Tag: human psychology

I’m thinking of ending things…

Author – Iain Reid

Page count – 224 (hardback) 130 (eBook)

Genre – Suspense, psychological thriller

The story is about a young woman and her boyfriend. A girl has no name (high five if you GoT (again) that reference). Jake is her boyfriend. We find them driving to his parents house in the country and then back home. Its just that. But you won’t believe how much happens in that time frame. The conversation between the couple makes you think. They have these deep talk about childhood and other stuff.

The name of the book is such because the girl keeps thinking of ending things with this boyfriend all this time and this is important.

Recently made into a Netflix movie this book is what I wish I had heard about earlier. I strongly recommend thriller novel fans to give it a read. Moreover it’s short. You could finish it within a day or two. Haven’t seen the movie yet but I will check it out after I finish writing this. I really want to see the difference between how I pictured it and how the movie is portrayed. I do that with every book based movie.

It’s been a while since a read a good book. This one kept me hooked. One of those un-put-downable. The suspense it creates. You know there’s something wrong about it but you cannot pin point what it is. There’s this one crazy page and the next page is normal but you turn to the next page and it’s crazier than the first. You’ll make yourself comfortable with the surrounding, the character and the scene changes out of the blue. The last few pages are so confusing makes you feel anxious unless you read it all.

It has a 3.5/5 rating on Goodreads. I would rate it 4/5.

P.s. Suggest me some good thriller novels please.

Thank you for reading. Have a nice day!

Creative Things to do When You Feel Lonely

According to a study of more than 170,000 people published at the Psychology Bulletin in 2013, the average adult’s network of friends have reduced in the past decades. It’s no wonder many people feel lonelier than ever.

Feeling lonely, however, is not a direct cause of being alone. It’s possible to feel lonely in a crowd.

Loneliness, in fact, is more dangerous than isolation because it increases a person’s mortality rate.

If it’s so dangerous, how do we fight loneliness then?

Wondering What to Do When You Feel Lonely?  Here Are some Tried and Tested Tips.

  • Watch Inspiring Ted Talks.
Rob Greenfield Speaking - Inspire Your Community with Rob!

Ted Talks are inspiring and informative. I don’t know why, but watching a few Ted Talks really help when I feel lonely and helpless. Watching TED talks will not only give you a motivational boost while your studying, it could also inspire your next career move. Better than that, it could help you improve your interview techniques and confidence in meetings helping you advance your career once you get your foot in the door.

  • Look Through Old photos
Remembering Through Photographs Stock Image - Image of photographs ...

Old photos bring back a time, a place, and a life that are long gone. Perhaps, it reminds us all; that everything shall come to an end at some point. I believe an old photo is a physical instillation of our memory from the past.Human emotions are fickle things. They are ever changing. Tears don’t indicate anything in particular. They’re just a bodily response.

  • Dance (Naked)
And I Feel Alive: Learning To Dance Alone

Sometimes, we feel lonely because we’re actually alone. So take this chance to do the things you can only do when you’re alone, like dancing naked or jumping on the bed with your shoes on. Doing crazy stuff alone will give you a good laugh.

  • Take A Bath
Do You Have To Take A Shower After A Bath Bomb? | Shower+Bath

Where do good ideas come from? In the shower, right? Taking a nice, long, and relaxing bath is a great way to be bask in your alone time, instead of drowning in self-pity.  Ladies, prepare a glass of red, chocolates and magazines. Gents, take a bubble bath with that scotch and enjoy life.

  • Adopt A Cute Pet
Cute babies - Babies Pets and Animals Photo (17268865) - Fanpop

All pets are cute no matter whom you want to adopt. A furry cat or dog will cheer you up. The playfulness of pets, plus the troubles (and fun) you’ll experience while training them will make you forget about your troubles. Even a goldfish or pretty parrot can do wonders for your mood.

