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These, Our Bodies, Possessed By Light – Book Review

Introduction

‘What can one say of childhood grief? That it is lonely. That it is invisible. That it is denied the vocabulary granted to adult despair. That it shifts, mutates, but seldom vanishes. That it casts a mark. My sisters and I, were sorrow stained.’

‘These Our Bodies Possessed by Light’ by Dharini Bhaskar.

Central Theme

This is that book you want to sink your teeth into, heedlessly you try to embrace the characters and before putting it down, your eyes won’t tear away from the pages. This is that cavernous, mercurial prose I’ve been wanting to read everytime I pick up a book. I was effortlessly sliding down into the souls of Saroja, Vanaja and Deeya, into their sorrows, happiness, unearthliness. Some of their emotions got no name, it strikes you hard, it’s evocative but it’s got no name.

Plot Analysis

Let’s start with Amamma, Amamma in 1943 as Saroja, brushing her pinky finger with Venu’s, feeling the utmost ecstacy and suddenly Ranga overstrips him and imprisoning Amamma, she’s now traveling with Ranga in a bullock cart, faraway, faraway from Venu. Saroja becomes Amamma and Amamma forgets her memories. Her story ends here with indelible pain and forgotten memories.

Karthik writes letters to Vanaja in 1980s,’Dear Vanna’ he starts, he scrawls with love, he weds Vanaja and leaves one night, leaving his three children, Karthik goes away, farway from Vanna, somewhere colder than Bombay. Here, Vanaja scrawls, ‘Dear Karthik’ she starts, and ends every letter with ‘Is it cold? Hope to see you soon in Bombay’. Vanna becomes Vanaja, her story ends here with indelible memories and forgotten pain.

Deeya is now struggling to find premonition of love (vaguely translated from Japanese phrase ‘koi no yokan’) in an old man Sahil, her love for Sahil suffocates her, and Deeya’s story doesn’t end here, unlike Amamma and Vanaja, Deeya’s story starts in the ending.

Closure | These Our Bodies Possessed By Light – Book Review

Every page has a strange evasiveness, the story of these three women and many other women in this book will not get erased from your heart for years, it stays there. It stays in your heart and asks you to draw a conclusion.

‘These, Our Bodies, Possessed by Light‘ by Dharini Bhaskar is an ambiguous story of broken souls. It encapsulates a lot of emotions, as I have mentioned above some emotions are nostalgic and anonymous, the father issue of Deeya and her struggles in the relationships are strikingly profound. Dharini Bhaskar has weaved a storyline that bewilder and astonish you at the same time.

Book Review – Shamal Days

“He realized that any form of pain needed time to turn itself into art… In the cold face of tragedy, in the heat of pain reality, no one could express its gravity in poetry or any other form of art. Time has to work on sense of loss, squeeze the heart over lonely days and nights to churn out art from pain”

– Shamal Days by Sabin Iqbal

Theme –

Solitude has two different interpretations, it sculpts your soul to experience the most beautiful occurrences in the world, it makes you contemplate your existence, Solitude has an immense power to transform you, on the other hand, Solitude turns you cold, rigid, numb, the pain it’s inflicted upon you never fades, it deteriorates your heart and makes you yearn for the beautiful memories.

‘Shamal Days’ by Sabin Iqbal cloaks the second interpretation, this book is petrifying and strikingly veristic. Thinking about the novels I’ve read on expatriates’ issues, those novels intrigued, fascinated and overwhelmed me, but ‘Shamal Days’ emotionally destroyed me. I’m still traveling with Abbas and his regrets. I carry the cumbersome thoughts inside my mind, the thoughts of Abbas, Ratnam, Matt, Abimanyu, ‘Mirror’ magazine, Abdullah and Ed. The characters are flickering inside me.

