The story of a depressed Teen

I don’t know why am I failing everytime. Is it my overconfidence or lack of confidence. I don’t have a luck or I have a bad luck. Every exam I gave till now is a failure. It’s definitely my lack of work and trying nothing and waiting for the luck. If I can’t do then, it’s better if I hope for the luck, but I can do if I wanna do but still I do nothing and blame it on luck.

I am too depressed to hear it and trying to be happy but my mind is revolving around it. I can’t do anything from moving on. If it’s one failure then it would be easier but failure after failure is hitting me back without time for me to recover. My mother tried to figure out that I am sad even though I tried to cover my face up. That’s what may be true love meant. My heart is aching and I can’t believe the fact that I failed and I am slowly loosing confidence in me and reaching to a fatal state.

I have no one to tell and trying to reduce my pain by writing here. I am hoping to regain my confidence back because that’s only thing that make us sustain in this cruel world. I had thought of many times to work hard and it remained as a thought itself. Lot of failures had surrounded me and the test that I attempted are merely a train of failures. I blame it on luck and again stopped to work hard. I realised that the only thing that I had to do is hard work and there is no short cut.

I have a fear of failure and if I fail then I can easily blame it to some other reason and escape from that blame on me. If I can’t work then I don’t get a work. All these days I believed in luck by working nothing. I will work because I never saw these many failures. If I couldn’t work now then definitely I will loose my confidence and will treat me as a failure. Hope atleast I will work from now. Hope I would have a better future if I work in a featured manner.