We all thought this was a temporary thing. But here we are. People are already calling this the “COVID era” as if they are reading about it in a history book. But we’re still going through it. For most of my friends and family, the social distancing and handwashing aren’t that bad. We got used to that stuff quickly. The tough part about this era is that life has changed permanently for many folks. 

Rifts are created between people with different beliefs on wearing a mask. Complete industries are swept away and will probably never be the same. The world has truly changed. In this article, I’m sharing certain lessons I’ve learned from observing all these changes. Hopefully, these short reminders will make life during this era easier for all of us.

1. It’s hard on everybody
   I know your life is hard. But so is the life of your neighbor. That puts us all in the same boat. So go easy on yourself and others.
2. Nothing is forever
   It seems like this will last forever. But everything dies. And so will pandemics.
3. Accept it as if you chose this
   This is the only form of useful lying in the world. Trick yourself into believing you wanted a more tranquil and solitary life.Simply accept everything that’s outside of your control as something you wanted. Life will be a lot rosier.
4. Make the best of your time
   Accepting circumstances doesn’t mean we give up. Make the best of it. To be clear: Worrying and thinking about stuff that’s outside of your control is NOT a good use of your time.
5. Take a breather
   Literally. Take a moment for yourself and breeeeath…. Aaaah. Yes, that’s the feeling.
6. Exercise every day
   Stay in shape. If you’re not injured or ill, it’s your duty to take care of your body. Never take this lightly. 
7. Get off social media
   It’s a waste of your time. “Always?” Pretty much.
8. Read books
   This is a better use of your time. We all have reading lists with hundreds of books on them. And we’re not going to live 200 years. That means you need to make some tough choices. Which books will you read before you die?
9. Learn new skills
   Technology is improving and changing so fast that we’re not aware what’s going on. We just learn it after the fact. But that’s too late. So stay on top of your field and keep learning new skills you need to do good work.
10. Keep a daily journal
    This will probably be one of the weirdest times of our lives. Don’t you want to document this? Even if you never read it again, it’s still worth writing because it makes you a better thinker. 
11. Inspiration comes from within
    “I need to go to Paris for inspiration.” Replace Paris with any city or place in the world. Why do we think inspiration comes from the outside? Look inside!
12. Good food improves your mood
    One of the few pleasures that you never get used to. Research new recipes, be creative, and cook food that makes you go, “Hmmmmnn.”
13. Objects will not make you happy -I had to tell myself that after a few too many useless purchases.
14. More money is not the answer
    Look, I’m not going to lie. Having a little bit of money will lighten the load. So start that online business or side-gig you’ve been thinking about. But don’t expect that money will make you happy. It just solves your money problems. Nothing else.
15. Do work you enjoy
    Just because you need to survive, don’t say yes to the first available job you encounter. And also don’t start some kind of soulless online business so you can make a few bucks. Find something you enjoy and pays the bills. 
16. Appreciate what you have
    The grass is always greener. We tend to forget. So here’s a reminder: If you’re reading this on your smartphone in the comfort of your house, your life isn’t so bad. 
17. Give back
    Do something altruistic. Talk to your elderly neighbors, hold the door for someone, share your hard-earned lessons with others. Small things that have a positive impact on people.
18. Change is good
    This is a difficult period if your industry got swept away. But remember, change is a part of life. And in the long-term, it’s good. We just don’t see the sunshine when we’re going through a storm. 
19. Stop consuming—Start creating -The world never changed for the better by doing nothing. Right now, our biggest challenge is paralysis by consumption. We’re over-consuming everything: News, food, clothes, entertainment, you name it.

To get through this era, we need more action. So stop sitting there and go create something. Without creation, there’s no progress.

Why do we wait for something big and devastating to happen that opens our up eyes for issues that are serious and should be taken care of ?

Recently with the famous actor Shushant Singh Rajput passing away, as he committed suicide shook the whole nation about how a person who was so happy, excelling in his career, what made him take such a step? Suddenly I see whole of the social media getting flooded with things on mental illness, depression , anxiety , importance of it and so on .….

This issue isn’t something new that has born recently. It has always been a serious issue which all of us in some way or the other have neglected. There are plenty of people out there who have, and who are still suffering from mental disorders severely and some acutely. Mental health is something we all need to take care of.

MENTAL ILLNESS AND DEPRESSION

Clinical depression has been linked to other mental illnesses, such as anxiety disorders, panic disorder, social phobia, and generalized anxiety disorder.

