WHAT IS AN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP?

An interpersonal relationship is a social connection or affiliation between two or more people. Interpersonal relationships can include your partner, loved ones, close friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and many others who make up the social connections in your life.

Human beings are social by nature. The connections we build with others are critical to social, emotional, and physical health. Knowing how to maintain interpersonal relationships can help you build a support system that provides strength as you cope with life’s challenges.

BE OPEN 

In order to form and maintain strong bonds with others, there needs to be a mutual give-and-take when it comes to sharing information with one another.People need to open up to you, but you also have to be willing to let others in and share details about your experiences, emotions, and opinions.

After all, it is through this mutual sharing that you get to know each other. This process, known as self disclosure, forges bonds and deepens intimacy between people.

Consider how you might feel if someone you care about did not share important information with you about things that are happening in their life. You might be left feeling that they don’t trust you or that they don’t consider you a close friend. 

Letting others in isn’t always easy. By sharing, you are showing them that you trust and care for them—and giving them the opportunity to show the same care in return.

In order to maintain interpersonal relationships, work on learning to be open with the people in your life. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Look for opportunities where you can let people get to know the “real” you.

MAINTAIN BOUNDARIES :

Being open doesn’t mean you should give others unlimited access to your thoughts, feelings, or time. Health boundaries are also a vital foundation of any strong relationship. It is important not only to establish these boundaries but to enforce them as well.

A boundary can be defined as what you are willing to accept in a relationship. These boundaries represent your values, expectations, and limitations.

A boundary in your interpersonal relationships might look like having limits on when you spend time together or expectations for when you will be there for one another. It can also involve how much you are willing to share about yourself emotionally, physically, and even digitally.

These boundaries are important in your relationships with other people, but they’re also important for your relationship with yourself.³

It’s important that others respect your boundaries, but it is just as important for you to respect theirs. Respecting these boundaries shows that you care about each other’s values, goals, emotions, and needs.

LISTEN: 

Good communication is essential in any relationship, but it’s important to remember that communicating well involves being able to listen.

 You’re not just being quiet and letting them say their piece—you’re reflecting on their words, paraphrasing what they have said to show you are listening, and asking questions you may have. 

Listening shows that you care. It shows that you are involved in the other person’s life and interested in what they have to say.

Listening is a great way to learn more about the other person. It also allows you to offer support and emotional validation, which can go a long way toward making the other person value you as a friend and confidant.

TIPS FOR ACTIVE LISTENING:

• Don’t interrupt
• Avoid voicing opinions or judgments
• Maintain good eye contact
• Ask open-ended questions
• Paraphrase what the other person has said

SHOW RESPECT :

To maintain interpersonal relationships, you should also show respect for others. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say or do what they want to do. However, It does mean you should show that you value their feelings, opinions, time, and interests.

When showing respect in interpersonal relationships, you should:

• Avoid disparaging the things they enjoy
• Keep the commitments you’ve made to them
• Show up on time
• Be mindful of their feelings
• Listen to them, even when you disagree

BE EMPATHETIC: 

It involves being able to put yourself in another person’s shoes and feel what they feel. It means you see things from their perspective and feel their pain as if it was your own.

Interpersonal relationships benefit from empathy in many ways. When you show that you feel what someone else is feeling, it helps the other person gain a sense of belonging. It helps others feel understood, and that understanding serves as a foundation for trust and closeness in a relationship.

Research also suggests that in addition to strengthening relationships, empathy also fosters kindness, cooperation, and helping behaviours and improves mental health.

OTHER TIPS:

• Earn and be worthy of trust
• Make an effort to show you care
• Improve your listening skills
• Share things about yourself
• Accept feedback
• Be honest
• Validate their feelings

WHY RELATIONSHIPS MATTER: 

Research has found that interpersonal relationships can have a number of important benefits for physical and psychological health. Some of these include:

• Combating loneliness
• Decreasing the risk of depression and suicide
• Lowering the risk of cardiovascular disease
• Improving longevity

When you have strong interpersonal relationships, you may feel more motivated to engage in behaviors that are good for your health. Research has found that people who participate more in social relationships are also more likely to eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and avoid smoking.

