LOVE LANGUAGE:

The love languages describe five ways that people receive and express love in a relationship. Knowing your partner’s love language and letting them know yours can help you both feel loved and appreciated.

Nearly everyone wants to show their partner that they care about them. Yet many people struggle to do it in a way that speaks to their loved one’s heart. If you find that this describes your situation, you may want to learn more about the five love languages, which were developed by author, pastor, and counsellor Gary Chapman, PhD.

TYPES OF LOVE LANGUAGES:

After going through his notes, he came up with five love languages that people may respond to:

• Word of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Physical Touch
• Acts of services
• Receiving gifts

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: 

Words of affirmation is about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. When this is someone’s primary love language, they enjoy kind words and encouragement as well as uplifting quotes, love notes, and cute text messages. You can make this person’s day by complimenting them or pointing out what they do well.

QUALITY TIME: 

Love and affection are expressed for someone with this love language through undivided attention. The person feels loved if you are present and focused on them. This means putting down the cell phone, turning off the tablet, making eye contact, and actively listening. Affirm what the other person is saying and refrain from offering advice.

PHYSICAL TOUCH:

A person with physical touch as their primary love language feels loved through physical affection. Aside from sex, they feel loved when their partner holds their hand, touches their arm, or gives them a massage at the end of the day, for example. This person’s idea of a perfect date might include cuddling on the couch with a glass of wine and a good movie. They simply want to be close to their partner physically.

ACTS OF SERVICE: 

For acts of service, a person feels loved and appreciated when someone does nice things for them, such as:

• Helping with the dishes
• Running errands
• Vacuuming
• Putting gas in the car 

They love when people do little things for them and often can be found doing these acts of service for others.

RECEIVING GIFTS: 

Gift-giving is symbolic of love and affection for someone with this love language. They treasure not only the gift itself but also the time and effort the gift-giver put into it.

In other words, when you take the time to pick out a gift specifically for them, it tells them you really know them. People with this love language can often remember every little gift they have received from their loved ones because it makes such an impact on them.

HOW LOVE LANGUAGES BENEFIT RELATIONSHIPS: 

We all express and receive love differently. Consequently, understanding those differences can make a serious impact on your relationship. In fact, according to Dr. Chapman, this exercise is one of the simplest ways to improve your relationships. Here are some other ways it could be beneficial.

PROMOTES SELFLESSNESS:

When you are committed to learning someone else’s love language, you are focused on their needs rather than yours.Couples should work to learn their partner’s love language rather than trying to convince their partner to learn theirs. Ideally, both people will want to express love in a way that is meaningful to the other.

The entire purpose of exploring your love languages together is to learn how to love your partner in a way that is meaningful to them.

CREATES EMPATHY:

As someone learns more about how their partner experiences love, they learn to empathise with that person. It helps them step outside of themselves for a moment and take a look at what makes another person feel significant and loved.

Consequently, when couples are committed to learning and utilising the love languages, they increase their emotional intelligence and learn how to put someone else’s needs above their own. Instead of speaking their own love language to their partner, they learn how to speak in a language that their partner understands.

MAINTAINS INTIMACY: 

If couples regularly talk about what keeps their love tanks full, this creates more understanding—and ultimately intimacy—in their relationship. They not only learn more about one another, but they also connect in deeper and more meaningful ways. When this happens, their relationship begins to feel more intimate.

AIDS PERSONAL GROWTH: 

When someone is focused on something or someone outside of themselves, it can lead to personal growth. Too often people are encouraged and incentivized to be self-absorbed and unaware of anyone or anything outside of themselves. But because Dr. Chapman’s five love languages require people to love others in ways that may be outside their comfort zone, they are forced to grow and change.

SHARES LOVE IN MEANINGFUL WAYS: 

When couples start speaking one another’s love language, the things they do for each other not only become more intentional but also more meaningful. Part of this has to do with the fact that they are saying,”I love you” in ways that make sense to their partner. When they do that, their partners feel content and happy.

CONCLUSION:

Once you and your partner know each other’s love language, you both can benefit. Speaking your partner’s love language may take a little bit of effort and intention, especially if it is different from yours. Remember, healthy relationships aren’t born, they’re developed through attention and effort.

The good news is that you can enhance your relationship by learning your partner’s love language and putting it into practice. And, if you both are committed to loving one another in the ways that speaks to the other, you will find yourself not only deeper in love, but also in a happy and fulfilling relationship.