MY EPIPHANY…

Depression is debilitating.

Some people acknowledge it, some think it’s an attention call. For me, depression is like that bundle of laundry that you don’t want to show in your Instagram pictures. I never want to show my heap of laundry to the world, I want my life to seem content and put together, as if I folded and put away all my laundry right out of the dryer.

Depression can be the hardest when others just don’t understand you. Never ask anybody how they can be so sad that they could contemplate suicide. Because honestly most of the people in that situition don’t know. How did they make it to this moment? What did they do to deserve this sorrow?

Nobody really knows how to explain depression to someone. It’s so different for everyone and comes in so many different forms. Some people explains their depression as a weight that holds them down. Others describe it as a shadow that looms in the back of their mind, always taunting and trying to tear them down and then sometimes, depression is described like they are sinking. It’s like dabbling in an ocean of poison and barely catching your breath before you’re dragged back under. I don’t think people understand that depression is persistent. Some days it doesn’t feel as burdensome, it doesn’t tug and pull as hard. And other days, it knocks you down before you can even get out of bed.

I am always fighting this constant battle with myself past many years .. Yes! Me I may smile and laugh and seem happy, but know that, somewhere, in the back of my mind I’m struggling. It makes me feel like a failure, no matter what my successes. I feel worthless and like I’m a burden on everyone around me. After entering my teenage years till now I’ve been aggressive, argumentative used to reacting quickly on situations without understanding them, used to getting upset on small little things and have been called dramatic. It has become one of my biggest triggers, because most of my life I haven’t had that fight to defend it.

I get sad without any reason so often that I’ve created safe spaces. Currently, my safe place is my bathroom floor. Probably about at least 1 time in a month you can find me locked in my bathroom on the floor, crying. The lock on that door is the only form of power I feel I have when I feel everything is parting away.
Many times I have found myself on that bathroom floor contemplating life and how to make it past that very moment, will I? I have to say how thankful I am that I haven’t followed through. Life is so hard. Sprinkle on some depression, heck, dump it on – and life is now even more hard. Sometimes the low gets so low that it seems to take over, overwhelming you in a way that you could not have imagined beforehand.

Dressed from Penny to Gucci it’s a misconception that smile is the finishing touch to most outfits.We all give off the impressions that we are happy but this can be a very inaccurate representation of what we are actually experiencing.
People always say you should talk to someone, tell someone,but how do you put words on something so hard to even understand yourself? How do u explain someone that u want to live your life in peace but also you don’t know how you can? How do u explain that this no longer feels like a choice, that it controls you not the other way around.

Of course we are encouraged to TALK more these days but some of us including me wont even know where to start. some of us will Feel like we don’t have anyone to talk to and others will simply be sick of talking. Sometimes we do so much talking and thinking about whats going in our heads that we get even more confused by our own thoughts. This often leads us to say ‘ENOUGH’ and once again putting back on the brave face and deluding smile. By this we fail to get to the roots of our suffering. I am guilty of smiling so many times when I am actually freaking out from inside.
Why is it so hard to accept our own sufferings ? Well its not facile to accept your suffering because of thoughts in your head and ultimately your ego believes that you shouldn’t be suffering. That makes suffering and challenges we experience in life so much more daunting, arduous and scary.

Depression doesn’t have a face. you never know who is the girl around you always happy and cheerful must be struggling from inside or the boy who shows himself so tough maybe he needs someone to listen to him or be there for him. Nobody really knows how much the other person is hurt. We could really be beside someone who’s world is falling apart and we wouldn’t even know.

THE BIGGEST MISCONCEPTION OF THOSE WHO ARE SUICIDAL

People who believe those are suicidal are selfish- that they only think about themselves and not their loved ones. This is wrong ….. often those who are suicidal truly believe their loved are better off without them because they are such a burden.

Ergo, its important to be kind and tell others how much they mean to you even on their bad days. Often, people tend to not give enough importance to the person who’s suffering from mental issues and rather than giving a smile or telling the person that ‘they understand’, ‘they’re listening’ and that ‘they are there for the person’ they slightly bob their head, as if they understood yet they don’t.

There are people who often say that we can talk to them and they are always there, but when the time comes and we actually need help , they tell us to help our selves or often come to the conclusion that ‘we are in the problem because of our own wrong doings’.This far more worsens the situation for the person going through it. We are nobody to judge which  problem is big or small because we all are different and feel different emotions.

