Tag: arrogance

Thin line between pride and arrogance | Are people just envious of my success?

Am I really arrogant or am I just confident? How to deal with people calling me over-ambitious or arrogant when I am just working towards my dream?

Let’s first dive into difference between pride i.e., self-confidence and arrogance.

As we discuss previously, pride is having satisfaction over our abilities and our accomplishments.

Previous article: https://eduindex.org/2021/07/22/pride-prejudice-and-aggression/

Arrogance is having excessive pride over one’s or a particular group’s accomplishment to an extent wherein we believe that our abilities are nothing compared to others and the success would have come sooner if I had done it alone.

In psychological context, there are two kinds of pride. 

  • Authentic pride- Positive feeling about ourselves, loved one’s success, our actions after successfully coming out from comfort.
  • Hubristic pride- It usually involves ego coupled with arrogance. Has an exaggerated self-concept.

PRIDE

  1. Any act that boosts our self-esteem, building trust about what we are capable of, and recognizes it, accepts our flaws. It pushes you to perfect your talent and bring forth a blooming personality.
  2. You accept the potential of those working with you and try to form a group that will put in collective work to achieve your collective goal.
  3. Values other’s input and doesn’t hesitate to ask for guidance.
  4. Accepts constructive criticisms, filters their work to make it more productive.
  5. Never slacks off.
  6. Is aware of strengths, weaknesses, and areas which can be improved.
  7. Keeps striving better (Knows that knowledge is boundless).

ARROGANCE

  1. Believes that I have everything I need and that my gifts are beyond immeasurable.
  2. Believes that I have no flaws and cannot make a mistake or create complications from my actions.
  3. Every bad outcome is due to the people affiliated with my work.
  4. Looks for external validations.
  5. Thinks that there is no need to practice or attend meetings because I can win no matter in the end.
  6. Is okay to not follow moral rules (Legal ways) to achieve my needs.
  7. Other’s input is worthless (but will take others’ great ideas making it own saying you got this idea from me) and find them distracting.
  8. Works alone even though being a part of a group activity.

SELF-REFLECTION

If you need to know, whether you really are being arrogant due to impatience or intentionally or people are envious of your success, potential; self-reflecting on your actions, thoughts, and intention will help you resolve your doubts and get back on track with change in yourself or environment.

Self-reflection: Ability to witness and evaluate our own cognitive, emotional, and behavioral processes. To give an objective thought about your behaviors, thoughts, attitudes, and desires.

You work hard, burn the midnight oil, respect everyone and their opinions, and achieve success. But in the end, you get judged as an overachiever, arrogant and rude. Those judgements try to bring your down, make you doubt yourself.

 Well, let me just highlight that it is okay. These doubts usually arise because you care about how you respect not only yours but others’ effort that goes into bringing about results which is beneficial for everyone.

Look at few differences I have mentioned above and reflect.

Are you dismissive of your colleagues’ efforts? Do you assure them to implement their ideas but you end up doing completely different without informing them? Do you go late to meetings and displace your external anger on their capabilities?

Few more points to take note of:

  1. Not being honest about their work, where you want improvements, and blaming entire failure on their recklessness. (This is concerning leadership).
  2. Thinking you are superior and forcing rules obnoxiously while you try to put them down.
  3. Seeking constant validation.
  4. Yes, you have achieved great things, burnt that midnight oil but boasting about it is not going to change the outcome of your efforts. You have to keep learning and communicate and inculcate views of your colleagues to bring the best out of them and to bring about a team with the same goals and motivation.

Negative critics/members with less motivation, insecurity and less self-esteem may see you with the lens blurred with their issues.

Reach out, write a diary, and find out ways to bring out the best in you. People will usually have prejudices regarding your ethnicity, your way of leading, the cause of your goals, gender, religion, race, color, and everything that has nothing to do with you or your work but everything about themselves.

Do not give up because just like supporters exist, people against you will try to affect you. Believe in yourself, your teammates, reflect occasionally, and keep moving forward with your head held high.

Pride, prejudice and arrogance.


Augustine, it is “the love of one’s own excellence.”

Pride:

Pride is a double edged sword.

Pride is usually considered in 2 ways
1) The feeling of satisfaction that comes from one’s own achievement or those affiliated to us.
2) Having a high opinion of oneself which sometimes expresses itself in the form of arrogance or excessive belief over one’s abilities.

The opposite of pride is humility

Prejudice:


It is described as a stereotyped attitude towards a particular social group.
There are many types of prejudices. There’s ageism, sexism, racism, those from different religions and ethnic groups, people who are overweight or underweight,  people with sexual orientations and the list is endless.
It varies according to environment who are more likely to become a target. -Prejudice does not need a base or proof. It is mostly based on an individual’s delusional theory regarded someone/something because of something they went through.

-Scientific postulates need proof, trial, and error, and goes through thorough objective examination to form a theory.
It is deduced from natural occurrences to aid the growth of every being on Earth.