CONCLUSION:

Being able to maintain strong interpersonal relationships plays a critical role in both your physical and emotional well-being. Think about the qualities that you value the most in your relationships— such as trust, respect, friendship, kindness, and honestly—and work on showing others those same virtues.

While it can be easy to get caught up in the busyness of everyday life, make it a habit to spend time cultivating and protecting your relationships with the people who matter the most. A little time, attention, and effort can ensure that you are giving people the support they need and that you get the same support in return.

The love languages describe five ways that people receive and express love in a relationship. Knowing your partner’s love language and letting them know yours can help you both feel loved and appreciated.

Nearly everyone wants to show their partner that they care about them. Yet many people struggle to do it in a way that speaks to their loved one’s heart. If you find that this describes your situation, you may want to learn more about the five love languages, which were developed by author, pastor, and counsellor Gary Chapman, PhD.

TYPES OF LOVE LANGUAGES:

After going through his notes, he came up with five love languages that people may respond to:

• Word of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Physical Touch
• Acts of services
• Receiving gifts

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: 

Words of affirmation is about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. When this is someone’s primary love language, they enjoy kind words and encouragement as well as uplifting quotes, love notes, and cute text messages. You can make this person’s day by complimenting them or pointing out what they do well.

QUALITY TIME: 

Love and affection are expressed for someone with this love language through undivided attention. The person feels loved if you are present and focused on them. This means putting down the cell phone, turning off the tablet, making eye contact, and actively listening. Affirm what the other person is saying and refrain from offering advice.

PHYSICAL TOUCH:

A person with physical touch as their primary love language feels loved through physical affection. Aside from sex, they feel loved when their partner holds their hand, touches their arm, or gives them a massage at the end of the day, for example. This person’s idea of a perfect date might include cuddling on the couch with a glass of wine and a good movie. They simply want to be close to their partner physically.

ACTS OF SERVICE: 

For acts of service, a person feels loved and appreciated when someone does nice things for them, such as:

• Helping with the dishes
• Running errands
• Vacuuming
• Putting gas in the car 

They love when people do little things for them and often can be found doing these acts of service for others.

RECEIVING GIFTS: 

Gift-giving is symbolic of love and affection for someone with this love language. They treasure not only the gift itself but also the time and effort the gift-giver put into it.

In other words, when you take the time to pick out a gift specifically for them, it tells them you really know them. People with this love language can often remember every little gift they have received from their loved ones because it makes such an impact on them.

HOW LOVE LANGUAGES BENEFIT RELATIONSHIPS: 

We all express and receive love differently. Consequently, understanding those differences can make a serious impact on your relationship. In fact, according to Dr. Chapman, this exercise is one of the simplest ways to improve your relationships. Here are some other ways it could be beneficial.

PROMOTES SELFLESSNESS:

When you are committed to learning someone else’s love language, you are focused on their needs rather than yours.Couples should work to learn their partner’s love language rather than trying to convince their partner to learn theirs. Ideally, both people will want to express love in a way that is meaningful to the other.

The entire purpose of exploring your love languages together is to learn how to love your partner in a way that is meaningful to them.

CREATES EMPATHY:

As someone learns more about how their partner experiences love, they learn to empathise with that person. It helps them step outside of themselves for a moment and take a look at what makes another person feel significant and loved.

Consequently, when couples are committed to learning and utilising the love languages, they increase their emotional intelligence and learn how to put someone else’s needs above their own. Instead of speaking their own love language to their partner, they learn how to speak in a language that their partner understands.

MAINTAINS INTIMACY: 

If couples regularly talk about what keeps their love tanks full, this creates more understanding—and ultimately intimacy—in their relationship. They not only learn more about one another, but they also connect in deeper and more meaningful ways. When this happens, their relationship begins to feel more intimate.

AIDS PERSONAL GROWTH: 

When someone is focused on something or someone outside of themselves, it can lead to personal growth. Too often people are encouraged and incentivized to be self-absorbed and unaware of anyone or anything outside of themselves. But because Dr. Chapman’s five love languages require people to love others in ways that may be outside their comfort zone, they are forced to grow and change.