I HOPE YOU CHECK UP ON PEOPLE OFTEN EVEN IF THEY HAVE A BRIGHT SMILE, BECAUSE OFTEN BEHIND THAT BRIGHT SMILE THEY MIGHT BE FIGHTING THEIR OWN HIDDEN BATTLES.

Whenever someone says you have hurt them, don’t shut them out. You don’t get to decide if u have hurt them or not. Don’t make them feel like a fool for expressing their feelings. Don’t always be self-righteous and think you can never make a mistake. If knowingly or unknowingly your actions hurt someone, avoid doing it. You can save someone just by being kind and being there for them.

WHAT TO SAY :

• You are not alone in this
• You are important to me
• You have me! And prove them not just saying it for heck of saying
• I am not going to leave in your tough times
• Tell them you care for them and what worth they hold
• Tell them you understand ( only if you really do)
• Assure them they are not weak or defective
• Emphasize that there’s hope

It’s possible that you can say all the “correct” things and your friend will still become upset with you. Each individual have their own unique thoughts and feelings, and being irritated and upset is the nature of depression. Sometimes people will take it out on those trying to help them because they are hurting and don’t know where to direct those bad feelings. Whoever is nearby becomes a convenient target. If this happens, try not to take it personally. Stay serene and continue to do what you can to love and support your friend in whatever way they will allow.

WHAT NOT TO SAY :

Avoid saying such phrases

• Don’t think about it
• Be positive
• I know how you feel – never say this because nobody really knows how the other person feels or is going through
• Count your blessings
• Your mood is bringing everyone down around you
• Just smile and let it go
• Its all in your head
• No one ever said life was fair

A mind which is not stable. When there lots of thoughts keep running in your mind and cannot find any answer to the question. Then, that is called a restless mind. Basically, it is nothing more then a mind that is always insecure about there decision.

Hey there, today I’m going to talk about the most ignored problem of the time. People think it is mind, so, it doesn’t need to be settled. It should be running all the time. Yeah! I don’t totally disagree with them but there should be some limitations for self. Just like excessive use of something is always harmful.

Like for an example, when you want something to happen, you also think about or guess the consequences that might happen, if things doesn’t happen in the same way you thought. And now you are stuck. Whatever you do, you will be having a backup thought about every thing. Like, I’m having a thought for writing this and on the same time I’m questioning myself “Am I writing correctly”.

Many says that this is over thinking. Then let me just tell you something, even planning is also an over thinking or deciding anything is over thinking because, then why you have to decide, when everything is already been decided, right?.  And now a days over thinking is not discussed as a problem, it is shifted or got dragged into “Being cool” stuffs. Like if you throw a stone on anyone in a crowd, hey/she will say they do over thinking. Come on its not over thinking, it is the only way our mind works. Like when you go for a trip you think about the pros and cons and the ways of dealing them. Where to stay, where to eat, where to roam, before packing your stuff. So, what is that, over thinking or planning? For some of you it may be a planning but for other or for most of them it is over thinking and they are fed up with.

But, a restless mind is all about that mind who not think about the consequences because of Being to restless to decide. Yeah! This brings the problem of anxiety, self doubting, creating chaos outside, unhappiness and many more. And there can be a lot of problems for that, but, for now it’s your mobile, probably on which you are reading this. Now, it is more then a source of entertainment for you. You literally depend on it. Like, if you got your mood off you want songs or videos to deal with it.

So, how can we deal with it? What can be best measure for it? Frankly, I don’t know. I’m also finding an answer for it. I just wanted to raise a question infront of you, just to make you aware that there are these questions which needs to answered.

Although, Everybody has there different answer, but, every answers will come to same place. Like, for me is staying away from social media for a bit everyday. I need this to be in my habit so that I can focus on my decision or restlessness.

Tell me your ways to deal with this in the comment section below. Till then have a great day and try to think about it, seriously.

In a time where everyone considered life as a race, everything is treated as a rival, and everything has a price tag, when profits come first and the reality comes second, we fail to pause, smile, and enjoy the moments and experience the joy. What are we missing to have a happier life, just as we’ve always dreamed of? What’s it going to take to be happy?

We all expect to be loved, to be cared for, to be noticed, to be appreciated, to have the good that we give to others. But, are you in love with yourself? Do you think you should ask someone else to love you if you don’t love you yourself?
This is where we go with self-love and body positivity. This culture will make us mad sometimes, try to change us, bind us, before we get better than shapeshifters. We have a duty to defend ourselves, we have a right to be happy. However, the concept of self-love and body positivity is under misconception.

