental rights and equality.

I am not going to name any specific country that is a part of these 36 countries because the change in one country will not provide equality to every woman and girl living on this planet. I a woman myself feel so much anger and dismay that even today women are still fighting for their basic rights as human beings. It is also an appeal that women from countries that consider marital rape as a crime stand up for their community of women living in the countries so that every woman feels safe and has complete authority over her rights as a human being and as a woman. The reason I am stressing so much about the urgency for the need for change is that we women are constantly fighting every single day to do what we, as women are capable of doing and yet there are so many larger things that also need our attention, awareness, fight, and pushing by a large number of people which will not happen in a few days. 

We as women of this planet need to fight and bring about change so that women and girls in the future will have less to fight for and have better and productive lives. Let me make this as clear as possible that marital rape does not have consent from women and that is why we know it as rape and not anything else. There is no difference between rape and marital rape apart from the fact that it is happening in a marriage. In any religion, when people marry they take a vow in their marriage they promise to be there for each other and standby each other with respect, value, trust, and protecting each other until the very end. There is nothing extraordinary rather things that need to be there in any relationship. When relationships do not have one, then it is wrong and nothing will say otherwise.

17 BEST "Marital Rape" IMAGES, STOCK PHOTOS & VECTORS | Adobe Stock

Ideas behind marital rape

It is surprising how patriarchy seems to flow in everything in society. It is responsible for creating problems for women that they have to constantly fight to get rid of these and that too for generations together constantly without a stop to see some slight change and betterment. Patriarchy exists with the idea that men are superior to women. This idea plays a major role in marital rape.

Men who grow up with this idea consider women to be objects or things that they own through the institution of marriage. This idea engraves into them so much that they think that their wife’s whole purpose is to please and look after their needs and have no place in society. They think that marriage gives them the consent to abuse their wives in any manner that they wish to. This is a reminder that these 36 countries approve of this behavior and even consider it legal. This is not just shocking but also a real and frightening image of the state of women in society around the world. Women have become objects that men believe have full authority because of the patriarchal and horrendous ideas that exist in society.

If you are wondering that marital rape happens only in small villages and towns where there is a lack of knowledge and awareness then you are wrong. This happens anywhere regardless of whether these places are towns or even the urban city. This shows how things are not just limited to a certain group of people but the entire community. If it exists in the society then every single member is responsible for its existence and well as its eradication. What people fail to understand is that by normalizing, legalizing marital rape women are stripped of their dignity, value, respect, and everything as human beings first and then as a woman.

As usual, there have been people who are justifying the crime of marital rape with sentences such as “Considering marital rape as crime disrupts the institution of marriage.” I cannot begin to explain the amount of misogyny that is present in this sentence. If any institution in this world considers rape a part of it then it is time that people rethink and redefine this institution. The other sentence that comes in against criminalizing marital rape is “What if women are lying?” “What if they are lying to gain something?” The fact that every time women stand up for their rights and equality they are often under the scanner of the misdeeds that will supposedly happen by them. Why is it that women are always under scrutiny and questioning when they expect things that any normal being would? The other important thing is that every crime has loopholes but that should not stop us from doing things that are for the betterment of the greater common good. According to this theory then none of the crimes should have been criminalized by the court, which makes no sense at all.

To conclude, it is high time women stop fighting for their equality and rights rather they are present in the society by the people without constant, struggle that women have to suffer for generations. It is way beyond time that all the countries in the world criminalize marital rape so that every woman lives with the fundamental rights and equality that they deserve like anybody else. Any rape is a crime and a vow taken by people will not change it otherwise.

References

  1. Google search for images

Structure of the novel JOSEPH ANDREWS By Henry Fielding

Joseph Andrews by Henry Fielding is considered as the first novel of English Literature. It is
described as a “comic – epic poem in prose” by the author himself in the preface to the novel. It was written in 1742 and portrays the realistic eighteenth century English society. While talking about the structure , form and style the author’s words say that “this form is not seen until and not intended before in the language”.

The narration of the novel follows a linear pattern eventhough certain digression or temporary departure is visible in certain chapters. The plot or the organization of events can be categorized into different parts such as Exposition ( initial stage), rising action, conflict / complication, climax, falling action and resolution or denoument. In this novel the protagonist Joseph Andrews was working as a footman for Mr Thomas Booby. This stage can be considered as the exposition of the novel. He was a good footman. Lady Booby had sexual desires in him and he was the talk of the London town. After Booby’s death, Lady Booby tried to show his passions towards him and he refuses. As a result Lady Booby fires him from the job.

Next in the rising action of the novel. He leaves , then hits the road in search for his love Fanny Goodwill. She is at Lady Booby’s country side far away from London. He passes through a maze of storms, ruffians and angry innkeepers. Ruffians attacks and strips his clothesleaving him naked in a ditch. All these events constitutes the rising action of the novel.