SHARES LOVE IN MEANINGFUL WAYS: 

When couples start speaking one another’s love language, the things they do for each other not only become more intentional but also more meaningful. Part of this has to do with the fact that they are saying,”I love you” in ways that make sense to their partner. When they do that, their partners feel content and happy.

CONCLUSION:

Once you and your partner know each other’s love language, you both can benefit. Speaking your partner’s love language may take a little bit of effort and intention, especially if it is different from yours. Remember, healthy relationships aren’t born, they’re developed through attention and effort.

The good news is that you can enhance your relationship by learning your partner’s love language and putting it into practice. And, if you both are committed to loving one another in the ways that speaks to the other, you will find yourself not only deeper in love, but also in a happy and fulfilling relationship.

MEANING:

Compassion involves feeling another person’s pain and wanting to take steps to help relieve their suffering. The word compassion itself derives from Latin and means “to suffer together.”

It is related to other emotions such as empathy, sympathy and altruism, although the concepts have some key differences. Empathy refers more to the general ability to take another person’s perspective and feel the emotions of others. Compassion, on the other hand, is what happens when those feelings of empathy are accompanied by the desire to help.

SIGNS OF COMPASSION:

Some signs that you have compassion for others include:

• Feeling like you have a great deal in common with other people, even if you are very different in many ways.
• Being able to understand what other people are going through and feeling their pain.
• Being mindful of other people’s emotions, thoughts, and experiences.
• Taking action when you see that someone else is suffering.
• Having a high level of emotional intelligence so that you are able to understand, manage, and act on your own emotions as well as the emotions of others.
• Feeling gratitude when other people express compassion for your own hardships.

TYPES OF COMPASSION:

Compassion often comes in one of two forms, which vary depending on where these feelings are directed. Your experience of compassion may be either directed toward other people, or it may be directed inwardly toward yourself:

• Compassion for others: When you experience compassion for other people, you feel their pain and want to find a way to relieve their suffering. These feelings compel you to take action to do what you can to make the situation better.
• Self Compassion: This involves treating yourself with the same compassion and kindness that you would show to others. Rather than beating yourself up over mistakes you may have made in the past, you feel understanding, mindful, and accepting of yourself and your imperfections.

HOW TO PRACTICE COMPASSION: 

There are a number of different steps you can take to show compassion to others. 

• Speak with kindness
• Apologize when you’ve made a mistake
• Listen carefully and without judgment
• Encourage other people
• Offer to help someone with a task
• Be happy for someone else’s success
• Accept people for who they are
• Forgive people for making mistakes
• Show respect
• Express gratitude and appreciation
• Be patient

When you practice compassion, you start by empathising with another person’s situation. You look at what they are going through without judgment and imagine how you might feel in their situation.

Compassion and empathy share common elements, but compassion goes a step beyond. Rather than just imagining yourself in their shoes, compassion drives you to take action to help that person. Because you are able to feel those emotions so keenly—almost as if it is happening to you—there is a strong motivation to find a way to change the situation or ease the other person’s pain.

IMPACT OF COMPASSION:

Compassion can have a positive impact on your life, ranging from improving your relationships to boosting your overall happiness. Some of the positive effects of compassion:

• Giving feels good: One of the reasons why compassion can be so effective is that both giving and receiving can improve your psychological well-being. Being the recipient of compassion can help you get the support you need to carry you through a difficult time. But giving compassion to others can be just as rewarding. For example, researchers have found that giving money to others who need it actually produces greater happiness rewards than spending it on ourselves.
• Compassionate people live longer: Engaging in activities such as volunteering to help those you feel compassion for can improve your longevity. One study found that people who volunteer out of concern for others tend to live longer than people who do not volunteer.
• Compassion contributes to a life of purpose: One study found that the happiness that comes from living a life of purpose and meaning—one that is fueled by kindness and compassion—can play a role in better health. In the study, participants who experience what is known as eudaimonic happiness—or the kind of happiness that comes from living a meaningful life that involves helping others—experienced lower levels of depression, stronger immunity, and less inflammation.
• Compassion improves relationships: Compassion can also help you build the social support and connections that are important for mental well-being. Research suggests that compassion is a key predictor of the success and satisfaction of relationships.

