Vibes are natural. They can be so easily faked by certain overly positive phrases similar to the title, that it becomes more difficult for us to experience sadness as just another part of our lives. Sadness is a valid emotional state. Let no post, quote or smiling person tell you it’s not
You see, juices too have the tag ‘Natural’ written in front of the tetra packets with a huge list of ingredients at the back. Good vibes is sold in somewhat a similar manner. ‘Good vibes only’ written in the front with tons of unsolved situations, sadness, depression, melancholy hiding behind.
But their Intentions are good,right?
Yes, just like the beauty brands which have good and pure intentions. Just like beauty brands want you to feel good and look good by using THEIR products, THEIR way and THEIR standards. Just like the whispering about how you should look to be perceived as glamourous behind the simple phrases like ‘Look good, feel good, be you’.
‘Good vibes only’ is a phrase which has become overly common on social media platforms. ‘Good Vibes’ are possible but ‘Only’ is less of a motivational advice and more of a ‘This is how you should feel’. On careful observation you will find it to be a sweet manipulation. And we buy it! So they sell it.
Just like we change ourselves little by little by falling for this fake goodness, we also remain unaware of the term called ‘mental health’. Even the well known writers were not born with good vibes pouring from them. It was their sadness, hurdles, frustrations,teenage,failures and gloomy days which had built them up.
Self Help Books promote good vibes too. What about them?
They promote good vibes while also putting forward the lesson that it cannot be achieved in a day. The writers often give a piece of their own past lifestyles while explaining the change in them or by mentioning the journey of some other renowned personality’s life. In the books it is often directly or indirectly mentioned how failures and hurdles help you understand the difference between wants and needs. Pleasure and purpose. Wrong and right. To be or to do.
The self help books are like a manual to an improved life. Sometimes our obsession to be positive makes us buy tons of self help books. But honestly, you need one, two or maximum three authors to know HOW to be positive. Such books are rather a process put forward which can help us be positive rather than a huge command asking us to BE POSTIVE straightaway.
So, we should be sad?
We should enjoy that emotion equally. In my previous article I had mentioned how you should accept your emotions. Its okay to feel how you feel. Its okay to have mental disorders. Its okay to be cynical. Its okay to be pessimist.
Feedback is necessary to improve yourselves. You get judged once, you ignore it and you may ignore it even after few more judgements regarding the same aspect of yours. But when many people will point that same aspect of yours again and again, you will know that there is indeed something wrong about it. That is how you understand where you need to improve. That is when you may start self introspection. Asking for feedback or getting unwanted feedbacks is not a pleasant experience. It never is. So what? You will cut them of? You will perceive them as someone who is jealous of you? Someone who eludes bad vibes?
In such a case you need to understand that your ‘good vibes’ is being fueled by ego. Surround yourself with people who do judge you. Sometimes you effortlessly get surrounded by such people. Sometimes, that is what even true friends do. They point it out on your face. We do need a second person’s perspective of us to know ourselves better.
Inferiority complex, depression, anxiety, panic attacks cannot be shut by putting a poster of ‘Good vibes only’ on your face. It will make you burst like an atom bomb.
Body positivity is a real good campaign but imagine, a person who is sitting and chomping on food the entire day goes around singing slogans of body positivity and shouting at anyone who advices him to live a healthier lifestyle. That is how these posts effect us.
Accept yourself the way you are. True. Indeed. But improve yourself if there is truly a necessity. Be a better version of yourself. In the above example about the food chomper, the concept of ‘Body Is A Temple’ is a rather suitable advice.
Good vibes and Empathy
Good vibes is sympathy. When someone is sharing their story and if you put motivational speech in their head, they will either feel worse or leave you with your dearest vibes. Empathy is rather assuring them that its okay to feel the way they feel. Empathy is helping them to accept their situation,emotions,thoughts and present condition while sharing your own story to them. Everyone has a story. It’s the negative which makes the positive
Good Vibes and Happiness are same, right?
You mean, is mental peace and happiness same? Yes, they are. Being at peace with yourself takes years. It is a very difficult process. We are not saints. Once you are at peace with yourself, you will feel content. Self contention.
Happiness is not smiling and going here and there to tell everyone that ‘ Hey, I am positive. Feel my Vibes’. Happiness is enjoyment. It can be in public or private. Loud or quiet. A party or a book. A diamond or just a cup of tea. It depends. Happiness is based on your perspective. When you are content with yourself, you do elude positive vibes. You do not even need to wear a ‘Good Vibes Only’ t-shirt to communicate it to others.
Good vibes are not wrong. They are never wrong. But it is not achieved by hiding your pains, ignoring them or just imprisoning them behind your teeth while you put a big smile on your face
Categories: Health, Personality and Self Help, World
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