  • Go on a solo date to eat your favorite food
Coffee Date with Myself - Chopstick Panorama

You know the problem with group and couples dates? The annoying “So what do we do?” and “Where do we eat?” questions. When you go on a date with yourself, you’re sure to go somewhere you actually like and you don’t have to wait around for others to decide.

  • Start Gratitude Journal
Dear Diary: The "Write" Way to Journal | Project Best Life

It’s hard to feel down when you know that you have a lot to be thankful for.  When you don’t know what to be thankful for, just write what you feel. Sometimes, it can help you identify why you feel lonely in the first place.

  • Create Something New
25 Easy To Do Waste Material Craft Ideas for Children

Wondering how to not feel lonely, when you actually prefer to be alone? Getting bored is a prerequisite of feeling lonely. And what’s one of the main causes of getting bored? Having nothing to do. So keep yourself occupied! Try a new recipe. Create a scrapbook. Finish that DIY project you’ve been postponing for so long.

  • Behave like a tourist in your own city and do crazy things
Tourist traps worth visiting - Insider

Dress up like a tourist, and do all the cheesy touristy things in your city. Eat the local delicacy, tour the crowded tourist spots and explore new locations you’ve never heard of. Take pictures with monuments and come home and rejoice those memories.

  • Read any book especially a fiction
Pin on Photography

Please don’t pick a Dummies book on how to stop feeling lonely.  Reading self-help when you’re feeling miserable will make just you feel worse. Read a good novel instead. Losing yourself in a good story or identifying with a powerful character will boost your confidence and fill you with a sense of adventure.

  • Sing your heart out and have your own concert in your room
Singing in Home Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

The part “your heart out” basically means with vigorous or intense conviction. This is the basic intent of the sentence — that it’s okay to do that something as long as the person is doing it with great conviction or considerable effort.

To sing your out more literally means to sing with great conviction or great gusto and sincerity. Of course, it doesn’t mean to sing loudly at the top of your voice, which then isn’t necessarily a positive thing. To sing care-free like there is nobody else in this world except you.

  •  Go For A Quick Run
Feeling anxious? Run it out! — Neurofantastic

Running is scientifically proven to make you happier. Even 30 minutes of walking can instantly lift your mood, according to a 2006 study published at Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise.

  • Volunteer for a cause
About Us – Butterfly Hospice Care

Focusing on the needs of others steers your mind away from sad thoughts. It’s impossible to feel lonely when you’re feeding the homeless, reading to kids at an orphanage, or dancing with grandmas at a salsa class. Helping the less fortunate will also fill you with immense gratitude.

  • Watch a Movie or Series
7 Best Apps To Watch Movies Together Online With Your Friends

Watch a movie alone or call some friends to go with you—it doesn’t matter. What’s important is you immerse yourself in an interesting story that’ll erase your gloomy thoughts. Watch a chick-flick, or a super hero movie—anything but a tear jerker, really —and grab lots of candy and popcorn.

“What to do when you feel lonely?”

I can’t imagine how many people have Googled that phrase when they felt the pangs of loneliness. Unfortunately, it’s not the best question to ask. Would you ask a doctor for a prescription before they check your symptoms?

Instead of trying things randomly, hoping one solution will do the trick—losing hope and feeling worse when it doesn’t—it’s better to identify the cause of your loneliness first. If you were previously happy in your own company, what could’ve caused you to feel lonely this time? Do your friends make you feel lonely? Is it your work or surroundings, perhaps? The cause of your loneliness will clue you in on the appropriate solution.

Do your friends make you feel lonely? Is it your work or surroundings, perhaps? The cause of your loneliness will clue you in on the appropriate solution.

Loneliness is an emotion, mostly triggered by a sad memory. Unfortunately the brain loves to overanalyze things, so even momentary loneliness can escalate to longer spells because of thoughts like “Why do I feel so alone?” and  “Am I a loser no one loves?” When this happens, just acknowledge the feeling and don’t overreact.

These are some of the things I do when I’m hit by this gruesome feeling of being alone even if I have more friends than I can count. What are your tips to feel less lonely? Do share in the comments!