By a stroke of luck, Parson Adams turns into Joseph after his fatal injury. Once he heals up they plan to travel Booby country together. They face many problems and they solve. The parson forgets his horse, forgets to pay for his horse and fights with the innkeeper. Thus the conflict arises. They solve the problem and travel . In a way, he saves a woman who was being attacked by a stranger. That girl was Fanny Goodwill. But a group of strangers mistakes the two of them as criminals and submit them before the Justice of Peace. Here the plot reaches the peak of conflicts or climax. But another man identifies Parson Adams and saves them. After this some events occurs which were against Joseph and Fanny. The turning point occurs on the time when it is said that Joseph and Fanny to be siblings.

Lady Booby with the help of the lawyer Scout plans to throw Joseph and Fanny to Bridewell, a notorious prison to seperate them. These actions creates a falling action of the novel. Towards the end of the novel Pamela and her new husband Mr Booby arrives and prevents them from throwing into the Bridewell. The mysterious peddler who Joseph and Parson Adams met in the journey arrives and says that Fanny is actually Joseph’s parent’s daughter and Joseph is the son of Mr Wilson, who also met them in the journey. Thus the confusion settles and Joseph and Fanny finally gets hitched. Thus through this the novel reaches a resolution or denouement.

The work is divided into four books and the books into subsequent chapters. There are sixty four chapters altogether. The narration is linear eventhough there are certain digressions. These deviation from the main plot will not cause any harm to the novel. They were used by henry Fielding to give some examples about human passion and characteristics of the protagonist. The stucture is well organized and explanatory. While analyzing the structure it can be considered as a scientific research work. As a satire, which focuses on the the reality, mockery and the reformations of the society, Joseph Andrews follows this pattern of a research work. As a scientific work researches the reality, the writer experimented with the eighteenth century English society and the results are incorporated as this work. Subsequent tentative titles gives an impression about what is going to find in the following chapters like the title What Happened after Their Journey to London. Like the research is not for the researcher but for the betterment of the society Joseph Andrews also intends reformation of the society. The structure can also be considered as that of classical works which is about the general truths of human nature.

Henry Fielding said the structure a s ” comic – epic poem in prose” in the preface. Thus it possess certain epic like qualities. The division into books and further chapter division resembles epic like structure. Like the fable of epic the fable here is not supernatural but realistic. The action is mild but the fight between ruffians and Joseph and fight of Parson Adams to save Fanny are the actions like those found in epics. In terms of diction and language, allusions and referernces from various languages and use of archaic languages is apparent,like submissiveness of Mrs Trubiller is compared to the example of Sarah, wife of Abraham, Greek language references and references to Homer. In terms of themes also Joseph Andrews resembles epic like reformation of society from the ills of vanity, hypocricy and affectation and presentation of characters from the different classes of society.

The style is simple, explanatory and vivid and there is no artificial use of elevatory language or high vocabulary. Since the work is a satire on Samuel Richardson’s Pamela in which the emphasis of female chastity, in Joseph Andrews the emphasis of male chastity is presented in a humourous way. The vices are presented this humour and not in a didatic language rather it is suggestive. Through the letters to Pamela the novel possess epistolary style also. Joseph’s character is presented as a rougue of low social class as a footman and encounters in a bad world. So in this perspective the novel can also be considered as a picaresque novel. Eventhough Joseph Andrews was written when English novel was in it’s infancy, the well organized and explanatory srtucture and humourous elements makes the novel special.

EVOLUTION OF GENDER

Gender,the social constuction related to one’s behaviour and attributes is one of the major factors in our society.Gender identity is different from sex.While sex is the biological aspect of an individual,gender identity is personal,internal perception of oneself,which may not the sex,which was assigned at birth.In gender perspective an individual an individual can see himself/herself as a man, women or having no gender. One’s gender role may influence wide range of factors like behaviour, clothing and personal relationships.

While talking about the evolution of gender, It is important to look in to the past.Historically the gender was attributed to an individual by birth,with reference to biological differences. The word ‘Gender’ was also used synonymous with ‘sex’ in the last centuries. By the last decades of the 20 th century th use of ‘gender’ is increased.This can be attributed to the feministic movement of the second half of 20 th century. According to those theories,the social distictions based on sex was arbitary.As said earlier,One’s biological sex was directly tied to their gender roles.Judith Bulter considered that being a woman it has more challeges,owing to society’s social category and sense of self, a culturally conditioned or constructed identity. This categorization of people into social role creates a great problem.ecause they have to be at one end of a liner spectrum and must identify themselves as man or woman and act respectively. So, these dueties mostly are in favour of men and it creates an imbalance in power and gender inequalities.These roles vary from to culture.But there is no universal standard to these roles across all cultures.Earlier being a female, characterizes one as weak,emotional,submissive and incapable of doing certain tasks attributed only to ” mam”. The gender role attributed to an individual from birth and it is included in simpler the colour of the baby’s outfit. However a person’s gender does not always allign with what has been assigned by birth.Females were always subjugated as part of these gender roles and they faced a lot of inequality.

