Tag: #negative

TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

BY: VAIBHAVI MENON

A toxic relationship as “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.” While every relationship goes through ups and downs, a toxic relationship is consistently unpleasant and draining for the people in it, to the point that negative moments outweigh and outnumber the positive ones. Toxic relationships are mentally, emotionally and possibly even physically damaging to one or both participants. And these relationships don’t have to be romantic, friendly, familial and professional relationships can all be toxic as well. people who consistently undermine or cause harm to a partner — whether intentionally or not — often have a reason for their behavior, even if it’s subconscious. “Maybe they were in a toxic relationship, either romantically or as a child. Maybe they didn’t have the most supportive, loving upbringing.” “They could have been bullied in school. They could be suffering from an undiagnosed mental health disorder, such as depression or anxiety or bipolar disorder, an eating disorder, any form of trauma.”

Even good relationships take work. After all, our significant other, our close friends, and even our parents aren’t perfect (and, oddly enough, they may not see us as perfect either). We have to learn how to accommodate and adapt to their idiosyncrasies, their faults, their moods, etc., just as they must learn how to do the same with us. And it’s worth it. Some relationships, however, are more difficult and require proportionately more work. We are not clones but individuals, and some individuals in relationships are going to have more difficulties, more disagreements. But because we value these relationships we’re willing to make the effort it takes to keep them. And then there are toxic relationships. These relationships have mutated themselves into something that has the potential, if not corrected, to be extremely harmful to our well being. These relationships are not necessarily hopeless, but they require substantial and difficult work if they are to be changed into something healthy. The paradox is that in order to have a reasonable chance to turn a toxic relationship into a healthy relationship, we have to be prepared to leave it (more about this later). The importance of understanding what defines a toxic relationship is elevated in a global pandemic.

Pandemic precautions have us spending more time at home. Many of us have lost the outlets that bring balance to our social, physical, and mental health–work, friends, the gym, school. Isolation at home can shed new light on the indicators that a relationship is toxic, meaning recent months have been key in identifying unhealthy patterns in our relationships. In April 2020, the Journal of Clinical Nursing reported that “home can be a place where dynamics of power can be distorted and subverted. Often without scrutiny from anyone ‘outside’ the couple or the family unit. In the COVID‐19 crisis, the exhortation to ‘stay at home’ therefore has major implications for those adults and children already living with someone who is abusive or controlling.”

LGBTQ IN WORKPLACE COMMUNITY

BY: VAIBHAVI MENON

“Nature made a mistake, which I have corrected.” With the changing times, The Lgbtq community has become an important aspect in our day to day life yet many people are opposed to the idea since they refuse to accept them. After the Supreme Court ruled in 2015 that marriage is a right guaranteed to same-sex couples, many believed the largest battle for LGBTQ rights had been won. And while the gains in recognition and legal protections were no doubt significant, same-sex marriage recognition alone couldn’t have possibly resolved a number of longstanding LGBTQ issues – particularly LGBTQ workplace issues. More than 53 percent of LGBTQ workers hide their identity at the workplace, often citing a persistent feeling of being unwelcome. This identity struggle has detrimental impacts on their health, happiness, and productivity, in addition to businesses’ talent retention and leadership development.

Many LGBTQ workplace issues stem from the fact that currently, there’s no federal law that explicitly protects employees from discrimination due to their sexual identity, gender identity, or gender expression. Such protections have necessarily come from state laws and federal court cases interpreting the law to protect LGBTQ workers. This patchwork of court rulings and state legislation leaves many vulnerable. LGBTQ employment discrimination laws vary between states. Only 23 states (in addition to the district of Columbia) bar discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in both the public and private workforce. All told, nearly half of the U.S. LGBTQ population lives in a  state that doesn’t prohibit employment discrimination because of sexual orientation and gender identity. While this LGBTQ discrimination in the workplace has an undoubtedly negative impact on the social and economic circumstances of  LGBTQ people, it’s the subtle social dynamics within workplaces that wreak havoc on their security and sense of belonging. The combination of the stress of hiding their identities, loss of advancement opportunities, and often pervasive negative sentiments about their identities help create a pervasive sense of isolation among LGBTQ workers.

