Tag: INCREASING DIVORCE RATE

Why the rise in divorce ?

Between 1970 and 2008, Cheng-Tong Lir Wang and Evan Schofer, two sociologists from the University of California discovered that the global divorce rate rose from 2.6 divorces for every 1,000 married people to 5.5 – the rate had more than doubled. Meanwhile, in 2017 India’s divorce rate — stood at 1%, according to a report from the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development. While the absolute number of divorces has gone up from 1 in 1,000 to 13 in 1,000 over the last decade or so, India still remains at the top of the list of countries with the lowest divorce rates. But why a sudden increase in divorce rates for a country where marriage holds the highest status and divorce is still a taboo?

Divorces are riddled with stigma in India with divorced women being looked down upon in society. One of the main reasons for the rise in divorce rates is women finally taking a stand against the injustice done to them for generations. Today, three billion women and girls live in a country where rape within marriage is not explicitly criminalized. But injustice and violations take other forms as well. In one out of five countries girls do not have the same inheritance rights as boys, while in others (a total of 19 countries) women are required by law to obey their husbands. Around one third of married women in developing countries report having little or no say over their own healthcare. A divorce gives them the opportunity to be more in control of their lives and not rely on anyone else.

Cheating and affairs are also major contributors to divorce in India. This issue has grown with the growth of a more digitalised world, with apps providing the ability to contact people at a ‘tap’ of a screen. Many Indian women in marriages are even aware of their husbands having affairs and ‘turn a blind-eye’ due to their age or years in the marriage. But it does not mean the dynamics of the marriage are happy anymore. Having an affair is the one thing that is destructive to a marriage, once found out. It destroys trust, love and care but for many, the marriage will carry on due to family and society pressures.

Indian marriages are influenced, supported and inspired by family. But also, sadly, marriages are destroyed by family too. Especially, extended family. The most common marital issue is that of the in-laws and the daughter-in-law. Breakdown of Indian marriages where the daughter-in-law is not good enough for the in-laws is one of the biggest reasons for divorce in India. From issues like ‘not enough dowry’ to ‘not being part of the family’ to ‘stealing the son from the family’ are all typical examples of the cause.

Divorce has led to the death of marriages which gives it a reputation of it being a negative word. But women are challenging that perception now and pushing for a change. Through stand-up comedies, spoken word poetry, Instagram accounts and support groups, they are fighting the stigma around divorce, one act, one verse, one post at a time. The end of a marriage could mean the beginning of a happy life and not necessarily the end of life itself.

THE BIGGER THE AGE DIFFERENCE, THE SHORTER THE MARRIAGE

There are numerous factors which can affect a relationship. Some of them are income levels, age difference or commitment etc. With the help of different researches and studies, it was concluded that age difference can also emerge as one of the factors for divorce and for creating odds in an relationship. Studies have concluded that, the greater the age difference between couples, the greater is the chance of ending a marriage and having divorce. Different studies were conducted for understanding the situation of marriage in different age intervals . According to different studies, couples having one or less than one year age difference have only 3% chances of getting divorced. If there is a difference of 5 years then the risk increases to 18%. And if the age difference is 10 years then the risk factor is 39%. This rate keeps on increasing with the increasing age gap. Couples who have less age gap have lesser chances of getting divorced and ending the marriage than those with someone who is very young or old as compared to the other. Individuals who are close in age belong to the same generation and have similar mindsets and outlook towards society and life. This provides a strong foundation to the relationship. These people have similar cultural references and taste, life experiences and will be achieving milestones in the same time. According to different findings, the chances of ending a marriage is highly reduced if marriage is done with the person having same age.

SMALL GAPS : Researchers have found that the couples having small age gaps have less chances of getting divorced. That’s not to say those marriages will not end in divorce. They certainly could. But the age difference would not be the reason for the divorce.

LARGE GAPS :The problem arises when the age difference is higher and the bigger the gap there is between people’s age, the more likely they are to end in divorce.

Changes happen slowly. The marriage may feel to be successful in the starting but the feeling change with time if there are unsuitable conditions. And in case of large age difference, it is seen that the people of more age feel to be more satisfied than the younger one and this eventually pushes the couple to divorce. People find themselves in different places and phases of and in life. If one thinks about his career or good health while the other will be focusing on retirement or declining health due to old ages. Despite the age differences and perspectives, people also have similar feelings and must have felt the happiness but in the similar way there will be numerous differences also. While examining or understanding any relationship it is necessary to understand both the partners. Relative ages of spouses affect if the husbands will leave their wives or the wives leave the husband and mostly it is found that the older spouses are left by the younger. Hence, spouses start to look less appealing and the thinking styles differs more and more as he or she ages, and it is absolute age that is driving divorce.

WHAT MAY BE THE REASONS BEHIND INCREASING NUMBER OF DIVORCES ?

The society went through number of shifts in attitude and behavior over the past 80 years and with all these shifts and transitions, the definitions, meanings, lifestyle etc. of people and the life events have also changes. There is change in the beliefs of the people and the meaning of marriage is also redefined and beliefs relating to marriage have also changed significantly. Marriage requires lifelong commitment and is dependent on an individuals fulfillment and satisfaction. With all these shifting’s, the stigma related with divorce has also been eliminated.

With the help of qualitative and quantitative studies it had been seen that there are number of reasons for divorce and some of the major reasons for divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity, and conflict/ arguing. And the most common final straw is domestic violence, infidelity and substance use. In recent decades, there is an increase in number of divorces. The increasing number of divorce is related to various social aspects.

  1. LACK OF PROPER COMMUNICATIONS : Communication is very important when we’re interacting with someone and bad communication can have many impacts on a marriage. It is important to clarify each other’s meanings and concerns, otherwise, it will lead into suspicion, mistrust and arguments and many times it can affect the marriage severely. Arguments in any relationship is not a bad thing and can have healthy results but they can have bad impacts due to lack of communication.
  2. LACK OF COMMITMENT : According to various studies, the major reason behind divorces is the lack of commitment. The commitment gradually erodes until there was not enough commitment for sustaining the relationship and also due to negative events such as infidelity.
  3. ABUSE : When there is abuse in a marriage or in a family then divorce is the best ending and result possible. In some cases it is the husband. While there are some spouses who are able to end and overcome abuse and sometimes with the help of involvement of in laws and elders, the issues can be solved. But everything depends on the attitude and mindset of the person in relationship.
  4. INFIDELITY : Infidelity is considered as a critical turning point in a destroying a relationship and majority of couples end their relationship if they are cheated and due to infidelity. In some cases it is also seen that couples overcome this challenge and find strength to stay together.
  5. ADDICTIONS : Addictions can be in many forms. It can be in the form of alcohol, gambling etc. In many cases it was found that the addicted partner can recover from it and the marriage can be continued but if there is no change and recovery from addictions then it is best for the spouse and children to separate and see if progress is possible. Depending on the circumstance, it can be decided what to do and when to do.
  6. WOMEN’S INDEPENDENCE : Women have become more independent over these years and they are no more dependent on anyone and are no more mere housewives. Women have now become financially, socially, physically and mentally independent and this affects the old aged mentality of many people who believed that women have only one function to play that is nurturing the family. Besides so much advancements, there are many people who have still been hesitant to see women’s progress. And there men who cannot see the progress of women. There are ego clashes which cause dissatisfaction in marriage and lead to divorce.