-Thus there is a clear boundary between prejudice and science.
Thinking that a human born into an ethnicity they had no control over, is preposterous cannot be ever justified.
Well, I mean have thought over this.
You treat them like a monster, take away the room for growth, or won’t let them have an understanding of the world, force upon them their ancestors or someone’s act, treat their every mistake or an act of love as sin.
You are letting them realize that no matter what they do, they will always be regarded as criminals. In order to live a normal life, in order to escape from Hell on Earth, they will have no option but to take actions that align with their prejudices to have a chance at life.
Aren’t you giving birth to the one you are so wary about? How will assuming negative about someone you haven’t met going to remove the things you want?


It is humane to worry about wolves in sheep’s clothing, it is natural to protect someone you love. But hatred and pride blind not only you but also others from peace, from a true safe environment.
   The mutual understanding that prejudice exists but at the same time, trying to resolve those by complete honesty and understanding will protect you from external influences ( yes, I mean someone who wants conflicts to exist between the groups), and will give the groups a chance to make way for growth despite the differences.
It is very easy for me to say and I realize how idealistic or dreamy it seems, but without interaction between conflicting groups, without a wish to make things better for innocent ones around you, the casualties, hatred, and stereotypes are bound to grow and create wars. 

When prejudice causes a group to be treated differently than others in situations that call for equal treatment, it is called discrimination.

Arrogance:


It can simply be defined as aggressive evolution of pride, and manifested in form of extreme expression emotionally (within one’s mind or vocally).  To exaggerate one’s own worth or importance often in a pompous manner.

  • Doesn’t believe they can mistakes or faults.
  • Tries to put blame on others.
  • Creates a fearful environment.
  • Always wants to be right.

We will talk about the thin line between pride and arrogance soon in following articles. 🙂

How to overcome your inner ego?

It is good to realize that you are. But increasing that feeling to such an extent that nothing else is remembered creates problems. We are unable to accept that we too can be wrong. Then we start making ourselves the centre of everything. It is not easy to stop the roots of your ego from spreading.

Have you ever wondered why some people are so bitter, or why they go out of your life without any reason? Have you ever wondered why all the wars fought in the last thousand years started? Even some wars were quite terrible. Do not know how many lives were lost in them. And have you ever thought about all the crimes that are killing millions of people? Whether at stake, friendship or war or crime, they all start from the same common source, which is, our ego. It is very difficult for us to leave it. We have to liberate ourselves from this ego in reality. But for this, the most important thing is to understand what the ego is. Why should we assume that sometimes we can be wrong? If you find answers to these questions, then believe that your life will become more enjoyable.

What is ego?

This word of three letters is like the devil sitting on our shoulder, about whom we have always been reading. This is your alternate version, which nurtures all your insecurities, fears, hatred and perception. It is the antithesis of what is right for you. It is the enemy of your heroism. It is darkness for your light.

Arrogance is, in reality, an immature, crying, and loud-shouting child. We all have it. It does not go far from us. The best way to deal with it is to try to calm it down. Doing so has also been the core of many religions, especially in the philosophies of eastern countries. However, few lucky people are able to achieve such feats as pushing the ego beyond. To be honest, to follow their path and to achieve success in today’s era, our intelligence will hardly be said. Then we have to live a life that most people will not be ready to live. Therefore, the better option is to make ourselves worthy that when the ego becomes bigger, then we can feel it ourselves and work with sincerity towards calming it down. We can move forward step by step in this work, although for this we have to make ourselves serious so that we can know what is the reason for ego ?.

When and where do you find your ego

Ego is everywhere. It is constantly expanding. Like, arrogance is the reason that you take everything personally. Due to ego, you harm the person in front of the relationship-breakdown. Because of your ego, you start bothering your car by standing in front of it even if it is difficult for some other car on the road. Due to ego, we do not accept our fault, it is due to the ego that we treat others harshly. That is why we do not like our failure or defiance. Obviously, this list of ego is quite long. Every day we have to deal with all such situations when we express our reaction in many ways. Unfortunately, in most of these cases, our ego comes in the way. Then, when the circumstances are no longer under our control or they go against us, then we immediately feel unlucky and we start blaming it on other people. It is a sick mentality, which is constantly expanding. Many other people can also take advantage of this. Nevertheless, we do not want to change this mindset.

Keep yourself disciplined

I have no objection to accepting that when I am wrong, I hate myself. I am probably the first person to believe this. Not only that, even when I am denied, I still hate. I also hate failure at one point and I like to avoid it as long as I can. I am afraid of these things because they will not make me feel good. I believe that such human feelings never cease. Some always remain. But I am also the first person in this matter, who controls his ego. Due to enough work and constant meditation on myself, I can tell the exact moment when my ego shows up.

Admit your mistake

I also know very well that when I am unable to take any specific step due to excessive fear. Is it easy to do? Can your ego be overcome by just feeling something? Sorry, this will not happen. Then I will become a resident of the Tophet, and it will be impossible to calm the beloved devil on my shoulder. I am sure you must be feeling the same way. But the first step towards atonement or solution to this problem is to accept your mistakes. I have tried to accept my shortcomings. You should also try to do the same.
At last, Say ‘Go’ to Ego.