Feminism was the major movement contributed to the equality of all genders.It included issues
on reproductive rights, political rights, equal pay for equal work, suffrage right and sexual
harassment.First wave has on the suffrage and political equality.The second wave attempted to abolish more social and cultural inequalities. The first wave was oriented mainly on white upper class woman.But the second wave of feminism included more women from all social class. Third wave of feminism was against financial inequalities and fourth wave was against system of power.So, feminism contributed immensely to the empowerment of women in all fields and ensured equality in many sectors of society including political and financial.

LGBTQIA is a umberlla term related to gender.Transgender are opposite to cis-gender, whose gender identity is different from the sex assigned at birth. They reassigned their sex by changing physiological or other attributes of sex.Transgender people were considered as ‘ third-gender’. Transgenders were also faced a lot of discrimination from the society as well as their homes. They were not accepted as equal to cis-genders.From the second half of 20 th century many transgenders movements and activists worked for ensuring equality for the community and fighted for their rights, to eliminate discrimination and violence against transgenders.This, similar to faminism included demanded for equality in all sectors of society. Many people from transgender communities are holding high position in our society as a result of this movement and the government also ensures their equality through laws. Many people are coming forward nowadays declaring their gender,confidently and undergoing organ transition surgeries.

Gay and lesbian are other two terms related to sexual orientation.Gay is the term used to represent men who attracted to men in romantic/sexual behaviour.Lesbian refers to a woman who has sexual orientation towards woman similarly.Bisexual is a person who experiences sexual attraction to more than one gender,not necessarily at the same time and same degree.So, LGBTQ community was considered as backword and they were not equally accepted in the society.As a result in this patriarchal society, they were forced to suppress their sexuality. But as a result of 2000s movement for same marrige, gay liberation movement of the 1960s and 1970s they ensured equality. In India on 2018 court decriminalized section 377 as it was unconstitutional.Eventhough legal protection is ensured for LGBTQIA communities they even face inequality in our society.

These are the various steps in the evolution of gender.Eventhough legally all genders are considered as equal, many still faces a lot of insecurities and inequalities.These inequalities starts from homes,to work places, educational institutions to all public sectors. But as part of the evolution of genders ,the condition of woman and LGBTQIA are improving.

Online Education and Work from home: Have we arrived in virtual world?

In the recent years, the life of human beings have been greatly stirred by the Covid-19 pandemic and still continues to do so, no area is left unaffected. As the disease spreads from contact between individuals, it is essential to maintain distance and thus the people are compelled to be confined inside their homes. The students and the working class have seemingly been afflicted more. The modern era is changing fast with times. Today is the digitalization age, where everything is computerized and programmed. The education sector is also at par with the digitalization. Throughout the world, online learning is of great significance today. It has become convenient for the students to attend classes from the comfort of their houses. The working class is also relieved from travelling everyday to the place of their work. Due to the pandemic, the state of being alone and separate is being experienced by the population worldwide. In order to eliminate this loneliness, it somewhat becomes necessary to interact with the surrounding. Technology has played a vital role in it by creating an environment of interaction and relationship via online mode of learning and building healthy relationship at work by the initiative of work from home. ” Man is a social being”, rightly said by a well known philosopher Aristotle.

This pandemic has led to closure of schools, colleges and various educational institutions for about more than an year now. Around 1.2 billion children are barred from classrooms today. Consequently, a new era of e-learning has come into existence imparting knowledge at various cyber platforms. ‘Bharat Padhe Online Campaign’ was launched by the Indian government to lessen the educational loss due to the pandemic crises. There is great demand of education in online mode and subsequently cost free learning services are being provided by a number of digital learning platforms such as Unacademy, GradeUp, BYJU’S etc. Online education has proved to be time saving and a better mechanism for imparting knowledge at large scale. Quality education is easily available to all. The online dependence has also reduced the necessity of copies and books ,thus being beneficial to the environment. Taking into account the current situation of the world, the online education has proved to be a boon. The road ahead is seemingly bright and many more revolutions are believed to come in the sector of education but it is required to be adopted with care.

In order to make one’s life easier, various innovations and services came into existence. The most adaptive initiative that came into being is work from home, allowing the employees to work to operate online at the ease of their homes. Working in a household environment provides much more flexibility and satisfaction in work. It has also helped to create a better balance between work and life, by encouraging oneself to plan not only a suitable work schedule but also a schedule for spare time as well as a holiday.

