Tag: Contemporary Parenting

How Contemporary Father’s are postively parenting their daughters!

According to Barnett and Kibґiа, positive parent-child relationships heighten many different aspects of psychological well-being while these negative relationships produce psychological distress. Our society mainly concerns mother and child relationships and understanding the impact of the father and daughter relationship on society is almost negligible.

Daughters who have or are being raised under disruptive relations with their fathers are generally plagued with a host of problems throughout their lives and too often problems harming their psychological health, their children as well as other interpersonal relations.

In the age period of adolescence or as young adult women, these girls are more likely to develop psychological and emotional problems and they are more likely to become depressed than the daughters who maintain close relationships with their fathers (Amatο&Dοrius, 2010; Cаrlsοn, 2006; King &Sobοleski, 2006; Stеwart, 2003).

Father – An Underestimated parent

Fathering, since the era of kings and kingdoms were considered a prominent part of the patriarchal society where the sons/daughters were brought up by the fathers whereas the mother was the second parent for their children. The king was the one who taught their sons and daughters about archery and self-defense.  “Man is the creator of the universe”, as rightly pointed in Hinduism and other religion, as Lord Brahma is the creator of the universe and he is the man behind the lives of many living bodies. Man is considered as the priority for giving a contribution to a new soul, without a man a woman cannot contribute to a new life.

Therefore, a father is always a major part of the upbringing of the children.

Father and their Daughter’s :

The reflection of the father affects a daughter’s psyche as her first impression of the opposite gender depends upon firstly looking to her father as her other romantic relationship affects the way she has a positive relationship with her father. The stronger bond she has with her father, the more vigorous and strong understanding she will have for her romantic partner.

Good Parenting is very crucial to build a child with optimistic behavior and psyche. The mindset of any child depends majorly on the place he/she has grown up. The environment impacts a lot in a child’s initial stage of development.

Due to certain cultural and societal norms, we can examine that nurturing of children are often imposed on the mother as a mother is rightly a source of invention, a mother gives life to a soul, so her existence often becomes prominent as she is biologically more connected to a child before he/she is born. Often in this scenario, fathers are distant from their children due to certain norms set by the society that a father is a breadwinner, protector, head of the family, and a medium of finance in the family. So, the Mother becomes a center point of upbringing children,

 As we scrutinize any culture and society, a mother is often subjected if her child is not appropriate in his/her behavior in the further stages of life as the mindset of parenting is towards a mother, not a father!

But as we look in the contemporary society and family structure, we see that fathers are taking a lead role in parenting and this brings a major topic which is called “Fathering”.

Profoundly, fathers are becoming good fathers by having excellent fatherhood qualities that raise their children with a better persona.

Reasons why fathers have taken a lead and gave a contribution to parenting? Well, certain reasons which are so-called “contemporary issues or modern issues” like; divorce of parents, death of a partner, foster parenting, extramarital affairs of father or mother, etc are the reasons counted to be a change in parenting structure.

As we look at the optimistic side, the children raised by fathers are more confident in their professional and personal life as they consider their father as a reflection (to note that certain cases where contemporary issues are going inside the family). As per the study done by the experts in parenting and family structure of society brings us the data that those children who suffer the pain of losing parents or suffer from the environment where their parents do not have a good relation often tend to get discouraged and affects their personality and relationship with the outside world.

In certain cases, the family structure where there is a divorced single parent, the child is often depressed which somewhere or the other affects the cognitive, social, and emotional disbalance in his/her behavior which often makes them negative in personality.

Paternity vs Maternity:

In the provided 2 positions often there is a huge bridge between maternity (Motherhood) and Paternity (fatherhood). The quest is majorly upon, why do paternity be related to father? rather it is denoting both the parents, whereas maternity is only reflected, mother! Paternity is rightly fatherhood as a father is the main key to parenting as he is the divine creator of the whole universe. So, a father is a crucial part of parenting.

Fatherhood is a topic where still researchers are exploring and bringing new notions behind an ideal father-daughter relationship. The contemporary fathers create a benchmark for fathering and prove that fathering or paternity is specifically associated with the father and not the mother.

Breaking the Taboo:

A father in this contemporary society with all those societal norms and ethics breaks all those rules and nurture their daughters without any gender discrimination. The father nurturing was often misinterpreted as a father is a male and a daughter is a female. But this taboo is broken as fathers are the best companions of daughters in their early teenage life where a daughter goes through several body changes in which father becomes a guide, friend, motivator, therapist where she can share her psychological needs and boost her self-confidence by talking and sharing her thoughts with the first man in, her life.

“A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed and yet, one of the most valuable assets in our society”

– Billy Graham

Reading Culture, An Essential culture for all the Contemporary Parents: In the Novel – “The Reading Promise”

“Parenting” is one of the substantial topics of research study since society brought awareness towards child development and the impact of family structure on a child’s upbringing. The societal impact and the norms, culture, ethics of the sector to which the child belongs often make the personality of a child accordingly.

The contemporary parents in particular have a keen interest to not be a parent but rather a friend to their child. Reading culture is such a medium through which parent-child get closer to each other.

