Tag: how to talk to people

We Need Empathy not Apathy

“Apathy. What’s hard to understand? They don’t care. Not until it affects them.”

Donna Lynn Hope

For the first few months as an amateur liberal feminist, I responded to offensive comments and sly remarks with, “Would you still feel the same way if it was someone you knew?”

I would gleam with pride as I see them contemplate for a second.

Now, months later I realize the problem in that. Why should something affect us or someone we know and love, to realize the adverse effects on any social, political, economic, ecological, psychological at stake? Why can’t we feel the same pain and understand a stranger? Why do we need it to get personal?

It sounds spiteful to say that we lack compassion, but it’s true.

Here are a few instances where I was put on the spot with pointless questions and remarks that the world will be a better place without. I live in a country, where my religion is the principal religion, where my voice matter, while my peers’ don’t. I choose to use my voice to scream louder than ever to bring about a change in every individual. As a result, I am questioned for choosing to use my privileged voice to advocate for equality, mental health, LGBTQ rights, and against systematic racism, corruption and just anything wrong.

  • None of my family members and close friends are Muslims. Every time I advocate for equality for Muslims, and their basic human rights. I am countered with “Do you have a Muslim boyfriend or something?” Why should I have a Muslim boyfriend, or a friend or even a relative? Why can’t I just fight for someone without having any personal agenda?
  • Another common question I always am asked is, “If you’re so openly advocating for Muslim rights, then why don’t you befriend any Muslims?” It’s simple, I am not an institution, nor do I follow a religion quota. I don’t make friends based on their religion or culture. I will not go and make a Muslim friend just to justify my fight.
  • When I advocate for LGBTQ rights, people question my sexuality. They think I’d be offended. I am offended, not by their question but by their audacity to still think being anything but heterosexual is a joke.
  • When I stand for Black Lives Matter, I am asked if I am not concerned about Dalits, Muslims and every other marginalized community in India. I ask, didn’t you ridicule me for that already?

Many more occurrences come to mind, but my point is made.

We lack empathy. We refuse to understand another without getting something in return. We can’t be so cruel to build a business on emotions and humanity, right?

In actuality, we have a huge fucking empire built on humanity, where they sell corruption and apathy. Where people are exploited and made political prisoners. Where people are killed ruthlessly with word and actions, and further with batons and nails.

We are more interested in who said and did what, and less about the sufferings of the person next door.

Why can’t we each work on ourselves to bring about a revolutionary change. Where we support one another and make this world a better, safer and happier place.

How to attract people in first 90 seconds- Must read!!!

These are the secrets from an amazing book called “How to Make people like you in 90 seconds or less” by Nicholas Booth Man. Likable people are always open, welcoming and friendly in nature and you can notice their sincerity, trust, and self-confidence in their behavior as well, and you can develop all these qualities in yourself by meeting other people in a regular manner. If other people do not find you interesting in first 90 seconds after meeting you, then they would want to get rid of you as soon as possible.

How to Maintain Communication and Culture as a Growing Startup ...

If you want that people like you more, then you have to invest your efforts from the very beginning, and this starts even before you speak a single word from your mouth. Any new person notices three basic things just after meeting you, these three things are your

  1. Body language
  2. Your eyes
  3. Expression on your face

Thus, it is essential that when you meet anyone, these three elements give the feeling of openness to other people. For doing this, you will have to show your interest in them, along with your body, you will have to move your brain as well toward them. This effort will show your sincerity and commitment and openness in the conversation and in them as well after this, you need to see directly in the eyes of other people, this establishes the trust and as soon as you make an eye contact with other person make sure you give a genuine smile to them before they think or assume anything else about you. Let your positive attitude shine with a broad and genuine smile with this simple action, other people will consider you as a genuine, open and sincere person with this simple effort, you already made a warm and welcoming mood for the situation, and now you need to initiate by introducing yourself. You can do that with a standard greeting, like Hi or hello and you must need to do that in a very pleasant tone. Along with that make sure you share your first name to the other person and it will encourage the other person to introduce themselves for example, you can say,….”Hello, I am Akash”. When you say this, then the other person will also share his or her name with you, and as soon as they share their name, you must need to repeat their name like wise you said… “Hello, I am Sahil” you got response… “Hi, I am Sohil” now you have to say, “Sohil, Nice to meet your Sohil.” In his famous book, “How to win friends and influence people,” Dale Carnage shared the fact that the name of any individual is the sweetest sound in the entire world for that person that is why it is essential that you repeat other person’s name in the conversation as much as possible. This method will increase your acceptance and respect, it will also make it easier for your to memorize their name. And finally, you have to lean forward slightly. Just a little leaning would be enough, just like Mr. Obama is slightly leaning forward in this photo.

How To Give A Proper Handshake - Business Insider

Image source: BusinessInsider

With your slight inclination, other people will assume you are showing interested in them, and you are listening to them carefully, also, it will give you a pleasant appearance. Just look at photo and tell who is looking more generous in both of them. Of course, it is Mr. Obama, because he is using this principle.

Studies proved that people hire those people that are similar to them and even most of the time they date people with similar people because they make them feel safe and comfortable. If you try to pay attention, you will find, you enjoy the company of those people who think like you, who behave like you and those who make you feel comfortable. You can be comfortable for them just by synching your voice with their voice. The synching of voice is a very powerful tool in communication skills for this, you need to speak at the same pace as other people are speaking that means if they talk slow, then you should not run fast and second thing, you shall try to use the same tone similar to them. If they are calm and relaxed, and you will speak loudly or with excitement, then it won’t work well for you. You need to use same volume and you need to relax while talking. With this, other people will think you are like them and they will feel more comfortable while talking to you.

photo of people doing handshakes
Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com

In 1979, Dr. Lisa Berkman did a study on 7000 people, and this study lasted for 9 years with this study, she found that people that do not have more social connections or those who do not meet other people, they get ill more often, and it increased their chances of earlier death as well and who meet other people more often, were likely to live longer. So, go and expand your social circle without having any fear, without any complications.