The pivot of the story

This book unravels the horrifying issues that were happening in 1990s along with the life of our protagonist Abbas, set in Arabian Gulf, the story is told in a haunting, atmospheric narration. Abbas, our protagonist works at a small newspaper ‘Mirror’ in an anonymous country in Arabian Gulf. ‘Mirror’ is a hub of expatriates, the journalists are from different regions, China, India, Africans, Pakistanis. Abbas, who lived a lonely life since his school days, decides to work in Arabian Gulf without settling down in Allepey, his hometown in Kerala, India. Abbas travels with guilts, regrets, longing for those days he’s lost. His dark memories, memories of cheating, subjected to abuse in his childhood and the hoaxer inside Abbas plagues him.

From searching Saddam Hussain and arresting him in the end, the story delineates the political issues alongside the regretful decisions of Abbas. Sabin Iqbal has weaved the convulsing political issues with the disturbing personal life of Abbas. The characters are divergent, repulsive and conflicting. The realistic portrayal of expatriates in the Arabian Gulf is astonishing, the author has also created the backdrop with the Palestinians’ struggles and Zionists’ attack on Palestine, though the author has not extensively portrayed in the novel, the author sends a shiver down our spine in the very first page.

Conclusion

The novel ends with the quest, with a strange determination, the audacity of the few characters are flickering in the end, the novel is certainly a page turner with the Abbas’ interview with Saddam Hussain, the Sheiks in the Arab, the government controlling journalism in a desert country and the unforeseen betrayals of the characters. ‘Shamal Days‘ is haunting and idiosyncratic.

Gaslighting : The doom of Mental Health

What’s the fuss about Gaslighting?

Talking about ‘GASLIGHTING’, I got acquainted to this term in 2020 when I was reading a book called ‘Milkman’ by Anna Burns, the storyline revolves around the people of an unnamed town invalidating the protagonist’s feelings through hearsay and gossips. The prose of Milkman suffocated me because of excruciating gaslighting and strangling circumstances.

Gaslighting is an emotional abuse, where the abuser make a victim feel like ‘Everything is happening inside their head’, Gaslighting invalidates your emotions, manipulate your feelings. Sometimes, you might gaslight yourself in the journals. Journaling might feel therapeutic to some, few might not feel comfortable with journaling their thoughts, and that’s completely okay! However, There come times when you try journaling to feel calm but instead of feeling calm, journaling just made you anxious! that happens because you are constantly gaslighting yourself in your journals.

Self- gaslighting in journals

You are invalidating your thoughts, your feelings and emotions, you write as if your emotions are insignificant, but every emotion of yours is valid. You relentlessly repeat what others feel about you in your journals. ‘May be that is who I am’, ‘She/he is right’, I’m not supposed to feel this way’, ‘I’m overthinking a lot like how my friends are accusing, ‘I should not feel overwhelmed’

If you are journaling like this, you are definitely doing it wrong. Remember, journals won’t judge, you don’t have to please your journals. Don’t ever invalidate your emotions. Write whatever you feel in your journal, not what others feel about you! Whatever pain it is that you experience, remember, the poison leaves bit by bit. Be patient, you’re healing. The more we fight our pain, the longer it remains within us. If ignored, you’ll find yourself feeling irritated often, having angry outbursts or crying at small things.

How do I overcome it?

Even when sometimes it feels like there is nothing but emptiness, nothing to continue for, or the fire you once had within you has gone out, don’t give into the thought that you will feel this way forever. Thoughts pass, feelings change, hearts mend & perspectives gain clarity – it just takes a little trust, hope and meeting yourself halfway.⁣⁣
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Especially now while we have the gift of time, reflect on how you were living before lockdown, analyze the people you spend time with, the environments you spend your time in, the food and drinks you consume, the job that you do, the conversations you have, the TV/music/reading materials that you invest your time in – observe them – are they helping you or are they harming you? ⁣⁣Read more about how spending time on good things plays a massive role here.


⁣⁣Everything you engage in today will have an impact on your tomorrow. ⁣⁣We’re so busy telling the world to be kind, yet we have such little compassion for ourselves. If you do one thing for yourself today – give yourself a break.

Comment down below if you have any suggestions or just feel the need to be heard. We’re here for you.
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