SHOR IN THE CEREBRAL CORTEX

The Krakatoa volcanic eruption in Indonesia created the loudest sound ever reported at 180 dB in the year 1883. Do you know what’s louder than that? My mind thinking, producing thoughts faster than the blink of an eye. ‘Writer must be some mad scientist solving scientific equations in her brain’, one might think. On the contrary, the equations my brain analyses are the thousand possibilities of one single situation.

Everyone is looking at me. They are talking about me. Is it my hair? Is it the shirt I’m wearing? I think the world knows about that one time when I mispronounced the word ‘laminate’ as ‘lemonade’ in 6th grade. This is it. Life gave me lemons and the lemonade I made is SOUR.

An organ made of soft tissues and approximately two clenched fists in size has the power to make and break one’s life is a big accusation on our Brains. But who is to be blamed then?

I would like to someday adopt a Fish and a Cat and a Dog. But what if the cat eats the fish and the dog chases the cat and then they all flee my house and I’m left alone with my thoughts again. You would call it unnecessary paranoia and you would be right. I don’t really reside in my body; I’m simply paying rent to it. This rented house of mine has two windows, I call them my eyes. I guess my mind is the prison and I’m never going to get out of it.

I’m a visitor inside my brain and now my thoughts have chained me to my bed and I’m stuck. Hello, is anybody there, you got keys to my cell?

Wait a minute there is nobody here miles and miles away then who really locked the cell from outside? I give it one small push and it opens with a creak. The door to my prison was never locked? I was staying there voluntarily!

The Brain is powerful. How many doors in your life, you think are locked but aren’t? How many times have you been stuck in the mental prison of overthinking? Something that really had a simple solution. There is an old African line that says, ‘When there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.’ Cerebral Cortex is that part of the brain which produces thoughts, the capability of imagining things beyond reality. It is the strongest force in your life. It will force its opinions on you – ‘you are not good enough’, ‘you cannot do it’, ‘what will they say about you?’,’ stop, you are not made for this.’

Dear Mind of mine, thank you for your opinions but every overthinking thought you produce is equivalent to nothing. We bring it to life with the attention we give it. Stressful thoughts knock on our doors and we tell them ‘STAY OUT’. But that makes them knock louder.

BUT HOW DO I CONTROL AND DESTROY THOSE THOUGHTS?

The secret is – don’t mind the mind. This is the natural state of existence. This is the law of universe. In Science, the first law of Thermodynamics states that, ‘You cannot create or destroy energy but you can transfer it from one thing to another.’ Thoughts will arise and yes you will fill them but you don’t have to fight, control or defeat you mind. Just stay neutral in between those thoughts and it will dissolve into silence. A peaceful state of mind.

Or we can order a pizza and transfer the energy we spend on overthinking into the process of eating this slice of cheesy heaven. But why does the circle pizza come in a square box? And why is a slice of pizza triangle? Did mathematicians invent the pizza? Is pizza the SYMBOL OF ILLUMINATI?! WHAT IF…..and just like that the writer fell into her rabbit hole of overthinking and the Shor (noise) in her Cerebral Cortex was louder than the Shor in her city.

The bitter truth about the “wokeness” surrounding mental health.

Depression is termed as a mood disorder that makes the person affected be constantly in a state of low mood with an aversion to activity. It is said to be a constant feeling of sadness. But is it though? I don’t think it so simple to term something that can eventually lead you to take your own life, or at the very least haut you with suicidal tendencies for the rest of your life. I think we all know where I am going with this, Sushant Singh Rajput. He surely was a brilliant actor, a profound intellectual and definitely a charming person overall. However, this isn’t one of those posts. I am not going to jump to either bandwagon be it that he wasn’t strong enough or that he was yet another victim. This isn’t simply a black and white issue, and for what it’s worth, there isn’t simply one culprit in this case.