Self-love doesn’t mean to dream about expensive things and luxury, and body positivity certainly doesn’t mean that we don’t care how we look. Through self-love and body positivity hand in hand, you will cultivate your life and mend your mind to a positive lifestyle. In the same way, the significance and value of these definitions should be fully grasped.

Self-love can begin by challenging yourself and looking for answers inside yourself. Speak to yourself, understand what you want, treat yourself like you deserve to be viewed, fill yourself with good feelings, praise yourself, sing a song about yourself, engage yourself with what makes you happy, meet positive people, do things that can motivate you to become a happier person.

Body positivity should begin by respecting what you are, how you look, and being able to take good care of the outside. If you’re short or tall, fair or dusty, lanky or chubby, you can be stunning. Don’t ignore your look in the name of body positivity, the true idea of this should be to express how amazing you are for your individuality. Activities that can help improve the body’s balance with your consciousness, dance, exercise, swim, there are a couple. Making sure you dress up for yourself, so that you can feel confident and relaxed with how you look.

Proper self-love and body positivity would certainly make us better off both internally and externally.

Beauty comes in all shades, shapes and sizes.

I know you must be thinking about abortion or something related to parenting thing, but, no. Don’t get yourself wrong, as we say “Don’t judge a book by its cover” the same applies here, don’t judge a blog by its title. Then why title is there, huh!

Hello fellows, don’t be so rude that I called you a fellow. I called you because you didn’t even tried to think what title is saying about. There’s a kid in every one, in every gender, in every person. Some of them just forgot about it like time forces them to forget. No! Time always take test, but, how to pass it and how to live after passing the test is always on you. You planned to forget that kid for sake of your future. So, did you got that future?? I guess not, then atleast have one thing for life time.

You are also aware of it that keep the child alive will always keep you interesting, creative and more importantly happy. And do you know why I added happy in the last, because that’s true. Happiness comes from the mysterious ways. And a child can only enjoy that other wise you may have seen an adult asking questions from where this happiness arrived.

There’s one more reason why I ask you keep that child alive, it is because I personally think that child represent your whole life. That child remains in you from starting till end of your life. No Matter how hard your life gets or how strong you become, if you couldn’t save that kid inside you. You technically failed in this life.

So, think and start saving that child inside you.

Whether you like them or not, New Year’s resolutions are great to create a positive change in your life.

Maybe you always wanted to start a business, read a book a week, get a six-pack, or meditate more. The start of every year is the perfect opportunity to hit the reset button and do things differently.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean New Year’s resolutions are bad. It means that most of us don’t know how to successfully keep our resolutions.

Everybody can set goals. But a small percentage of people actually perseveres and achieves their goals. Steve Jobs believed that people achieve their goals because they didn’t quit. 

The “Secret”

You and I both know there are no such things as secrets when it comes to personal success. Every piece of new advice you hear has been said before. The real secret lies in how well you execute the advice.

Because here’s the secret to successful New Year’s resolutions: Don’t talk about your resolutions until you’ve made them happen.

You see? There’s nothing new about the idea that we should not talk about our goals as it decreases the chances of achieving them.

But how well have you executed that advice? If you’re like most of us, the answer is probably something like, “I didn’t talk about my goals for a week. But I HAD to tell my BFF about it!”

Look, when I say don’t talk about your New Year’s resolutions, I’m dead serious. Like, “don’t even tell your spouse what you’re doing” serious.

Also don’t tell your brother, mother, father, best friend, or even a stranger. Only tell others about what you’ve done after you actually did it or formed the habit.

Why? Here are 4 reasons:

1. You’re More Likely To Succeed

Research says that it takes 66 days on average to form a new habit. But you probably won’t get past day three if you tell everyone about your resolutions.

We all know how these things go. “You?! Do you really want to quit smoking again?” Even though our friends and family don’t mean to discourage us, they often do with their remarks.

I can tell you to stop caring about what others think — which is good advice. But you know what’s better? Don’t give people a chance to say anything. In fact, research even backs this up.

Studies show that people who talked about their goals actually spent less time pursuing their goals than the people who didn’t talk.

Keep your goals and resolutions to yourself. There will be no comments from others. And there will also be no distractions. That gives you more time and energy to focus on your actions.

2. No Waste Of Time And Energy

Every minute you spend talking about doing something is a waste of precious time. I take this very seriously You might think that a few minutes talking about your goals won’t do any harm. But you’re wrong.

