Tag: family

What is celebrated today? 24 July 2021

National Cousins Day, Drive-Thru, Pioneer Day.

Cousin: a child of one’s uncle or aunt.

HIstory:

The history of it’s origin is quite unknown. Well, one can theorize that whoever coined this day had special bonds with their cousins.

“Cousins are people that are ready-made friends, you have laughs with them and remember good times from a young age, you have fights with them but you always know you love each other, they are a better thing than brothers and sisters and friends cause there all pieced together as one.”

– Courtney Cox

Significance:

This day is celebrated to cherish our bonds with distant to our cousin brother and sisters. When we visit our aunt or uncle’s place, we reunite with our partners in crime. We play games, create some nice nuisance for our elders, talk about our friends and foes, plan an escape to moon, pull an all-nighters, and enjoy heartily.

Be it younger or an grown up group of cousins, we have a lot to learn from each other. Soon, nostalgia about our past mistakes and fun hits us.

What to do today?

  • Get in touch with a long lost cousin.
  • Play a game of charades, ludo, scrabble or any another game available. Don’t let Covid stop you from enjoying a reunion with them. There are few online multiplayers to enjoy.
  • Share a memory you are most attached to.
  • Make plans to visit places you guys always wished to go.
  • Have a friendly competition.
  • Share your books and favorite movies.
  • Have a go and beat each other at video games or outdoor ones.
  • Share your gratitude for their existence and the love you received.

FACTS:

  1. All European Jews Are Distant Cousins.  The global population of Ashkenazi Jews, a Jewish community from Central and Eastern Europe make up a huge amount of present Jews.
  2. Research published in 2014 says close friends are likely to be fourth cousins because they might share quite lot of genetic material.
  3. Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip are third Cousins. Yes, you heard it right, the most famous married cousin couple Elizabeth and Philip are both descendants of the U.K.’s Queen Victoria.
  4. It is true that marrying your cousin can cause the baby to have birth defects.

Few other days celebrated today:

  • Pioneer Day
    • Pioneer is a person who is among the first to explore or settle a new country or area.
    • Pioneer Day has been created in order to commemorate the day the very first group of Mormon pioneers came to Salt Lake Valley.
    • It is an official state holiday in Utah
  • Drive-thru Day
    • Drive-thru is a type of take-out service provided by a business that allows customers to purchase products without leaving their cars.
    • A day to celebrate the way drive-thru made getting food easier.
  • Tell an old joke Day
    • “Knock-knock” jokes still gets attention to this day. Well, go and annoy someone with some good old jokes and use today as a good excuse.

REF:

https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/2021/07/24/

GENERATION GAP

ACCORDING TO CAMBRIDGE DICTIONARY “a situation in which older and younger people do not understand each other because of their different experiences, opinions, habits, and behaviour.”

The gap between the old and the young people is called generation gap. Old people feel that lack of respect for the elders and disrespect to the existing system of the society will bring disaster for young generation. Young boys and girls, on the other hand, feel that ‘the old are fools’. The gap between the old and the new generations is widening owing to several reasons.

First, all young people feel that the present education has no relation with the realities of life. Secondly, the present life has become busy and fast. Thirdly, the young people are generally idealistic. When they find corruption in every sphere of life, they feel disgusted. Fourthly, to express their unhappiness with the existing state of affairs, young people take to violence or behave oddly.

In order to bridge the generation gap, elders should be sympathetic towards the young. They should realise the emotion, ambition and problems of the young. The young should realise that they have no experience in life.

So, they should value the advice of the elders. The general gap between the two groups of people is so wide in the western countries that they live separately. In India the traditional joint family system has slowed the growth of this gap. But now such a family also is breaking down.

Breaking The Cycle Of Generational Trauma

We do not simply just inherit our parents’ skin complexion, eye colour, or height. We can also acquire our parents’ stories, narratives, and perspectives on life. There is a piece of them that lives on in us, whether we are conscious of it or not. While carrying on our family’s tradition is a good thing to do, there may be unaddressed tension and trauma to sift through and tidy up.