HOW TO BE MORE COMPASSIONATE: 

While some people tend to be more compassionate by nature, experts also suggest that there are steps you can take to cultivate a greater sense of compassion for both yourself and others:

• Bring your attention to the situation: The first component of compassion is to become more aware of what other people are experiencing. Imagine yourself in their shoes. Being able to see things from another person’s perspective can help you gain a sense of compassion for their situation. Practice putting yourself in someone else’s place and imagine how you might feel. Focus on feeling how they might be feeling.
• Let go of judgment: Accepting people as they are and avoiding judgment is important. Focus on accepting people for who they are without criticising or blaming the victim.
• Practice mindfulness:Mindfulness is a practice of focusing on the present, becoming more aware of your own thoughts, and observing these thoughts without judging them. Research suggests that mindfulness-based interventions can be effective for improving self-compassion.
• Try loving kindness meditation: This form of meditation, also known as compassion meditation, involves meditating while directing kind, compassionate thoughts toward yourself or others. Research suggests that this form of meditation can help people improve their connection to others and boost well-being.

CONCLUSION:

Compassion allows you to feel what others are feeling and motivates prosocial behaviour that can improve the well-being of others as well as improve your own physical and mental wellness. While some people experience compassion more often by nature, there are things that you can do to help improve your own ability to feel compassion for others.

Learning this ability takes some time and practice, but it’s worth it to keep working on flexing your compassion skills. Being open to feeling what others are feeling can help you create deeper, more meaningful connections. Acting on these feelings of compassion can benefit others, but as the research suggests, sometimes compassion is its own reward.

Most of us have a tendency to live in the past or the future. How often do you find yourself thinking about what happened yesterday, or what might happen tomorrow? How does this affect your life and well-being?

In this article, we will discuss how to live in the present moment more frequently, and some ways that can help you get back into living mindfully.

NOTICE YOUR SURROUNDINGS: 

One way to be in the present moment is by noticing your surroundings. How often do you take time out of your day to actually look around and see what’s going on? When was the last time you sat down, closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and just looked at everything around you?

Take this opportunity right now: close both of your eyes and take a deep breath, then open them and really take in where you are.

• How do the walls look? 
• What about the floor or ceiling—what patterns can you see there? 
• How many windows are there to your left and right? 
• How many lights can you count from here? 

When you stop to look at your surroundings and take in everything around you, it’s easier to live in the present moment.

FOCUS ON ONE THING AT A TIME:

While it may feel more productive to multitask and work on more than one thing at a time, constantly juggling multiple tasks makes it hard to live in the present moment. While doing something that requires your full attention can seem overwhelming at first, be aware of how much more productive you are when fully engaged in a task. Compare this with trying to squeeze multiple things into one period of time or spending half of your energy on three different projects.

If you’re working on something, give it all of your attention. When you find yourself thinking about other things or checking your phone because you don’t feel like doing the task at hand, stop and turn that focus back to what’s in front of you. Research shows that when you are fully focused on what’s happening at that moment, you can better remember details in the long term anyway.

ACCEPT THINGS AS THEY ARE (NOT HOW YOU WANT THEM TO BE): 

If you want to start living in the present moment, you need to let go of how you think things should be and accept them for what they are. You cannot control everything that happens around you; sometimes life is going to be different than how you want it to be.  

SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPY AND FULFILLED:

Spending time with people who make you feel happy and fulfilled can be a great way to help yourself live in the present moment. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people will increase your own positivity and happiness levels. In turn, this will allow you to focus on what is going well right now instead of dwelling on past or future events.

GET REGULAR EXERCISE OR DO SOME YOGA: 

Regular exercise or even just taking a stroll through the park can help you to stay more focused on your present activities. Including yoga as part of your daily routine is another great way to live in the present, especially if it’s coupled with meditation and mindfulness exercises.

