Abusing is something which is injurious, harmful or offensive to a person, animal or environment. Abuse is mainly of three types- Social, domestic and sexual violences.
Social abuse is something that prevents a person from keeping contact with friends, relatives.
Sexual abuse is the harrasment that is experienced sexually. Sexual harassment includes molestation, abusive sexual behaviour by one person upon another. Any sexual behaviour done by one person without another person’s consent is molestation. Trying to have sexual contact against another person’s consent is rape. (Woman rapes a man )- this percentage is much more than (man rapes a woman).
Domestic Violence is the torture a person face mentally, physically, psychologically, emotionally etc.
The most common abuse a person face nowadays are sexual harassment and domestic violence. Domestic violence is a crime but the laws vary between jurisdiction for men and women.
Domestic Violence Against Men:-
Domestic violence occurs when a family member, partner or ex-partner dominates the other one mentally, physically or psychologically.In maximum cases the victim is ashamed or afraid of further abuse.For this reason they don’t report the abuse. Domestic Violence has different ways of occurrence but the effects are always negative.
We all know as standard “man” is the abuser and woman is “abused”. There are many men who are suffering from domestic violence emotionally and physically from their partner. Domestic violence against men remains unrecognised in most cases since men are scared of embarrassment, lack support. Due to these stereotypical male images, men don’t have the courage to file a report against domestic violence. Society is aware of male victims but treats him as a joke thus making him feel insecure, ridiculous and embarrassed.
There are certain myths regarding violence. We always expect men to take all the responsibilities of their actions. When a female is violent society has lots of excuses to support the woman like postnatal depression, mood swings, stress etc but when a man gives the same excuse we do not accept it even if he is really suffering from depression and stress.
When a woman is violent we don’t say she is a bad mother but when the same thing happens with a man we automatically assume him to be a bad parent. If a man is a victim of domestic violence , during the separation with his partner the woman gets the legal custody of their children. The man is left with no other option except to leave the house. So we can also say that fear of losing the child is also a reason for which a man doesn’t file a report against domestic violence.
WHY DO MAN STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?
This question cannot be answered very easily. If a man is harassed physically or sexually by his wife or partner, no one will believe him.No one will support him and make him feel ridiculous.
There are many reasons why men don’t report abuse. They are as follows-
Fear of disbelief
Fear of being denied access to their children
Fear of being judged
Fear of revenge by the abuser
Fear of false allegations against him
Fear of being left alone and homeless.
EFFECTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ON MEN :
The adverse effects of the abuse can be very long lasting. Men who have been abused by someone often suffer from different traumas like low self-esteem, anger, sleeping problems, inability to work, depression, joblessness. Sometimes this effects become so depressing that it may destroy a man’s career causing him to attempt suicide.
UNRECOGNITION OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST MAN :
Violence against men remains unrecognised because of many reasons such as-
It has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report the abuse but literally no one is there to support a man.
People don’t even think that men can also be victims of domestic violence. For this reason many men don’t even attempt to report the situation.
In some cases physical damage becomes less apparent for which we do not believe them.
Even if they report, they don’t get any support and help from anyone, not even the social workers or the law and most importantly they are not believed by anyone.
SOCIETY REACTION :
If men file a report against the violence they are met with discrimination and disbelief. Usually people’s reaction would be about men’s size, that he may deserve this for his previous dids and all. Even the police don’t believe the man and say in support of a woman.
Even if a man takes various actions to stop domestic violence, these attacks will not stop. Abused men are not cowards but their actions can be misinterpreted. It is a pity to see a strongest man succumb to the old fashioned way of thinking. If they report they will be seen as well. Laws should be applied regardless of gender so that many women will think twice before abusing a man if they knew they could be arrested like any men in the same situation.
Domestic Violence against men is a topic that many people will not be willing to start. Abuse is abuse no matter to whom it is done. Men are disadvantaged and the hurdles they are facing are almost impossible to overcome.
So to stop Domestic Violence against men at first we have to believe them.They are also human beings and they do feel depressed. So we must not be biased to a particular gender and must not ignore men’s emotions. Social workers and police must be educated about the fact that men can also be a victim.
Maybe this could change the lives of many men who are the victims of domestic violence.
Domestic Violence against men