This thought first crossed my mind when I was writing a letter to one of the stranger penpals that I met online (Although I left it long back). After putting this thought into words and re-reading it again, I realized how sound this phrase was and how accurately it represented what I lacked and what I had.
For all my life I’ve been too focused on productivity, change, and self-improvement so much so that often I ended up exhausting myself while trying to fulfill any of them. As I saw the people around me go through the ‘self-growth’ phase, I always downplayed my own self. I compared their self-growth with my own only to further degrade myself for not possessing enough ‘passion’ or ‘dedication’ to make anything work. Whatever little efforts I put in self-improvement always ended up as failures for they were driven by empty self-motivation. Be it daily work-out or developing a new habit or improving a previous habit, none of them were ever achieved.
Surprisingly, I have also found a link to this exact issue. This one came to me through one of the conversations that took place between my mom and brother. My brother stated that “When our needs increase, we ourselves start taking responsibilities.” After pondering upon this for long I found a path to my own problem. ‘To put myself in situations where I am forced to take responsibilities.’
As a person for whom self-motivation doesn’t last long but for whom deadlines and responsibilities make me work hard as hell, I realized that what I needed was not self-motivation or a human nagging at me to do work but a situation where I am endowed with responsibility. I thought if I can’t take responsibility on my own then putting myself in a situation where I am forced to take responsibility would force me to change. To explain this approach to you I’d take the example of school. When you are a student, the rules of the school make you take responsibility such as doing your assignments, being punctual, etc. By being in this system of school we have definitely changed from whom we initially were.
I know it’s easier said than done, but I think this is much easier than an empty self-motivation. And I can say this because I have tried it. One of the jobs that I got was less with the mindset of money and more with the mindset of responsibility. The only first step that I needed to do was force myself into the situation of a job interview. That’s it. What followed after that were the responsibilities linked with the job and my dedication to fulfill those responsibilities.
But what’s important to note is that you can’t rashly force yourself in any situation. It is important that you choose the situation carefully. Choose a situation and assess how it will help you change the things you want to change by forcing responsibilities upon you. But don’t let the responsibilities be a big burden. Just like this internship which I decided to put myself into, I am now dedicated to fulfilling the tasks of writings almost daily. Thereby, growing not only in terms of self-improvement but also improving my skills of writing. After all, practice makes perfect 🙂