Tag: How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to make friends as an adult.

Friendship is a beautiful relationship that sets sail towards wonderful experiences. Your friends are the ones who relieve you from your mundane routine and bring excitement in your lives. We bunk classes knowing that our friends have got our back. And if they are willing to be our partners in crime, then it’s an added blessing. We call them when depressed, knowing that our friends will allow us to vent out to them and will make us feel better. 

As we get older, lesser friends remain in touch. We may relocate to a new place, or begin our education at a new college. It then becomes necessary to pursue new friendships to keep our company. The older we get, the more challenging it becomes to make new friends. 


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Why does making friends as an adult become challenging?

As an adult, it becomes difficult to deviate from the people we already know and pursue new relationships. We also find the people around us in different phases of lives from ours. Children are well connected with each other based on the some-what universal educational system and leisure outdoor or indoor games. Even though not every child’s interests and opinions match with the others, they are dynamic and willing to try different activities along with their peers. 

But as we grow up, our interests and opinions become rigid. Instead of being dynamic, we hope to find company in people with similar interests. We also become conditional regarding the kind of people we want to be friends with. Hence it becomes challenging to make friends as an adult. 

How to make friends as an adult?

1.Take the initiative:

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Picture this, you enter into a social setting and see people around you. This is the right moment, thrust your hand out and introduce yourself. Ask follow up questions such as what does the person do, where he or she is from, and also share some personal stuff about yourself. You have set the ball rolling on making the person your friend. Maintain consistency in talking to them thereafter and you have got yourself a friend. 

2. Join organizations or associations:

Usually in colleges, associations and groups are formed to conduct fun activities and refreshments. You can join any of these groups and associations based on your interests. This allows you to associate and coordinate with people sharing your interests. It can prove to be an ice-breaker between you and the others around you and put you at ease with your newly found friends. Thus making friends as an adult is much easier than it seems!

3. Be what you seek:

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What are the qualities you seek while making friends as an adult? Possibly kind, warm, consistent, and positive. Wouldn’t the other person also look for the same qualities in a friend? Be that kind, helpful, and warm person with whom you would like to be friends with. We can work on confidence, sense of humour, and a dynamic personality later on. 

4. Pursue friendships, not similarities:

The goal is to make friends. Don’t filter people out because they don’t stand in solidarity with your interests. Seek new friends and you may also seek new interests and hobbies.

5. Hear out!

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The best part about friendship is that we always have someone to hear us out. It could be our deepest desires, problems or even mundane everyday occurrences. Seeking friends as an adult, you also may have to lend your ears to what others have to say. It forms a great foundation for a long lasting friendship. 

Making friends as an adult is no rocket science. You just need to take some time to put yourself out there to seek new friendships. 

How to Win Friends and Influence People Book Summary

Book Name : How to Win Friends and Influence People

Author Name : Dale Carnegie

Year of Publication : 1936

There is a famous proverb. “Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are.” Adding friends who can stand by us is an art. In 1936 Dale Carnegie, a famous public speaker, wrote a book on how to make such good friends. The title of the book is ” How to Win Friends and Influence People.” The book has sold nearly 30+ million copies since its publication. To date, the book has been ranked 19th on Times Magazine’s 100 Most Influence Books list.

We are going to know about such a famous book. It can be said that this book is the beginning of self development. This book has made a changes in the lives of many. 

You can learn an 8 things by reading this book. What they are,

1. Come out of present self and get new thoughts and visions

2. How to farm a team easily

3. Increase popularity

4. Become a great Influencer

5. Increase your influence level on others

6. Learn how to handle complaints and deal with conflicts

7. Learn how to have a better conversation with others

8. Influence other to work with you

You can achieve the above 8 things by reading this book. Not only this but there are a lot of things in this book.

This book has a total of 32 chapters. Author holds this as a 4 part. 

PART I – Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

As we learn what is being said in this part, we will begin to interact properly with others. When we interact like that, we develop a respect among the people.

PART II – Six Ways to Make People Like You

Author has said here a 6 things for others to like us or for others to look at us and be impressed in this part. Why is it said that First Impression is the Best Impression. Always a lot of people will think we are like this when they see us. So he has explained how to make us believe when others see us or how to create best impression on us when they see us.  

PART III – How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

Author has clearly stated in this part how to bring others our way. Some of the important things that Arthur has said in this are that we can never win a debate. Because it’s not a problem if you are arguing for proof in a discussion. But to those who argue that what I am saying is right author says that it is difficult for us to win. And in this part he has said many things about how we are creating our enemies, how to avoid it, and how to make others like us.

PART IV – Be a Leader : How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

Author has told us how to be a leader and how to bring people our way in this part. Sometimes there will be some arguments between us and those who follow us. It explains how to say it without offending them. If you are a team leader or manager in a company, the steps mentioned in this part will be very helpful to make your team do what you think.

Author has said a lot about things like this in this book. That is, no one likes to accept someone’s order. So he has said very clearly about everything from how we indirectly command someone and how to get them to do the work we need for us.