The negative stigma towards ‘selfishness’ has somewhat blurred the lines between selfishness and self-preservation. These blurred lines can cause feelings of guilt and pressure to always try to be selfless. 

What if before we make a decision that others may perceive to be ‘selfish’ we check in with ourselves. Ask yourself, what is my motive behind this decision? Am I doing this because I don’t care about others and their feelings, or am I in fact putting myself first because I need to look after my own mental health and physical well-being? 

You see, the difference between selfishness and self-preservation is your motive. If you truly care about others but also understand your need to put yourself first sometimes, your making a self-preserving decision. However, if you blatantly have no regard for others and you are perhaps making decisions based purely on what suits you best, then that could be considered as a selfish decision.

Society sees being selfish as not caring about other people. As if by caring for yourself you are hurting someone else, or costing them their happiness. 

You are branded egotistical – as if you value yourself over all others. How dare you put so much value you in your own desires?

But is that such a bad thing? Who’s going to do this, if not you?

There is a trend now towards ‘self-care’ which bucks against the idea of ‘being selfish’. It calls on us to put on our oxygen mask before we help anyone else with theirs.

This can become useful if it is seen as more than taking an hour on a Sunday evening to have a hot bath and indulge in a face mask.

Instead if we see self-care as a way of accepting when it is appropriate for you and others to put yourself at the top of your own priority list. 

We often sacrifice self-care because we’re too busy trying to save everyone else. But people have to learn their own lessons in life, however painful that is. Who are you to decide that you know what is right for them? Now that is selfish, as it’s based on your own desires for them, which may not truly be in their best interests.

The way we can really help is to focus on ourselves and stop trying to run others’ lives. While we think we’re caring by “rescuing” them from unpleasant experiences in their lives, we are denying them the opportunity to face their own challenges, and grow stronger or learn a lesson from doing so.

That doesn’t mean we should never help people, but there is a difference between providing support for somebody who asks and taking it upon ourselves to save somebody and make their life turn out in a way that we think it should.

We teach people how to treat us by our own actions and attitude toward ourselves. By putting signs out there that you are a rescuer and will sacrifice yourself to help others, you attract the sort of people who want to be rescued and for whom it has to be all about them—not a balanced relationship.

Then, you have made it a self-fulfilling prophecy, by effectively bringing about what you always complain that you attract: people who take advantage of your good nature.

Self-care is essential for us all, but looks different from person to person. We are all individuals with different preferences. Listen to your inner voice to find out what makes you content. Sometimes we can’t even hear our own inner voice because we are so busy anticipating the needs of those we care about, so you might have to listen carefully at first.

Birthmarks have significance both good and bad; as a result, they are inferred both as Angel kisses and Marks of the Devil. It seems like these marks have several interpretations influenced by cultural beliefs, color, size and location on our body like every other thing around us. Some of them being extremely weird and insidious.

Where a few believe them to be lucky omens; throughout history, birthmarks were feared by superstitious, paranoid and religious fanatics.

80% of the human beings are born with random markings on their body known to be Birthmarks. These are found in different shapes and sizes, in various parts of our body.

One of the more common birthmark myth is that birthmarks on babies during birth are a reflection of either their mothers’ food consumption or food craving when pregnant.

“If you eat many strawberries during your pregnancy, your baby may be born with a strawberry mark.” – infantile haemangioma birthmark myth

These are said to be reflected in the shape and colour of the birthmark. For example, an infantile haemangioma, which is a bright red lump made up of a group of blood vessels that grow together, is often said to be a reflection of the baby’s mother eating strawberries during pregnancy.

In Japan, it is a common practice for pregnant women to be forbidden to look at fire or to look into flames. It is said that doing this will cause a “burn mark” on her baby’s skin.
Also, if a pregnant mother is startled and touches her face, the baby’s blood vessels would also get startled and all gather at the exact same spot the mother has touched, causing a vascular birthmark to form.

This is a very popular belief worldwide, particularly that birthmarks are a sign of how a person died in his or her past life before being reincarnated.
The position, shape and colour of the birthmarks are often used to connect them with fatal wounds, like sharp marks indicating stab wounds, circular marks indicating bullet shots, and flame or burn-like marks indicating death by fire.

According to Chinese culture, if you have a birthmark on your right foot, it means you are adventurous, and if it’s on your left foot, you are extremely intelligent. If you have a birthmark on your tummy, it means that you are greedy!

In the 17th to 19th centuries, birthmarks were used as proof of royal blood
Anne Boleyn, the second wife of King Henry VIII, was considered a witch because of the strawberry mark on her neck

It is believed that location of the birthmark on a child can pinpoint its different character traits. A mark on the right hand denotes success and prosperity where one on the left indicates poverty and lack. One on the abdomen signifies hunger. A birthmark on the back says that the person is open-minded.

The Iranian lore says that if a pregnant woman touches her belly during a solar eclipse, consequently her baby will be born with a birthmark.

A lot more interpretations are covering almost all the body parts, yet no one knows if these analyses hold true. These superstitions are unproven, and there still are numerous individuals with similar marks on similar locations with different traits.