Maya Angelou quoted, “I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. ” It is indeed the truth. Lately I have been thinking a lot about relationship between parents and child nowadays.
Though we love our parents more than anything in this world and so they do. It is of no question that our parents took care of us and will always do, no matter how old we become. But, don’t you think that these days parents-child conflict are increasing way too much? What could be the reason behind that?
The first thing that comes in our mind is obviously generation gap and it’s true. Why generation gap? It is basically age gap between parents and children. However, the major issue arrives due to the mental gap in terms of thinking and current trends. These days, children, mostly teenagers believe that they are grown-ups and it’s high time for them to be independent. This helps them to gain more self-esteem. On the whole, both parents and children do not see things from the standpoint of each other and thus leads to conflict.
Some teenagers feel that their parents should trust them and give them freedom but they also know that parents are more concerned about their safety, which sometimes make children irritated.
Technology also affects the relationship between them. Technological ability is also important. Parents might not learn technology as quick as teenagers and when they try to learn from them, they get impatient. Our world keeps changing and developing, things rarely stay the same, causing generation gaps between the parents and their children.
Below are some of the significant points which need to be understood.
• Parents often do not tolerate mistakes and tend to tell their children off. They need to understand that this is their learning phase and making mistakes will make them grow in life, but if they only get punished for it, it widens the gap and creates a lack of proper communication.
• Children are expected to be replicas of parents often have dreams for their kids. They should not impose their wish on them without knowing what they want.
• Comparing children to each other or telling them how you were as a child also widens the gap. Due to this, they lose confidence and enthusiasm they may previously had.
• Lack of understanding is also the major cause. Listening and understanding what a children is trying to convey could be a good step. But, it is lacking these days. Parents often feel like because they have already been the age their child is currently, that they understand how their child thinks. They should understand things have changed from then to now.
Now, how to solve these problems? Here are some ways :
- Keep an open mind – The way that kid think is different from how parents do. Keeping an open mind and not assuming that they are same as you were at their age is very important. You must also understand that there are some things that are acceptable in society and therefore acceptable to your child that may not have been acceptable when you were the same age.
- Communicate – Taking out time to communicate with your kids will be very helpful. Your child must feel comfortable to talk to you about anything. The children must be assured that they can approach their parents with anything and can speak freely without any fear. And this way parents need not to worry about their children hiding thing from them.
- Listen – Parents need to allow their kids time to talk without interruption and listen to what they have to say. Learning your child’s thoughts and opinions makes them feel like what they want or feel matters to you, which in turn makes them feel much closer to you than before. Having a parent who listens as well instead of only talks and lectures will give your child more encouragement to listen to you in return.
- Understand – With listening comes understanding and this means that you have to learn to put yourself in your child’s shoes and trying to understand how they feel and what they want from what they tell you. If you are able to understand where your child is coming from, you will be able to close that generation gap to some extent.
- Unconditional Love – Love has a way of crossing boundaries and bringing people together if acted upon. So show your children how much you love them. This unconditional love and support that they get from you is very encouraging and makes children more inclined to show that same love and understanding back.
In the end, I would like to mention that children should also treat parents with love and affection because they did and are doing a lot for you everyday that is unnoticed. Your one word of affection can make their day. No matter how miserable you feel while they’re scolding you, never stop respecting them.