The negative impact of non-inclusive workplace cultures ultimately proves a detriment to employers. Overall, employee engagement amongst LGBTQ workers is 30 percent lower than their cisgender counterparts, according to Human Rights Watch, while one in five LGBTQ employees report they were already considering leaving their job. If there’s a silver lining for HR and compliance professionals looking to create a more inclusive environment that prevents sexual orientation discrimination in the workplace, it’s the increased workplace loyalty, productivity, and happiness of LGBTQ workers in inclusive environments, according to Human Rights Watch. One in four LGBTQ employees surveyed reported that they’ve stayed in a job specifically because of its inclusive environment. In addressing LGBTQ workplace issues, anti-discrimination policies and employee resource groups (ERGs) are often the first efforts companies take to better establish a more inclusive environment. Human Rights Watch warns, though, that such efforts don’t always send their intended message. About half of polled LGBTQ workers say that enforcement of non-discrimination policies depends upon their supervisor’s overall feelings about LGBTQ individuals, and while 67 percent said they felt “very welcomed” by their ERG, 31 percent reported feeling only “somewhat welcomed.”

Toxic Positivity: To Not Become Numb About The Downs of Life

Has it ever happened to you, that when you are speaking about some problem, you have been told, “People have it worse”, “Look at the bright side…” or, “This shall too pass” ? What did it make you feel? Or, is it something you tell yourself?  So, why is it something which is not very helpful sometimes. The simple reason, positivity is an emotion, and emotions cannot be forced.

Positivity and optimism are essentials for a satisfying and peaceful life. To be bitter and negative about things, and life in general, not only slowly burn out one from inside, but also have unfavourable effects on their social life and relations. But being over-positive doesn’t always help too. Life has its own share of ups and downs. And it’s not always possible to see the good side, because sometimes, there aren’t any.

According to California based psychiatrist Gayani DeSilva, toxic positivity is “ insincere positivity that leads to harm, needless suffering, or misunderstanding”. Positivity is a healthy practice to have. It can help to sort the thoughts, plan well, and give the energy to face the world with a smile. But bad days are also a part of life. Somedays, it is just too overwhelming to keep a smile on the face, or a bright thought in the mind. Toxic positivity is, when someone fails, or refuses, to acknowledge this. Cheering up a friend? Not listening to what they are actually saying and rather encouraging them to forget it or pointing out the silver linings will not help much in the long run. It will only serve to discourage them to not share their actual, authentic emotions regarding incidents. 

When faced with toxic positives on a personal level, people often tend to feel guilty about ‘feeling down’ or not being ‘upbeat’. This happens so, because they get conditioned to believe that the negative feelings are inherently bad. This avoidance and guilt, itself, takes a toll on the mind. That beats the ultimate goal of being positive, to be at peace and happy. 

Also, it gets harmful when optimism and positivity shrouds over reality. Positivity should help us grow, rather than giving an illusion that everything is as good as it can be, thus stagnating the personal growth. Constructive criticism, from the inner self and from the well wishers, are not perceived as negative or jealousy. Things and works are not always perfect, and if that can be made better, then it should be tried to make that better. Hence, it won’t do anyone any harm listening to someone pointing out a problem, which can be overcomed. 

Acceptance should be within oneself, be it for our own experiences or for someone’s narration of ordeal. Dismissing or downplaying someone’s experience, even unconsciously, in the favour of looking only to the positive outcomes, doesn’t do justice to that person. Instead, the attitude should be listening. Whatever it is. Because they have lived that, and they know what they are speaking of. The essence of sharing should be to let go of the emotional burden, instead of hiding the worse parts out of the fear and shame of judgement.

Even when living it through. The acceptance of the negative parts of an emotional journey helps us to emerge stronger, wiser and more experienced. Positivity can only hold its true meaning when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable to feel down. It’s the same as how we appreciate the beauty of the sun rays after spending a night devoid of it. That is the beauty of emotions, to be able to feel.

Website Reference:

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/toxic-positivity-during-the-pandemic#What-is-toxic-positivity?

https://dailygreatness.co/blogs/be-your-own-guru/49767237-when-positive-thinking-becomes-delusion

https://edition.cnn.com/2020/09/17/health/toxic-positivity-mental-health-wellness/index.html

ONLINE LEARNING IN THE PANDEMIC: GOOD OR BAD?

