This book shows the way of living. What to do when? What not to do? How to counter the hurdles in our life and succeed? And has stunningly explained the insights into life.
Mark Manson, the writer, is a star blogger with more than 2 million readers. In this book, the writer initially discusses on ‘experiences’. We always desire to have positive experiences in our life. But the writer believes that the desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience. This might sound tricky, but on reading the book it would become clearer. Explaining in simple words, the more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually have. The more you desperately want a good figure, the uglier you come to see yourself regardless of your actual appearance. So, strive hard for a better future but do not always be very anxious and unsatisfied.
Further, the writer quotes, “Choose your battles”. In life, there so many things we can give a f*ck about. So we need to figure out which ones really matter. Next, the writer addresses the problem of ‘problems’. Evidently, each one of us has problems in our life. And very many of us get disappointed due to these. Disappointment, according to the writer, arises due to two things. 1) Denial- The writer adds, “Some people deny that their problems exist in the first place. And because they deny reality, they constantly delude or distract themselves from reality. This may make them feel good in the short term, but it leads to a life of insecurity, neuroticism, and emotional repression. Second is victim mentality – Some choose to believe that there is nothing they can do to solve their problems, even when they, in fact, could. Victims seek to blame others for their problems or blame outside circumstances. This may make them feel better in the short term, but it leads to a life of anger, helplessness, and despair.
While the writer tells us to excel at whatever we do, paradoxically, also says, “Don not be special, do not be unique.” In simple words, he tries to say that the narrower and rarer the identity you choose for yourself, the more everything will seem to threaten you. I would suggest you to read the book in order to get insights into this sublime thought of the writer.
Further, the writer seems to have been motivating his readers where he exuberantly quotes, “Do not sit there, do something.” Instead of sitting and thinking about the problems you have, try to solve them. Initially, if you might not understand what exactly you are going to do, the simple act of working on it will eventually cause the right ideas to show up in your head.
The writer says that ‘suffering pain’ is inevitable, in one’s life. Eg. One might have the problem of obesity but might aspire to have a good physique. In order to solve this problem, one has to start working out, go to the gym, etc. So, while getting away with the mental pain of not having a good physique, you introduce yourself to the pain of going to the gym, abandoning junk food, etc. Hence suffering pain is inevitable. The writer is of the opinion that learn to sustain the pain you’ve chosen. When you choose a new value, you are choosing to introduce a new form of pain into your life. Relish it. Welcome it with your open arms.
Lastly, the writer expresses his spellbinding views on relationships. He states that while serving relation one should not solve others’ problems to please them. Solve your own problems and let others solve theirs. This sounds difficult to understand, weird as well! But the writer has explained this in detail with significant and exceptional examples.
Thus, I would awfully suggest you to read this book and enlighten yourself.