“If working remotely is such a great idea, why isn’t everyone doing it? I think it’s because we’ve been bred on the idea that work happens from 9 to 5, in offices and cubicles. It’s no wonder that most who are employed inside that model haven’t considered other options or resist the idea that it could be any different. But it can.”

– Jason Fried

One can organize the task along with the time, taking into account their requirements and wishes personally. Subsequently, no resources are required in addition to form a place for work. Work from home is proved to be cost-effective for both the employees as well as the company, there is no need for any individual to travel from one place to another. Thus, it saves both time and money. However, it solely depends on the individual to carry out their task the way they want, making the work more productive.

In this contemporary age, technology has spread its wings far wide. The online mode of office work and education was only functioning during the pandemic period when all the educational institutions and offices were closed. By the advancing of digital era, the employees were allowed to work virtually from home and maintain their routine of work without going to their workplace. A sight of the working of the virtual world is seen in this pandemic. Such virtualization has greatly helped us to operate from the comforts of our homes and also helped in saving time and money. Online education is in great demand and trend today and in near future it would replace the traditional classroom teaching mechanism. The virtual world came into light a long time back but today its existence is widely recognized all over the world.

Thus, these are clear indications that post-pandemic revolutionary changes would be observed in the sector of education and working class and in the future ahead remote learning would be irresistible and more virtualization would perceive.

TRADITION AND THE INDIVIDUAL TALENT :T S Eliot

WHAT DOES ELIOT MEAN BY “TRADITION” ?
HOW CAN WE TELL WHAT IS TRADITIONAL ?
WHAT RELATION SHOULD THE WRITER HAVE TO THE WRITINGS OF THE PAST?

T S Eliot in his 1919 essay Tradition and the Individual Talent elucidates his concept on tradition and it’s importance on individuality of poet. He begins the essay by pointing out that “tradition” is generally regarded as a word of censure. Eliot says that English people praise poet’s for wrong reasons. But he says, the most individual part of a poet’s mind shows the influence of past writers. According to Eliot “… if we approach a poet without this prejudice, we shall often find that not only the best, but the most individual part of his work may be those in which the dead poets, his ancestors, assert their
immortality most vigorously”.

To elucidate upon literary tradition Eliot brings the significance of past writers. He says that tradition does not mean blind adherence to the ways of previous generations. He also says that tradition in the sense of passive repetition is to be discouraged. He says “novelty is better than repetition”. By “tradition” eliot means the recognition of the continuity of past literature. The sense of tradition instills the fact in the mind of poets that, writers of the past continue to be significant in the present. According to T S Eliot, tradition involves a historical sense. This historical sense involves the perception of not only the pastness of the past, but also it’s presence. In other words, Eliot means that the historical sense in tradition, enables the poet to realise that past is not something isolated from the present. So, the poet perceives the essence of the past through this sense. A man of historical sense have the knowledge and understanding of the whole literature of Europe from Homer to his present day and it’s significance. The writer realises that past exist in the present and both are simultaneous. This ” historical sense which is a sense of the timeless as well as of the temporal and of the timeless and of the temporal together, is what makes a writer traditional”. By this Eliot means that the writer is conscious of his own generation, it’s significance and he is also conscious about his relationship with past writers.

Next argument from Eliot is the relation of a poet with tradition and how can a poet acquire the sense of tradition. In his words “tradition cannot be inherited, and if you want if you must obtain it by great labour”. This is knowing the past writers, not blind adherence and knowing what is good and useful. The sense of tradition not only implies recognition of continuity of literature, but the critical judgement of pastness and it’s significance. As Eliot said this knowledge and judgement demands great effort. This judgement is for principle of aesthetic and not for merely historical criticism. The present writers should compare and contrast the writings of the past. This is the relation of present writers to past writings. Such comparison and contrast is essential for forming a significant idea for a new writer. According to Eliot tradition is dynamic, which is not fixed and static. It keeps changing. A writer seeks guidance from the past and a new work modifies the past. In his own words he says ” past should be altered by the present and present is directed by the past”. So when a new literary work is created, the whole literary tradition is modified. So, the relation of past and present is reciprocal. To quote Eliot ” the existing monuments form an ideal order among themselves, which is modified by the introduction of the new (the really new) work of art among them.” The past writings will not become insignificant. Every great writer like Virgil, Dante and Shakespeare never gets insignificant and they contribute to literary tradition. In this relation of the present writers to the past, the comparison and contrast is not to determine which is good or bad. It is to know facts, for the purpose of analysis and for the better understanding of the new work. The past writers should be examined critically.

Another important factor about the relation of present writers to the past is that, a poet should not be content with the poet of any particular age or major writers. The poet must know the main trends and he must also know main litrary trends and he must also know main literary trends are not determined by great poets, ordinary poet’s are also significant. So this surrender to tradition is more valuable than individuality. By a sense of tradition, poet allows his poetic sensibility to be moulded and modified by the past and it is fundamental for poetic creation.