Source: Google images

Covid-19 struck us without a warning and left all educational institutions scrambling to respond to its urgencies. It has also created a need to creatively deal with such unforeseen and once-in-a-century catastrophic event that is being called the ‘new normal’.
When the lockdown was announced in the last week of March after which the country came to a sudden halt. Everything was announced to be stopped for 21days, only essentials were allowed to be sold. Under this circumstance all educational institutions had to close their campuses, students living in the hostels were sent back home if possible. Nobody had imagined that it will eventually take more than 6 months (and still counting) for the situation to normalize.
Now the education system is lagging behind its schedule, but to make the situation sufferable online classes have been started by institutions. Which can result in keeping up with the schedule of the education system, but with every new change comes both, good and bad. Today we will discuss the about the impact of these online classes extensively.

The negative impact

Source: Google images


With the online classes, neither the teacher nor the student feel the same kind of energy as in face to face learning, so it may result in less enthusiasm from both the sides which will hamper the student-teacher relation.
Students who live in villages or places where the internet connection is not good or with great speed are unable to attend the online classes. This proves to be disadvantageous because the online classes are for students which if they wont be able to attend then what’s the point in conducting them?
Many institutions have decided to take online examinations too, now what will happen to the students who have poor internet connection during the exam time. They will fail because they will not be able to connect or reconnect due to bad internet connection.
Most of India’s population belongs to lower-middle class family, they don’t earn enough money to buy their children smartphones and gadgets, as a result many of the students do not have devices, smartphones and laptops or money to keep the internet connection while also paying the school fees.
Some teachers also struggle to get to know the technology. They are expected to make PowerPoint Presentations (PPTs), record the video lectures, and take online classes through different apps and online platforms, which not all of them are able to do properly. This is more common among the teachers because most of them didn’t had to that their whole life, and to learn something that is this vast, takes plenty of time.
A major problem has emerged for the teachers who often complain about some Students doing mischievous activities for entertainment. They share links of online classes that are sent to them by their teachers. They also tend to create Zoom IDs in random, unidentifiable names and troll teachers. Some switch off their camera and call teachers by their names from these IDs, some use them to send memes to teachers.
Teachers also have to face common issues like, Bullying by students, argumentative parents who often peep into classes, and distracted children and a story that I personally heard was about a student’s relative used the link to log into the class and “see what the teacher looks like, what she teaches and how she speaks”, and I am sure many others also must have experienced something like this.

The positive impact

Source: Google images

There is an abundance of benefits that students and teachers will get from online learning as well few of them could be:
Online learning can be done from the comfort of one’s home, especially during COVID-19 outbreak, which definitely does not mean that you can lay down on your bed and attend your classes, what it means is that it is easier for you to stay at home safely and attend classes.

Different student has different level of understanding some can learn something new easier than the other whereas some may take some time, with the online learning you can learn the lesson on your pace, you just have to record the lectures, the PowerPoint presentations are uploaded for you by the teachers.

Unlike the classroom learning, here the lessons can be constantly updated and uploaded so that students can continue on if they have finished the previous lessons.

Many students in traditional classroom environments don’t feel comfortable speaking in front of everyone but In an online environment, it can be much easier to share thoughts with others. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 74% of people suffer from speech anxiety, online classes will help them to improve and build their confidence.

Even if the exams are conducted online there is no harm in it on the plus side you will get your results instantly without having to wait for a long period of time.

Most importantly this swift shift to online mode of learning has resulted in less use of paper throughout the world as teachers and students both use technology to write notes or create presentations, thus protecting our environment.

Conclusion

As we saw above, that online learning has it’s good and bad aspects, so at least for now in this case of emergency, the online mode somewhat works for the students but still the government needs to come out with alternatives for the students with no gadgets or no internet connection or both.
For the future, that is after the pandemic is over online learning and the face to face traditional learning has to co-exist, because we can’t be fully dependent upon the virtual learning. Yes it does make the learning process easier but it still has to improve alot and also has to inculcate the values that the students learn while in the traditional learning system, and also has to eliminate the barriers in online learning so that no one is disadvantaged from this system.