At some point in life we all have heard the dating phrase “it’s not you, it’s me”, but in case of a single mother they are usually left out with a heartbreak and the saying change as “it’s not you, it’s your child”. Our restrictive culture portrays that a second chance is not meant for a single mom. Our patriarchal society demonstrates that if a person is dating a single mother then he is doing a great offense but we never try to image the scrutiny of society she has to tackle. Society pictures that dating a single mother is impossible and in case it is possible it is not accepted.
Life of women is very difficult weather it’s her life before marriage or after marriage. Many women face a lot of harassment plus mental as well as sexual abuse after their marriage which ultimately results in split-up of the couple. Our patriarchal society is so cruel that getting divorce is acceptable but dating a single mom is not tolerable. If a married women who have child practice dating then she is always asked to put the child interest as the first preference. The reason behind single mom refuse to date is the social stigma they have to face. Whatever is the situation the one who is always considered in the faulty side is the women only and the amount of social scrutiny she have to face is numerous. Dating of a mom is not acceptable in India and is considered as a massive ill but taking dowry is referred as a ritual and this is the bitter reality. People often criticize others situation but the trauma one suffers is inexpressible. Dating a mother is like a shame and thus women ultimately decides to either quit the relationship or simply never approaching. If a woman is having a child it is just well-thought-out as a liability or we can simply say a burden which is in the form of joint custody of the child, all the expenses of the child which includes their schooling, tuition and all extra expenses. A divorced woman is always subjected to gossips and if she is an independent mother then definitely she has to tolerate a lot of humiliations and blabbermouths. A counselor from Mumbai, Mr. Narendra Kinger expresses his view that men feels extremely threatened as women’s give their first preference to their child. Every person needs a support in their life and same goes in case of single mom too as even they need companion in their life but keeping the child at the forefront is mandatory for women.
A single woman who has a child usually encounters a lot of difficulties and barrier in her mundane dating life. We all are living at a free democratic country where we have the right to go with our own will then why a mother is always subjected with questionable eyes if she is dating? Only we can change our society by changing our outdated thinking plus we have to modify our patriarchal society to a society which treats everyone equally.
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