Personal Boundaries are important because they set the basic guidelines on how you want to be treated. It is essential to have personal boundaries in order to have healthy relationships. A healthy personal boundary is when you’re confident enough to say no to others when it is necessary, but it also means that you’re comfortable enough to open up to someone you’re close with.
Listed below are a few types of important personal boundaries:
1. Material Boundaries
Material boundaries refer to setting limits on lending or borrowing material possessions like money, clothes and other personal belongings. Healthy Material Boundaries involves setting limits to what you will share and with whom.
Material boundaries look like:
- Being careful of whom you lend money to
- Limiting sharing personal hygiene items like lip balm, clothes, etc.
- Not spending time with people who do not respect your time
Material boundaries are violated when:
- your things are destroyed or stolen or when they are “borrowed” too frequently.
- Another material violation is the use of materials to manipulate and control relationships.
2. Emotional Boundaries
Emotional boundaries deals with people’s feelings and energy. It refers to how much emotional energy you can take in at a moment. A healthy emotional boundary involves knowing when to share and not share personal information and feelings and limiting sharing it with people who respond poorly.
Emotional boundaries look like:
- Needing time to cool off after an argument
- Not allowing people to shame or belittle you
- Being honest to others about your emotional state
Emotional boundaries are violated when:
- Your feelings are dismissed and criticized
- Not respecting your personal space
- asking people to justify their feelings
- emotionally dumping on people without their permission
- Telling other people how they feel
3. Physical Boundaries
Personal physical boundaries refers to the area immediately surrounding the body. A healthy physical boundaries refers to an understanding of who is allowed to come near our personal space. Physical boundary ranges from public space, social space, personal space to intimate space where nobody should be allowed without your consent.
Physical boundaries look like:
- Choosing your comfortable level of physical intimacy (hugging, shaking hands
- Setting a boundary of space with the people you live with
- Asking people to respect your privacy
Physical boundaries are violated when:
- Strangers initiate physical contact
- Not knocking your room before they enter
- Ridicule you for setting your boundaries
4. Sexual Boundaries
Sexual boundaries are very important in one’s life and are constantly under the threat of being violated. A healthy sexual boundary can be set by understanding the difference between ‘good touch’ and ‘bad touch’. Violation of this boundary can gravely affect someone’s life.
Sexual boundaries look like:
- Always ensuring that both parties consent to the act
- understanding that it is okay to say ‘no’ at any given time
- Knowing whom to share intimate personal information with
Sexual boundaries are violated when:
- Someone forces themselves onto you without consent
- asking intrusive questions about your sexuality
- sharing your intimate information about you without your consent
5. Spiritual Boundaries
We live in a society where many different religions are beliefs are followed. Spiritual boundaries refer to understanding that everyone has right to choose and believe in a religion. A healthy spiritual boundary involves respecting each other’s beliefs and their methods of portraying it.
Spiritual Boundaries look like:
- Choosing whom to share your beliefs with
- Following your own teachings and traditions
- Not allowing people to abuse you for your beliefs
Spiritual Boundaries are violated when:
- Going to a place of worship against your consent
- Being forced into someone else’s beliefs
- Being ridiculed for your beliefs
Setting up personal boundaries should be a priority in our lives as it plays an important role in coexisting harmoniously within the society.
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