Tag: trauma

Mental Health amidst Covid

Mental health is health too.

The pandemic has taken a toll on mental health across the globe. Cases of depression and suicide have increased manifold ever since this coronavirus abruptly interfered with our daily life, and left us on house arrest with never-ending thoughts and endless fear. This speck of RNA has changed the entire outlook of the dynamic world we live in. Be it trade, finance, education or tourism everything seems to stand still for a while, as a consequence of which unemployment skyrocketed, which leads to utter despair and curtailed hope even further. History has never witnessed such a destructive catastrophe till date.

It was just the first wave summarised so far because the damage done by the second wave in India is nothing less than a nightmare in which hundreds and thousands of people lost their lives and scarcity of oxygen came into the picture. With deaths comes grief, anxiety, pain etc that is detrimental to mental health beyond the scope of one’s imagination.

Here are some ways to look after your mental health in these trying times:

Priorities Yourself:

Give yourself priority and listen to your instincts. Do not let others set a line for you because you’re the one who knows yourself the best. But it doesn’t mean to turn a blind eye towards others. It okay to be in your little bubble for a while. Take your time and relax.

Express your Feelings:

It’s not necessary to be expressive all the time, but try to communicate if there is something inside your head that is eating you alive. Communication is the key. Express your feelings in whatever way you want to. Be a loner but don’t be lonely.

Rebuild your routine:

Since we are still stuck with the online education situation, it’s necessary to have a profound morning routine. It will help you to align for the rest of the day and less likely to have a chance to sit ideally and overthink.

Control Overthinking:

Thinking before making any decision is appreciable but continuously thinking about something in endless circles is exhausting.
While everyone thinks over a certain point of time, but “What if and should” dominates the thinking of chronic overthinkers which is mentally draining and can put your health and total well-being at risk.
Rather than getting lost in the thoughts of what you could have, would have and should have done differently, try to become self-aware and connect to your immediate world.

Ask for help:

Be strong enough to ask for help. There are lots of counsellors and therapists available online. They will hear you out and validate your emotions. All you need to do is to summon your courage and accept yourself.

What Is Survivor’s Guilt?

Some of us thank our lucky stars when tragedy happens, those we cherish while we remain unharmed, while others feel guilty. “Why should I be the only one? “What could I have done differently to avoid this?” we wonder. ” These are the defining characteristics of survivor guilt, an unofficial but very real condition.

Survivor guilt occurs when a person believes they have done something wrong by surviving a catastrophic incident in which others have died or otherwise succumbed. It can take many forms, ranging from bittersweet emotions to outright sadness. It is most frequently associated with large-scale disasters (such as combat casualties or plane accidents), but it can also manifest itself in unexpected ways.

The term “survivors’ guilt,” according to experts, has its origins in the Holocaust. There are people, for example, who refuse to forget and  instead feel obliged to ‘remember’ by an inner sense of responsibility; they purposefully deny and refuse themselves any happiness in living. Some wish to erase the memories but are unable to do so.

Most psychologists agree that survivors’ guilt is not a medically diagnosable syndrome, but it appears emotionally and physically in those who survive a terrible incident; guilt has traditionally been associated with war veterans, survivors of natural disasters, catastrophes, and sicknesses.

Survivor’s Guilt often falls into one of the the three overarching themes:

  1. Feeling guilty over one’s survival – When we think about survivor guilt, we usually think of this: if you were unharmed while others have been injured, you may believe you didn’t deserve to be protected and should’ve been hurt as well. You doubt the world’s fairness and justice.
  1. Feeling guilty over what you could have done – You’re regretful that you didn’t go above and beyond. You should’ve known better, and you should’ve tried harder. Perhaps you attempted but failed to save someone. There’s an exaggerated feeling of disappointment or blame: “If only I’d done things differently.”
  1. Feeling guilty over what you had done – You could also feel bad about something you did, such as shoving people out of the way to flee an armed gunman or abandoning your family for greater chances abroad. Alternatively, you may experience a great deal of guilt over things that happened by chance.

HOW TO COPE WITH SURVIVOR’S GUILT

  1. Embrace and let yourself feel the emotions – Survivor’s guilt is a known response to trauma, even if it is not particularly rational. Embrace and allow yourself to feel the emotions that emerge. Allow yourself time to absorb the feelings of guilt, sadness, anxiety, and sadness that often come with a traumatic incident and the death of a loved one. It is critical to get treatment if these feelings become overpowering or do not become more tolerable with time.
  1. Build relationships with others – Share your emotions with your loved ones. Search for an appropriate support group if loved ones are not able to comprehend your feelings. Survivors may interact with others, vent emotions, and offer advice in both face-to-face support groups and online forums.
  1. Make use of mindfulness exercises – People who have experienced tragedy may benefit from mindfulness, particularly amid flashbacks or moments of strong and unpleasant emotions. Focusing on the breathing, touching close fabrics, and hearing sounds both within and outside the space are some grounding strategies to try.
  1. Practicing self-care – It is terrifying and upsetting to see a loss or potential loss of life. Survivors can benefit from engaging in pleasurable activities. It is also critical for a person to get adequate sleep, maintain a well-balanced diet, and start exercising on a regular basis.
  1. Do something good towards others – Survivors of traumatic incidents might feel much better if they help others in some manner.

