There’s always a question lingering our minds, nudging our hearts even if we try to ignore them. Why don’t they want us? What is wrong with me? Am I that bad? We start to find our drawbacks.
The actual point is, it is not always about you. It is not that something is wrong with you or you did something bad. They just don’t want to be a part of your life and you didn’t drive them away from yourself. And I know that it hurts, feels like a stake in the heart. Wondering, what if you had said more or said less? If only you tried harder or never started talking. Were you aloof or more often? What if you could be the one they were looking for even if it takes you away from yourself. You only care about that person, you want them to desire you. And for this, you ruin your existing bond with them neglecting the fact that this could be better than a relationship.
Have you ever thought, “ why you want someone who doesn’t want to be with you?, who doesn’t want your true self, your authentic version.” Still you are working too hard to let them desire you! I know the answer already, “you want them and you want them so badly that you are ready to do anything to make that happen. A sense of connection is enough to push you towards false hope that whatever it is it’s your duty to keep that alive. What if you did become that person they were seeking after? You will be with them but as a changed person. You will have to maintain that “not so yourself” personality of yours and you have to spend every minute with them not being yourself.
What we want? We want people because they make us feel complete, they fill the invisible voids in our hearts and minds. There are billions of people on this planet and the good news is you haven’t met even a fraction of them. This person may not want you but that doesn’t mean its your fault. YOU JUST CANNOT MAKE THEM WANT YOU!!!
They might have there own reasons. Maybe they have their own past horror memories. Maybe they are not able to see you intensely and appreciate you. Maybe they just have different preferences that don’t add up to you and that isn’t a sign you are broken or you need to change. It simply means that person is not interested in you out of everyone on this planet and THAT’S NOT THE END!
I know it sucks and you are allowed to feel hurt. You are allowed to cry it out. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE THIS PAIN GO! But you aren’t allowed to sink in this and make yourself depressed. You are allowed to wish that what if things were different and it’s not a crime. You have to get over it by seeing the other side and realise “ this doesn’t mean you are not worthy of love”.
You can’t make them want you but I promise one day you don’t even want them to. You will find your love or they will find you. You have your whole life ahead of you, so why waste it on someone who is not worth you and your precious time.