Photo by VisionPic .net on Pexels.com

Sushant was the very definition of someone who struggled against the real world to make it to the reel industry. But since he didn’t have much of a background or a godfather so to say, he was often relegated. That is all I am going to say on this topic, because unnecessarily bringing up his name seems a bit desecrating. Which brings me to the point out the despicable behavior of not just the media and the supposed “heavenly” B-town members but also the common people on social media. In an effort to seem much more emotionally matured and woke, every one gave their own eulogy to him constantly tagging him on social media. These people never once thought about what his family and loved ones would think when they saw a gazillion fake eulogies and crocodile tears, all the while they themselves aren’t ready to accept this death. I believe we as a society get a voyeuristic pleasure from doing all this. Some people based on tiktok and similar apps even devised click-baits surrounding this issue. As if this wasn’t enough, another trend that has risen is a supposed wokeness in terms of mental health, where people would post on social media that they are ready to listen and mend the depression of random strangers online, never considering the fact that they are the same people who unnecessarily troll and bully others. They say whether or not I know you I’ll help you out, even when they have never helped their family or friends. Its easy to assume that people can talk to random strangers or call helplines to prevent their depression. How can they do that when they aren’t even able to approach their friends or family. While the present generation at least acknowledges depression and suicidal tendencies of those suffering from it, a majority of the older generations feel that it isn’t something to worry about, that those who feel or do so are simply weak minded. Its not that easy to approach someone, when you yourself keep on doubting your self-worth. And the fact that people have taken the mantra of “I’ll help you just reach out” in order to increase their social standing and to seem hip in the present times doesn’t feel leave a good taste in anyone’s mouth. I do not think I even have to mention how despicable and self-serving Indian media is, which while being controlled by money-hungry media houses isn’t that surprising. For you need to be worse than the lowest scum to term someone’s suicide as a “hit-wicket”. For someone to take their own life, they definitely must have suffered when they had lived. However, by doing so we do not let the dead rest even in death.

This “wokeness” is definitely a nine days wonder, and soon this too will pass and we all will be back to our hateful and spiteful selves. Should something change in our way of living would certainly be a god blessed miracle

‘Not all men’ vicious – Pseudo Feminism

If you pick up a dictionary, the definition you’ll find for the word ‘feminism’. In simple terms, there shouldn’t be any injustice met out to either sex. They should be treated equally. But, off late, a new type of feminism is developing which is rightly called as pseudo feminism. Pseudo feminists hold a strong resolve to correct all the injustices done to women, mostly by lashing out at men and demeaning them. What they forget is the basic essence of feminism movement: equality. Another form of pseudo feminism, according to me, is the feminism of convenience. The biggest example being: men paying for dates. If we’re as equal as women proclaim to be, why can’t a restaurant bill be split between the two? The reason is simple-men are too egoistic to let a woman pay, and for a few women it miraculously becomes a man’s job to pay for the date. Where, I ask these feminists, does the feminism vanish then?

Feminism is now a muddied term. Difficult to say what it means today. We often don’t realise it, but pseudo feminism is all around us, hiding behind feminism in clandestine. We’re the women shouting for equal rights everywhere, but don’t waste a single minute asking a guy sitting on a Ladies Reserved seat to vacate it. Why do we need reservations in general coaches? Since we’re able bodied, strong, grown-up women of strength, can’t we stand in a general coach? Men doing 9-5 jobs, burning their hours toiling hard to earn, are as tired as we are. It is just a very preposterous notion. Like it’s correctly said, two wrongs don’t make a right.

Although they are in the minority, it’s a crystal clear truth there are men who too are subjected to sexual crimes. The numbers of cases reported to the police are on the lower side, because most of the men don’t report such crime for the fear of being ridiculed at, not being believed and instead facing the charges themselves. Men are mostly kidnapped and abducted for illegal sexual intercourse, forced marriages, prostitution, etc. The number of such victims is really low but it’s a fact we cannot ignore. When we are talking of rising violence against women, we shouldn’t neglect the fact that somewhere out there are men also being subjected to same brutalities.