“The Reading Promise: 3,218 Nights Reading with My Father”, is a novel whose title explains very precisely what type of book it is. The Book Portrays the story of a Single divorced father and her daughter who had a beautiful father-daughter relationship cause of Reading culture.

Some Promises are worth be kept Forever, Like – “ A Reading Promise”.

“We called it “The Reading Streak”, but it was more of a promise. A promise to each other, a promise to ourselves. A promise to be there and never give up. It was a promise of hope in hopeless times. It was a promise of comfort when things got uncomfortable. And we kept our promise to each other.“

(Page no: 270, The Reading Promise)

This is a novel that looks more like a daily task performed by every American parent to read books to their children. But this book is more than that, this book is more about a single divorced father who is a librarian in an elementary school and loves to read the book to children which he also does with her younger daughter Alice/Lovie. The book focuses on the father-daughter relationship and their affectionate bond and their journey of how they keep a reading promise which never broke.

Well eventually after some years of life, the promise fades away as time passed and Jim(father) stopped reading books to her daughter (Alice). Jim was a single father who got divorced and living and raising 2 daughters was not an easy task where the societal impact affects a lot on a divorced man. Despite all the barriers he raised 2 daughters beautifully and with good moral values which made them successful in their later years of life.

Jim had a strong bond with Alice as she was young and liked to spend more time with her father. Jim gave a lot of care, attention, and nurturing to Alice. They were more like friends, and as friends, she used to share all her secrets and problems with her father during the night bedtime stories, which was also called “The Streak’s” in which Jim used to read Different lists of novels for 3,218 nights.

Jim –  As a  Positive Father

We can see that Alice and Jim had a very positive father-daughter relationship and in context, to single divorcee fathers it is often noticed that children tend to stay with their mothers rather than fathers.

But the Parenting/fathering of Jim was such that her daughters chose to stay with their father as mother left them for another man. Usually, in a patriarchal context in a divorcee scenario, it is the father who gives divorce, but here the novel portrays the scenario in a different context to portray the importance of a father in a daughter’s life.

Jim traveled with Alice to a lot of places, whether it is mountains, valleys, deep oceans through the imaginary stories they traveled together. They both had an understanding of each other.

Jim grew and lived Alice’s journey as she grew eventually, from the day she is born till the day she is grown into a woman. Being a girl, she had gone through many stages of her life in which adolescence was the most prominent one. It is that stage when most of the girls hide their emotions and personal life with their parents. Due to reading streak, this was not present in Alice behavior, she used to share each and everything of her life; whether it is her low grades in academics, or a fight with a friend, or going on a date with her boyfriend, she used to share each fragment of her life.  

She was never embarrassed in front of her father in any way, this is the major factor that makes Jim a contemporary father where the ideal father deals with all the contemporary issues going on in their children’s life. Jim as a supportive father made her a woman with a strong emotional and mental personality, she was fearless because she had a very positive father in her life. When Alice was in her adolescent stage many things were awkward due to the body changes but Jim normalized that taboo and made her understand that it is all that we are humans.

Usually, fathers face a lot of problems when it comes to raising a girl child because daughters are physically different gender-wise, and the psyche and emotional stability of man and woman differ in many contexts. Despite all these Jim as a father broke all these cultural conflicts and gave Alice a better life without any bad influences and any restrictions in, her life. Jim and Alice celebrated each day with new happiness and new Hope. When they completed 100 nights of reading, they celebrated by eating a pancake in a restaurant.

Although this celebration was not a big event for anyone, they achieved what they wanted to Father’s daughter completed a promise for 100 nights without any change in plans and this should they determination towards each other, they celebrated their promise which they have made with each other.

“My father spent 38 yrs. as an elementary school librarian, and I can say almost without bias that he was the Best around. His students loved him because he was good at what he did – from reading to discipline, to create a general mood of mutual respect, my father was an expert at getting children to love their time in the library.

He was an absolute pleasure to watch almost any given day. On certain days, though, it bordered on cruel and unusual punishment.”

(Page no: 90, Chapter 10, The Reading Promise).

Alice mentioned in the above quote about the qualities which Jim had as a person, she explained that his father was not only an ideal father but an ideal teacher too. Since he was just an Elementary school librarian, he didn’t get much recognition in society but among children he was likable. He had all those qualities which a teacher should have.

Children liked him more because of his soft nature and the humorous way he used to read to the children. When Alice was young, she used to spend time with Jim in his library and used to sleep in the backside of the last benches in the classroom and sometimes used to listen to Jim reading to other kids.

Jim was the reason for Alice to be an Ardent Reader. Jim loved reading books to children, but when he retired and got old then Alice was grown up and looking for a suitable job, that was the time when their streaks go ended.

Jim after retiring used to read books to senior citizens at some old age homes, and sometimes he used to spend time with children who are living in hospitals and used to read books before their surgery. Cause somewhere or the other he still missed his passion of reading books to children, because it was not a hobby but more of a passion that made him feel alive. Reading is the link with Alice’s childhood connection which makes the heart feel more alive every day.

In the end, the book is the best example for every parent to know about parenting is that; “Be a friend to your kid and ultimately you will be a good parent.”