If you can’t make time for all full yoga class, just stopping what you are doing to take a couple of minutes for some basic poses can help you to get back into the moment.

TAKE A BREAK FROM SOCIAL MEDIA AND TECHNOLOGY:

While you might think that constantly checking your social media accounts is helping you stay connected to the world, it is actually having a negative effect on your ability to be present.

How many times have you been doing something else and found yourself checking social media? It’s important that you learn how to avoid letting technology take over your life as this can really prevent you from being mindful of what is going on around you.

PRACTICE MINDFULNESS MEDITATION: 

One way to live more in the present moment is by practicing mindfulness meditation. This type of meditation helps people become aware and increase their concentration on what they are doing at any given time. Starting a daily meditation practice can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, which can in turn increase the amount of time that you spend in the present moment.

CONCLUSION:

In conclusion, living in the present moment requires that you take the time to appreciate where you are, what you’re doing, and who is with you. Instead of becoming caught up in the past or worrying about what will happen in the future, try to savor each moment as it passes. If you need help with this process, talking to a therapist can be very helpful. They can give you tools and techniques that may make living in the present easier for you.

WHY DO WE DREAM?

The question of why we dream has fascinated philosophers and scientists for thousands of years. Despite scientific inquiry into the function of dreams, we still don’t have a solid answer for why we do it. While much remains uncertain about dreaming, many experts have developed theories about the purpose of dreams, with new empirical research providing greater clarity.

DREAMS PROCESS INFORMATION 

According to the activation synthesis model of dreaming, circuits in the brain become activated during REM sleep, which triggers the amygdala and hippocampus to create an array of electrical impulses.This results in a compilation of random thoughts, images, and memories that appear while dreaming.

When we wake, our active minds pull together the various images and memory fragments of the dream to create a cohesive narrative.

In the activation-synthesis hypothesis, dreams are a compilation of randomness that appear to the sleeping mind and are brought together in a meaningful way when we wake. In this sense, dreams may provoke the dreamer to make new connections, inspire useful ideas, or have creative epiphanies in their waking lives.

DREAMS AID IN MEMORY:

According to the information-processing theory, sleep allows us to consolidate and process all of the information and memories that we have collected during the previous day. Some dream experts suggest that dreaming is a byproduct, or even an active part, of this experience processing.

This model, known as the self-organisation theory of dreaming, explains that dreaming is a side effect of brain neural activity as memories are consolidated during sleep.During this process of unconscious information redistribution, it is suggested that memories are either strengthened or weakened. According to the self-organization theory of dreaming, while we dream, helpful memories are made stronger, while less useful ones fade away.

Research supports this theory, finding improvement in complex tasks when a person dreams about doing them. Studies also show that during REM sleep, low-frequency theta waves were more active in the frontal lobe, just like they are when people are learning, storing, and remembering information when awake.

Dreams Reflect Your Life 

Under the continuity hypothesis, dreams function as a reflection of a person’s real life, incorporating conscious experiences into their dreams.

 Rather than a straightforward replay of waking life, dreams show up as a patchwork of memory fragments.

Still, studies show that non-REM sleep may be more involved with declarative memory (the more routine stuff), while REM dreams include more emotional and instructive memories.In general, REM dreams tend to be easier to recall compared to non-REM dreams.

Under the continuity hypothesis, memories may be fragmented purposefully in our dreams as part of incorporating new learning and experiences into long term memory.Still, there are many unanswered questions as to why some aspects of memories are featured more or less prominently in our dreams.

OTHER THEORIES ABOUT WHY WE DREAM: 

Many other theories have been suggested to account for why we dream.

• One theory contends that dreams are the result of our brains trying to interpret external stimuli (such as a dog’s bark, music, or a baby’s cry) during sleep.
• Another theory uses a computer metaphor to account for dreams, noting that dreams serve to “clean up” clutter from the mind, refreshing the brain for the next day.
• The reverse-learning theory suggests that we dream to forget. Our brains have thousands of neural connections between memories—too many to remember them all—and that dreaming is part of “pruning” those connections.
• In the continual-activation theory, we dream to keep the brain active while we sleep, in order to keep it functioning properly.

