Some of us thank our lucky stars when tragedy happens, those we cherish while we remain unharmed, while others feel guilty. “Why should I be the only one? “What could I have done differently to avoid this?” we wonder. ” These are the defining characteristics of survivor guilt, an unofficial but very real condition.

Survivor guilt occurs when a person believes they have done something wrong by surviving a catastrophic incident in which others have died or otherwise succumbed. It can take many forms, ranging from bittersweet emotions to outright sadness. It is most frequently associated with large-scale disasters (such as combat casualties or plane accidents), but it can also manifest itself in unexpected ways.

The term “survivors’ guilt,” according to experts, has its origins in the Holocaust. There are people, for example, who refuse to forget and  instead feel obliged to ‘remember’ by an inner sense of responsibility; they purposefully deny and refuse themselves any happiness in living. Some wish to erase the memories but are unable to do so.

Most psychologists agree that survivors’ guilt is not a medically diagnosable syndrome, but it appears emotionally and physically in those who survive a terrible incident; guilt has traditionally been associated with war veterans, survivors of natural disasters, catastrophes, and sicknesses.

Survivor’s Guilt often falls into one of the the three overarching themes:

1. Feeling guilty over one’s survival – When we think about survivor guilt, we usually think of this: if you were unharmed while others have been injured, you may believe you didn’t deserve to be protected and should’ve been hurt as well. You doubt the world’s fairness and justice.

2. Feeling guilty over what you could have done – You’re regretful that you didn’t go above and beyond. You should’ve known better, and you should’ve tried harder. Perhaps you attempted but failed to save someone. There’s an exaggerated feeling of disappointment or blame: “If only I’d done things differently.”

3. Feeling guilty over what you had done – You could also feel bad about something you did, such as shoving people out of the way to flee an armed gunman or abandoning your family for greater chances abroad. Alternatively, you may experience a great deal of guilt over things that happened by chance.

HOW TO COPE WITH SURVIVOR’S GUILT

1. Embrace and let yourself feel the emotions – Survivor’s guilt is a known response to trauma, even if it is not particularly rational. Embrace and allow yourself to feel the emotions that emerge. Allow yourself time to absorb the feelings of guilt, sadness, anxiety, and sadness that often come with a traumatic incident and the death of a loved one. It is critical to get treatment if these feelings become overpowering or do not become more tolerable with time.

2. Build relationships with others – Share your emotions with your loved ones. Search for an appropriate support group if loved ones are not able to comprehend your feelings. Survivors may interact with others, vent emotions, and offer advice in both face-to-face support groups and online forums.

3. Make use of mindfulness exercises – People who have experienced tragedy may benefit from mindfulness, particularly amid flashbacks or moments of strong and unpleasant emotions. Focusing on the breathing, touching close fabrics, and hearing sounds both within and outside the space are some grounding strategies to try.

4. Practicing self-care – It is terrifying and upsetting to see a loss or potential loss of life. Survivors can benefit from engaging in pleasurable activities. It is also critical for a person to get adequate sleep, maintain a well-balanced diet, and start exercising on a regular basis.

5. Do something good towards others – Survivors of traumatic incidents might feel much better if they help others in some manner.

According to studies, some individuals experiencing survivor’s guilt and other symptoms  get better without therapy during the first year of the occurrence. Yet, at least one-third of individuals will experience the symptoms for three years or more. If an individual feels they would be unable to manage on their own, or if the symptoms are getting worse or becoming persistent, then it is critical to seek help.