You’re wasting the two most important resources you have. Both time and energy should be treated with care.

Plus, who are you doing all this for? Do you want to lose weight to impress others? Or read more just because some blogger told you so?

Don’t fool yourself. None of that shit should matter to you. The only drive that’s sustainable is an internal one. You do things for yourself and the people who truly matter in your life.

3. More Anticipation

For me, this is the most important thing. When you set a goal or trying to form a new habit, it’s much better to talk about it in the past tense.

Instead, I looked forward to telling my friends that I actually did it. Now, my initial plan was to not talk about my resolution for a whole year. But after four to five months, I felt that the habit was ingrained in my system enough that I felt comfortable talking about it more.

And that’s how I do everything. I don’t say that I’m writing a book unless I’m almost done. Because, what’s the point? No one is going to help you write your book, lose weight, quit smoking, read a book, get your degree, and so forth. You have to do those things.

If you want to talk to someone, I recommend talking to yourself in your journal. If you don’t know how to journal.

4. You Put An Emphasis On Action

Let’s face it. Doing something is better than saying you’re going to do something. No one can argue with that.

We all know that nothing will ever happen without action. But what we don’t know is how important motivation and inspiration is in our life.

Every single person in life needs a reason to change. And sure, it has to come from within. But you also need outside inspiration — a kick in the ass to get started.

New Year’s resolutions are just that. Instead of saying that you don’t need resolutions, use them (just don’t talk about it). Improve your life.

And if you do it right, you’ll be the one who’s laughing in 12 months from now —not the idiots who mock New Year’s resolutions.

Finally, Here Are A Few Practical Tips To Make Your Resolutions Stick Even Better

1. Keep it small — If you want to start a business, you’re probably not going to make a million bucks in the first year. It’s not about setting low goals. It’s about thinking big and acting small. You’ll achieve those big goals in time.
2. Measure Your Progress — If you don’t measure your progress, it’s safe to say that you are not making any. Find a relevant measure and record it every single day. Yes, every day. If you want to change, you better be serious about it.
3. Be Accountable To Yourself — We’ve all heard about the accountability partners, etc. I’ve experimented with it too. But I think that one of the most important skills you can learn in life is to be self-reliant. To see this as an exercise to improve your sense of accountability. To do that, you need a real reason to change. Maybe you want to buy your parents a big house, play soccer with your kids, or travel the world. It must be something bigger than you.

Anyone who’s serious about changing something about their life can do it. It doesn’t matter if you failed in the past. Maybe you handle it wrong. What matters is that go for it now.

The English idiom “don’t judge a book by its cover” is a figurative phrase which means “you shouldn’t judge significance of something by its outward appearance only”.

It is easier and faster to look at the instantaneous outer features of an object or a person. Many cannot deal with the troubling feeling of doubt (fear) when conversing with a stranger so to make it less challenging for themselves, they put a label on their new associate and act accordingly.

For example, you see a good-looking person and a bad-looking person. You know nothing about them except their skin colour, their physical traits and fashion. Then what? You make all sorts of thoughts and make a massive data in a minute just taking a look of their outward appearance. You may get attracted to the good-looking one but that could be a disaster for your life. He/she may not possess any real ability or talent. He/she can even turn out to be corrupt too. Outward appearance can be greatly misleading. There are utterly valueless things that look so good and taking them on their face value is foolishness.

Many people feel that you can tell a lot about a person by observing what they wear and what they eat. This is not the case. Choice of clothing and eating habits, in no way, allow you to pass judgment on a person. Judging people based on these factors is extremely shallow. What one wears and eats in no way depicts character, behavior, or even intelligence. One simply cannot know a person by looking at them and observing what they eat. Such a thought is ridiculous.Instead of looking at clothing and what one is eating, character should be the basis for opinion. Judging a book by the cover only leads to surprises, and in this case, judging a human by dress can lead to surprises as well.

This quote means a lot to me because when I had cancer and my physical appearance changes people judged my looks and thought horrible things about me. For example many who see a rough looking, skinny woman on the streets, who is really boney, may think she’s on drugs. There could be so many reasons why she looks like that.