According to studies, some individuals experiencing survivor’s guilt and other symptoms  get better without therapy during the first year of the occurrence. Yet, at least one-third of individuals will experience the symptoms for three years or more. If an individual feels they would be unable to manage on their own, or if the symptoms are getting worse or becoming persistent, then it is critical to seek help.

Breaking The Cycle Of Generational Trauma

We do not simply just inherit our parents’ skin complexion, eye colour, or height. We can also acquire our parents’ stories, narratives, and perspectives on life. There is a piece of them that lives on in us, whether we are conscious of it or not. While carrying on our family’s tradition is a good thing to do, there may be unaddressed tension and trauma to sift through and tidy up.

WHAT IS GENERATIONAL TRAUMA?

Generational trauma is exactly what the name implies: trauma that is passed down from one generation to the next. It can be subtle, hidden, and ambiguous, emerging via nuances and unwittingly taught or suggested throughout someone’s life from infancy onward. 

Families with a record of unresolved trauma, depression, anxiety, and addiction can pass on ineffective coping techniques and suspicious views of life to subsequent generations. In this way, one might perpetuate the same behaviours and attitudes of previous generations, even if they’re healthy.

While generational trauma can impact anybody, individuals who have suffered major kinds of abuse, abandonment, torture, discrimination, and racial inequalities are at the greatest risk. Generational trauma has been studied in relation to Holocaust survivors, the Khmer Rouge atrocities in Cambodia, the Rwandan genocide, the relocation of American Indians, and the slavery of African Americans, among other things. While the evidence on how trauma manifests itself is varied, several studies have found increased rates of anxiety, sadness, and PTSD among trauma survivors and their offspring.

Trauma can cause poverty, poor parenting, decreased bonding, psychological distress, and insecure living conditions, all of which have a significant influence on children ’s development.

WAYS IN WHICH GENERATIONAL TRAUMA CAN AFFECT FAMILIES

  1. Emotions could become a point of conflict across generations – Regardless of how the trauma is coped with, elder generations within a family set the tone for how traumatic events must be (and frequently are) dealt with. Unfortunately, the trauma is passed down through generations since those who needed assistance never received it. In some situations, the traumatised family member may even pass on bad feelings to others in the family.
  1. Trauma can have an impact on the parent-child relationship – Individuals who have not gotten assistance and support for their trauma may establish unhealthy connections with their kid or grandchild. Emotional, psychological, or verbal abuse can all be signs of an unhealthy relationship. Abuse can be sexual or physical in severe situations.
  1. Unaddressed mental issues could cause relationship conflict – It is well known that older people do not believe in seeking the assistance of mental health specialists. Members of the family suffering from mental health issues (depression, anxiety, psychotic symptoms, etc.) genuinely require assistance because untreated psychiatric symptoms can lead to more trauma and emotional instability within one’s family.
  1. Younger generations may become “satisfied” with the way things are – If avoiding and denying ,and even embracing, the trauma becomes “normal” for the family, future generations will adopt this manner of “survival” and imitate the behaviours. People who avoid, downplay, or suppress family trauma exacerbate the situation for younger family members. We learn a lot about how to cope with stressful experiences.

HOW TO HEAL FROM GENERATIONAL TRAUMA

Many people do not realize their dysfunctional behavior because they are simply applying what they have learnt in the best way they know how to.  The key to change is awareness. There can be no change unless you acknowledge that something is wrong in your family unit.

  1. The first step is to recognise the patterns. Some are much more visible than others, such as domestic violence, abuse, anxiety, and gender norms. 
  1. The second stage is to become more conscious of what causes you to fall into these established patterns. Is it shouting, contempt, feeling undervalued, physical violence, or witnessing others bully? The list could go on and on. 
  1. The third stage is to become conscious of how you respond to triggers once you are aware of them. Do you shut down, get furious, get aggressive, or yell?
  1. The fourth stage is to understand how to create constraints in such behaviors. Creating a trigger word or phrase that will assist you detect when you are following a pattern. Creating a support network in order to be held accountable. 
  1. Giving yourself love and time to heal is the fifth stage. These are behaviors which have been ingrained in us for a long time. Generational trauma doesn’t really heal in a day or a week. It takes some time.

In order to enhance these processes, enlisting the assistance of a professional is a wonderful choice. Sometimes when the trauma you experienced is so deeply ingrained in you that you need additional assistance.