WHAT IS GENERATIONAL TRAUMA?

Generational trauma is exactly what the name implies: trauma that is passed down from one generation to the next. It can be subtle, hidden, and ambiguous, emerging via nuances and unwittingly taught or suggested throughout someone’s life from infancy onward. 

Families with a record of unresolved trauma, depression, anxiety, and addiction can pass on ineffective coping techniques and suspicious views of life to subsequent generations. In this way, one might perpetuate the same behaviours and attitudes of previous generations, even if they’re healthy.

While generational trauma can impact anybody, individuals who have suffered major kinds of abuse, abandonment, torture, discrimination, and racial inequalities are at the greatest risk. Generational trauma has been studied in relation to Holocaust survivors, the Khmer Rouge atrocities in Cambodia, the Rwandan genocide, the relocation of American Indians, and the slavery of African Americans, among other things. While the evidence on how trauma manifests itself is varied, several studies have found increased rates of anxiety, sadness, and PTSD among trauma survivors and their offspring.

Trauma can cause poverty, poor parenting, decreased bonding, psychological distress, and insecure living conditions, all of which have a significant influence on children ’s development.

WAYS IN WHICH GENERATIONAL TRAUMA CAN AFFECT FAMILIES

  1. Emotions could become a point of conflict across generations – Regardless of how the trauma is coped with, elder generations within a family set the tone for how traumatic events must be (and frequently are) dealt with. Unfortunately, the trauma is passed down through generations since those who needed assistance never received it. In some situations, the traumatised family member may even pass on bad feelings to others in the family.
  1. Trauma can have an impact on the parent-child relationship – Individuals who have not gotten assistance and support for their trauma may establish unhealthy connections with their kid or grandchild. Emotional, psychological, or verbal abuse can all be signs of an unhealthy relationship. Abuse can be sexual or physical in severe situations.
  1. Unaddressed mental issues could cause relationship conflict – It is well known that older people do not believe in seeking the assistance of mental health specialists. Members of the family suffering from mental health issues (depression, anxiety, psychotic symptoms, etc.) genuinely require assistance because untreated psychiatric symptoms can lead to more trauma and emotional instability within one’s family.
  1. Younger generations may become “satisfied” with the way things are – If avoiding and denying ,and even embracing, the trauma becomes “normal” for the family, future generations will adopt this manner of “survival” and imitate the behaviours. People who avoid, downplay, or suppress family trauma exacerbate the situation for younger family members. We learn a lot about how to cope with stressful experiences.

HOW TO HEAL FROM GENERATIONAL TRAUMA

Many people do not realize their dysfunctional behavior because they are simply applying what they have learnt in the best way they know how to.  The key to change is awareness. There can be no change unless you acknowledge that something is wrong in your family unit.

  1. The first step is to recognise the patterns. Some are much more visible than others, such as domestic violence, abuse, anxiety, and gender norms. 
  1. The second stage is to become more conscious of what causes you to fall into these established patterns. Is it shouting, contempt, feeling undervalued, physical violence, or witnessing others bully? The list could go on and on. 
  1. The third stage is to become conscious of how you respond to triggers once you are aware of them. Do you shut down, get furious, get aggressive, or yell?
  1. The fourth stage is to understand how to create constraints in such behaviors. Creating a trigger word or phrase that will assist you detect when you are following a pattern. Creating a support network in order to be held accountable. 
  1. Giving yourself love and time to heal is the fifth stage. These are behaviors which have been ingrained in us for a long time. Generational trauma doesn’t really heal in a day or a week. It takes some time.

In order to enhance these processes, enlisting the assistance of a professional is a wonderful choice. Sometimes when the trauma you experienced is so deeply ingrained in you that you need additional assistance.