You can not judge a book from the cover, but you can judge the website from its design. Before going into features and ease of use, people tend to evaluate and judge products and web sites early on the basis of appearance. The following design trend is necessary to make the product fresh and attractive. But is the design trend a panacea? Our designers know that the next design trend is an important part of our work, but we should not blindly use them. Not all situations are useful, useful, or applicable in all situations. Even a good trend may get worse and you may hurt the user experience. This is the reason we have to carefully use them, filter them and adjust them when necessary.We all know that you can not judge a book through its cover, but a good cover certainly will not hurt you. Like a wonderful hardcover book, we will give you a beautiful cover image to set the atmosphere of your photo gallery in your gallery. This cover image will add shine to the top of your gallery and welcome your visitors showing a full range of shine. The cover image fits seamlessly over the galleries, titles, descriptions, buttons (for purchase, slide, download), and all the navigation links displayed at the top of the photo. Since we do not want the cover image to cover all the stunning gallery pictures, we are very big so your gallery gets an amazing introduction they deserve without hiding the pictures under them Designed.I can not judge a book through the front cover, or I can not judge a book through the front cover. That is, you should not judge someone or something according to the appearance or the original appearance. If he loves her, I will be happy to them. You can not judge a book through the cover page. We may say that we do not believe in judging books through the cover, but according to the survey we have done it over and over again.

There is an old idiomatic phrase “Please do not judge a book on the cover.” This is a figurative phrase, “Do not prejudice something’s value or value by just looking.” Determining a book is probably one of the most exploited idioms, but it is certainly not the most commonly used. We do not deliberately dig down the surface, we live in a very superficial society where it is easy to see the surface. It is very troublesome to change this. In order to deeply consider one person, one thing, or one idea, people must maintain strict self-justification and ignore many prejudices.In many cases, our perception of others is greatly influenced by the appearance. Do not judge books on the front page – this is a sentence that everyone should have heard at least once in life. As people who are constantly judged and judged, we need to remember that everything is in a state of change. Therefore, assumptions and judgments increase the complexity of life. It is always a good idea to remove the colour lens.They said, “Do not judge a book on the cover.” Unfortunately, that did not happen. Until you get better you can judge each book with thumbnails and thumbnails of each video. In addition to throwing out part of the video thumbnails, viewers tend to judge the quality of the video through it. You should always avoid confusion and excessive text on thumbnails.

Instead of looking at clothing and what one is eating, character should be the basis for opinion. Judging a book by the cover only leads to surprises, and in this case, judging a human by dress can lead to surprises as well. Just because a man or woman may not dress as nicely, they’re not necessarily bad or even poor. The particular individual may not care what anyone thinks. They may dress a certain way just so people will pass judgment on them, some may just want the attention. This is often the case. One’s appearance can lead to many false judgments. By saying someone is a bum because of what they eat or wear shows total ignorance. If a person did nothing to better their situation, they can be considered bums.

The blacks had no say whatsoever in any of the events that held place in Maycomb, the main town mentioned in the book. In this book, one of the main characters, Atticus Finch, a noble gentleman, teaches his children, Scout and Jem the importance of not being prejudice, and that there should not be any differences between the whites and blacks. He teaches his children to be understanding, and to look at things from different people’s point of view, and to put themselves into other’s shoes. Despite his sister, Alexandra, being one of the most prejudice ladies in Maycomb, he ignores what everyone says of him, and sticks to his views believing that all whites and blacks should be equal. As a lawyer, he faces a stage where he has to defend Tom Robinson, a black man being accused of raping a white. Despite other’s views that he should not take this case seriously, he puts in all his effort into defending Tom Robinson, although he is aware that the chances of winning was zero.

The ultimate productivity hack is saying no.

Not doing something will always be faster than doing it. This statement reminds me of the old computer programming saying, “Remember that there is no code faster than no code.”

The same philosophy applies in other areas of life. For example, there is no meeting that goes faster than not having a meeting at all.

This is not to say you should never attend another meeting, but the truth is that we say yes to many things we don’t actually want to do. There are many meetings held that don’t need to be held. There is a lot of code written that could be deleted.

How often do people ask you to do something and you just reply, “Sure thing.” Three days later, you’re overwhelmed by how much is on your to-do list. We become frustrated by our obligations even though we were the ones who said yes to them in the first place.

It’s worth asking if things are necessary. Many of them are not, and a simple “no” will be more productive than whatever work the most efficient person can muster.

But if the benefits of saying no are so obvious, then why do we say yes so often?

Why We Say Yes

We agree to many requests not because we want to do them, but because we don’t want to be seen as rude, arrogant, or unhelpful. Often, you have to consider saying no to someone you will interact with again in the future—your co-worker, your spouse, your family and friends.