TYPES OF DREAMS:

LUCID DREAMING: 

Relatively rare dreams where the dreamer has awareness of being in their dream and often has some control over the dream content. Research indicates that around 50% of people recall having had at least one lucid dream in their lifetime and just over 10% report having them two or more times per month.

It is unknown why certain people experience lucid dreams more frequently than others. While experts are unclear as to why or how lucid dreaming occurs, preliminary research signals that the prefrontal and parietal regions of the brain play a significant role.

STRESS DREAMS:

Experiences which are stressful show great frequency in our brain. Stress dreams may be described as sad, scary.

Experts do not fully understand how or why specific stressful content ends up in our dreams, but many point to a variety of theories, including the continuity hypothesis, adaptive strategy, and emotional regulation dream theories to explain these occurrences. Stress dreams and mental health seem to go hand-in-hand.

• Daily stress shows up in dreams: Research has shown that those who experience greater levels of worry in their waking lives and PTSD report higher frequency and intensity of nightmares.
• Mental health disorders may contribute to stress dreams: Those with mental health disorders such as anxiety, bipolar disorder and depression tend to have more distressing dreams, as well as more difficulty sleeping in general.
• Anxiety is linked to stress dreams: Research indicates a strong connection between anxiety and stressful dream content.These dreams may be the brain’s attempt to help us cope with and make sense of these stressful experiences.

CONCLUSION:

While there are many theories for why we dream, more research is needed to fully understand their purpose. Rather than assuming only one hypothesis is correct, dreams likely serve a variety of purposes.

Knowing that so much is left uncertain about why we dream, we can feel free to view our own dreams in the light that resonates best with us.

If you are concerned about your dreams and/or are having frequent nightmares, consider speaking to your doctor or consulting a sleep specialist.

Even though the stock market continues to engage in wild swings, people are still predicting a better year financially.

That sense of optimism was one of the most striking findings in Fidelity Investments’ tenth annual “New Year Financial Resolutions Study,” and could be an encouraging sign that – despite December’s rockiest performance in decades by all the major U.S. indexes – Americans still have confidence when it comes to the strength of the economy.

In fact, 75 percent of the adults age 18 and older who were surveyed envisioned a rosier financial future for 2019, and 42 percent say they were presently better off than the year before. What’s more the fact that far more people were even making financial resolutions compared to last year – saving more money topped the list – was telling, says Ken Hevert, Fidelity’s senior vice president of retirement and income solutions.

“This suggests people are no longer willing to remain complacent about their finances simply because the stock market has performed well in the last decade,” he says. “On the heels of what is the longest bull market in history, Americans are re-examining their past financial mistakes and revisiting areas that could stand improvement. They want to maintain momentum in the new year, no matter what the market brings.”

Fattening retirement nest eggs was among the long-term goals deemed especially important, so much so that 48 percent of respondents say they intended to boost their 401(k) and/or IRA contributions by at least 1 percent of their salary. How fortuitous: The limit on annual contributions was recently raised from $18,500 to $19,000 for the former, and from $5,500 to $6,000 for the latter.

As for “re-examining their past mistakes,” as Hevert puts it, 58 percent of respondents confessed to committing at least one of the following financial missteps last year: 
• Dining out too much (28 percent);
• Splurging on something they couldn’t really afford (19 percent);
• Neglecting to return or exchange unwanted purchases (18 percent);
• Continuing to pay for subscriptions like apps and streaming media services they no longer use (18 percent);
• Paying too much in fees for ATM machines and late payments (18 percent).

Many online tools exist to help people keep their resolutions. Fidelity, for example, has an entire webpage dedicated to the subject that anyone can access, and also 
offers a free “Retirement Score” tool that lets you see where you currently stand just by answering six simple questions.

So what were the top three financial resolutions for 2019? And who was the most optimistic?

The answer to the first question: Aside from saving more (a median of $200 per month), there was paying down debt and spending less. As for the second, Millennials – with 85 percent of them predicting better times ahead.