What’s the fuss about Gaslighting?
Talking about ‘GASLIGHTING’, I got acquainted to this term in 2020 when I was reading a book called ‘Milkman’ by Anna Burns, the storyline revolves around the people of an unnamed town invalidating the protagonist’s feelings through hearsay and gossips. The prose of Milkman suffocated me because of excruciating gaslighting and strangling circumstances.
Gaslighting is an emotional abuse, where the abuser make a victim feel like ‘Everything is happening inside their head’, Gaslighting invalidates your emotions, manipulate your feelings. Sometimes, you might gaslight yourself in the journals. Journaling might feel therapeutic to some, few might not feel comfortable with journaling their thoughts, and that’s completely okay! However, There come times when you try journaling to feel calm but instead of feeling calm, journaling just made you anxious! that happens because you are constantly gaslighting yourself in your journals.
Self- gaslighting in journals
You are invalidating your thoughts, your feelings and emotions, you write as if your emotions are insignificant, but every emotion of yours is valid. You relentlessly repeat what others feel about you in your journals. ‘May be that is who I am’, ‘She/he is right’, I’m not supposed to feel this way’, ‘I’m overthinking a lot like how my friends are accusing, ‘I should not feel overwhelmed’
If you are journaling like this, you are definitely doing it wrong. Remember, journals won’t judge, you don’t have to please your journals. Don’t ever invalidate your emotions. Write whatever you feel in your journal, not what others feel about you! Whatever pain it is that you experience, remember, the poison leaves bit by bit. Be patient, you’re healing. The more we fight our pain, the longer it remains within us. If ignored, you’ll find yourself feeling irritated often, having angry outbursts or crying at small things.
How do I overcome it?
Even when sometimes it feels like there is nothing but emptiness, nothing to continue for, or the fire you once had within you has gone out, don’t give into the thought that you will feel this way forever. Thoughts pass, feelings change, hearts mend & perspectives gain clarity – it just takes a little trust, hope and meeting yourself halfway.
Especially now while we have the gift of time, reflect on how you were living before lockdown, analyze the people you spend time with, the environments you spend your time in, the food and drinks you consume, the job that you do, the conversations you have, the TV/music/reading materials that you invest your time in – observe them – are they helping you or are they harming you? Read more about how spending time on good things plays a massive role here.
Everything you engage in today will have an impact on your tomorrow. We’re so busy telling the world to be kind, yet we have such little compassion for ourselves. If you do one thing for yourself today – give yourself a break.
Comment down below if you have any suggestions or just feel the need to be heard. We’re here for you.
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