Saying no to these people can be particularly difficult because we like them and want to support them. (Not to mention, we often need their help too.) Collaborating with others is an important element of life. The thought of straining the relationship outweighs the commitment of our time and energy.

For this reason, it can be helpful to be gracious in your response. Do whatever favors you can, and be warm-hearted and direct when you have to say no.

But even after we have accounted for these social considerations, many of us still seem to do a poor job of managing the tradeoff between yes and no. We find ourselves over-committed to things that don’t meaningfully improve or support those around us, and certainly don’t improve our own lives.

Perhaps one issue is how we think about the meaning of yes and no.

The Difference Between Yes and No

The words “yes” and “no” get used in comparison to each other so often that it feels like they carry equal weight in conversation. In reality, they are not just opposite in meaning, but of entirely different magnitudes in commitment.

When you say no, you are only saying no to one option. When you say yes, you are saying no to every other option.

I like how the economist Tim Harford put it, “Every time we say yes to a request, we are also saying no to anything else we might accomplish with the time.” Once you have committed to something, you have already decided how that future block of time will be spent.

In other words, saying no saves you time in the future. Saying yes costs you time in the future. No is a form of time credit. You retain the ability to spend your future time however you want. Yes is a form of time debt. You have to pay back your commitment at some point.

No is a decision. Yes is a responsibility.

The Role of No

Saying no is sometimes seen as a luxury that only those in power can afford. And it is true: turning down opportunities is easier when you can fall back on the safety net provided by power, money, and authority. But it is also true that saying no is not merely a privilege reserved for the successful among us. It is also a strategy that can help you become successful.

Saying no is an important skill to develop at any stage of your career because it retains the most important asset in life: your time. As the investor Pedro Sorrentino put it, “If you don’t guard your time, people will steal it from you.”

You need to say no to whatever isn’t leading you toward your goals. You need to say no to distractions. As one reader told me, “If you broaden the definition as to how you apply no, it actually is the only productivity hack (as you ultimately say no to any distraction in order to be productive).”

Nobody embodied this idea better than Steve Jobs, who said, “People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.”

There is an important balance to strike here. Saying no doesn’t mean you’ll never do anything interesting or innovative or spontaneous. It just means that you say yes in a focused way. Once you have knocked out the distractions, it can make sense to say yes to any opportunity that could potentially move you in the right direction. You may have to try many things to discover what works and what you enjoy. This period of exploration can be particularly important at the beginning of a project, job, or career.

Upgrading Your No

Over time, as you continue to improve and succeed, your strategy needs to change.

The opportunity cost of your time increases as you become more successful. At first, you just eliminate the obvious distractions and explore the rest. As your skills improve and you learn to separate what works from what doesn’t, you have to continually increase your threshold for saying yes.

You still need to say no to distractions, but you also need to learn to say no to opportunities that were previously good uses of time, so you can make space for great uses of time. It’s a good problem to have, but it can be a tough skill to master.

In other words, you have to upgrade your “no’s” over time.

Upgrading your no doesn’t mean you’ll never say yes. It just means you default to saying no and only say yes when it really makes sense. To quote the investor Brent Beshore, “Saying no is so powerful because it preserves the opportunity to say yes.”

The general trend seems to be something like this: If you can learn to say no to bad distractions, then eventually you’ll earn the right to say no to good opportunities.

How to Say No

Most of us are probably too quick to say yes and too slow to say no. It’s worth asking yourself where you fall on that spectrum.

If you have trouble saying no, you may find the following strategy by the British economist I mentioned earlier, to be helpful. He writes, “One trick is to ask, “If I had to do this today, would I agree to it?” It’s not a bad rule of thumb, since any future commitment, no matter how far away it might be, will eventually become an imminent problem.”

If an opportunity is exciting enough to drop whatever you’re doing right now, then it’s a yes. If it’s not, then perhaps you should think twice.

This is similar to the well-known “Hell Yeah or No” method from Derek Sivers. If someone asks you to do something and your first reaction is “Hell Yeah!”, then do it. If it doesn’t excite you, then say no.

It’s impossible to remember to ask yourself these questions each time you face a decision, but it’s still a useful exercise to revisit from time to time. Saying no can be difficult, but it is often easier than the alternative. As writer Mike Dariano has pointed out, “It’s easier to avoid commitments than get out of commitments. Saying no keeps you toward the easier end of this spectrum.”

What is true about health is also true about productivity: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

The Power of No

More effort is wasted doing things that don’t matter than is wasted doing things inefficiently. And if that is the case, elimination is a more useful skill than optimization.

I am reminded of the famous Peter Drucker quote, “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”

Being a social animal, it becomes extremely important for humans to follow certain specific rules and societal duties. There is no person in this world who knows everything. Whoever we meet, we get to learn something from the person we meet. We must respect the attitude and viewpoint of other people in every way. We must always keep our minds open to listen to other people and understand them.

But it is not at all like we to be slaves to the reaction of others, their opinions or thoughts. Modern psychology emphasizes that one should try to establish a healthy image of himself/herself, to relate to him or her. Ask yourself – should your image be according to the choice of others.

Should it be according to what other people say? Should it be what other people expect? Will you make the rules of your life according to other people? Will other people determine what you will wear, what you will eat, how to dress? Such a life can be unbearable for any person. Many people are constantly under pressure to determine and identify their self-image.

What will the neighbours think if I go to work? What would people say if I did not give a party? What would my acquaintances say if I did not marry my daughter to a luxurious wedding? And this cycle goes on continuously. When you ask these questions what people will say, then my answer will always be that you should not be worried about what other people will say.

Let them say. But it should not be at all that anything they say bothers you. What people will say does not matter at all. It only matters what you do. You should only do your duty.

What they say, Let them just say.

To each one of us, our childhood holds a jar of memories. Savouring over our favourite delicacies, playing for hours under the sun with friends, sharing tiffins at school & are some of the common memories that each one of us holds. But something common to all of us is the animated series of the late ’90s or early ’20s. I bet they are still a part of you, embedded deep in your heart, probably forgotten. 

 From being a couch potato watching cartoons all day long to binging Netflix on weekends we all grew up. So let’s turn the clock back as we go down the lane to revisit childhood, with these top 12 cartoons hand-picked just for you :

1] Tom & Jerry: This American animated series was created in 1940. It is named after its two main characters; a blue-grey cat named Tom who gets into comedic fights or chases the brown homed mouse called Jerry. Each episode shows the two characters which they often get hurt ridiculously. 

 2] Flinstones: This show is set in the pre-historic times in the town of Bedrock. Living beings of the past, dinosaurs, and other long-extinct animals co-exist with cavemen, saber-toothed cats, and woolly mammoths. Also, these characters use Stone Age technologies, & their lives resemble the lives of 20th century urban America.

3] Richie Rich: A rich kid named Richie who used to deal with threats to the Rich family, more specifically Richie. Some segments for humor with Dollar and Cadbury. Also, his friends fighting master criminals, aliens, and other threats to the world.

 4] Baby Looney Toons: Baby versions of Looney tunes characters Bugs, Daffy, Lola, Taz, Sylvester, Tweety, Petunia & Melissa living with granny.

5] Popeye The Sailorman: Guess the intro song’s still embedded in our head. As everyone has heard of Popeye, the sailor who eats spinach and gets stronger. There exists a love triangle among Popeye, Olive, and Bluto. And Bluto’s endless schemes to claim Olive at Popeye’s expense. Popeye holds his near-saintly perseverance in overcoming any obstacle to please Olive, who often renounces Popeye for Bluto.

6] Scooby Doo: Scooby and gang use their intelligence other detective instincts to uncover mysteries that appear to be supernatural initially but later reveal having a person behind all these things thus lending a logic to the situations.

7] The Powerpuff Girls: Probably the first and one of the only TV shows of the time that begun teaching us about feminism. Bubbles, Buttercup, and Blossom were cute little girls who were fierce warriors.

8] The Jungle Book: Movies like ‘The Jungle Book’ & ‘Lion King’ are an extension of this series. Based on the Rudyard Kipling book, here you see how a boy called Mogli grows up in a jungle fighting through the hardships. Despite not being an animal, he grows up with a pack of wolves while doing ridiculous things with Baloo and training with Bagheera.

9] Dragon tales: It is impossible to forget this sentence, those bunch of dragons called always managed to make us smile. Emmy & Max find a magical place called Dragonland where they are transported using magical crystals where they face challenges with dragon Ord, Cassie, Zak, Wheezie & Quetzal.

10] Pokemon: As Ash Ketchum turns 10, he desires to start his journey as a Pokemon trainer with the dream of being a Pokemon master in the long run. But having overslept, he rushes to Professor Oak to realize that the only Pokemon left for him to have is a Pikachu, an electric pokemon. Finally, Ash & Pikachu, embark on their journey together while befriending two travel mates Misty & Brock. Along the journey, they make a lot many both human and pokemon friends.