Board results are a few months away, but a boy has passed with flying colors by refusing to be part of a plan to rape a girl, hatched by the girl herself, who was pretending to be a boy. The boy passed but, many say, feminism failed. They have been saying that for years now. They are not too off the mark though. While it may not have failed, it sure has taken a huge hit.

Fake accounts, false allegations and fraudulent charges have harmed men and their reputations. They are also building a case against women’s right to stay in the fight for justice.
Part of the problem is the fact that the odds are heavily stacked against women. But another part of the problem is the way women used social media to fight this battle.

Each true story helps build credibility. Each false story is turned into a weapon against the fight for gender justice. The girl, who faked herself as a boy, is not part of the Bois Locker Room chats, but the story is now all about this one girl who faked her identity.

So what should women do?

I will answer with what they should not.

One, do not shoot and scoot. Don’t get into it if you cannot stay in it. Weigh in before you jump in. This is for the long haul. There is a lot of mudslinging that happens. You can’t escape the splashes.

Two, do not use fake accounts to bring down men. It’s easy to prove. The consequences are for everyone – the man, the movement and also you. Take care of You. Take care of the fight that is for us to stand equal to men with no biases in workplaces, no casual sexism, no acid attacks, no rapes and no honor killings.

If true feminism was followed, then we would treat all the victims equally. Victims would cease to be women or men, but just victims of abuse. But sadly, that is not the case. Pseudo feminism shouts out loudly that men can’t be raped, men can’t be tormented, and men claiming to have been put under such atrocities are lying cheats. It’s most likely that I would be branded ‘anti-feminist’ by pseudo feminists all around, but I don’t mind. I don’t mind because I know how to stand up for my fellow sisters when they actually need it.

When a woman is put on fire, when she is raped, is brutalized, is stripped naked on the streets, forced to quit her studies to marry a man three times her senior in age, when she is blamed if she is raped, or teased, when a woman is beaten repeatedly for refusing to pressurize her parents into paying dowry, when she is considered inferior to her male counterparts, that is when I need to give voice to my anger and lash out at the people responsible for it. If I am a true feminist, I will do the same if it were a man being stoned on the streets, being raped, being accused of a fake rape, being doubted over just because he is a man. As Gloria Steinem rightly said, a feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men.

Not all men do it, but all women suffer through it.

This is serious. Take it seriously.

“Do Psychological Halt -limit Our Actions” ?

It’s believed since centuries that whatever man things off, becomes the same. Thoughts and actions define the personality of a person and give a true definition of his/ her character. It has been often linked to the fact of psychology and how it has affected our day today life. Whatever man watches around, whatever happens around him do have an impact over his thoughts and definitely reflects in the actions. But why do we humans act according to our surroundings more these days, and instead of analyzing what actually needs to be done. There are various scenarios where even one needs to do a particular act but restricts himself from doing the same. 

There are various psychological theories reflecting such behaviour of humans, but today we will analyze a few of them and how we actually are a part of these. These are really famous research based theories and define han behavior in day to day life. To these are:

  1. The Abilene paradox
  2. The Spotlight Effect

So describing each one of these initially we would try to understand what Abilene paradox and Spotlight Effect are. 

So to make it simple to understand, “The Abilene paradox” is a scenario where everyone performs An activity or agrees with each other on some point of discussion which actually no one wants to. It usually explains agreement of people or number of individual but in reality they have some other opinions and views and in the fear of separation from the group, just agrees with one another. This act of human is generally focused out of individuals:

  1. Fear of separation from the group. 
  2. Thinking of what other will think about the person, that how dumb he/ she is.
  3. Sometimes to limit the scenario of conflict.

These often lead to a result, where no one actually wanted to reach individually but just out of fear of separation from the group, they all agreed to conclude at a general consensus. 

“The Spotlight Effect” has an effect on individual’s way of performing any task. The spotlight effect generally focuses as an effect which people usually visualize that everyone is watching them and noticing them. This effect usually has a greater impact on making any individual nervous whenever they are on stage, which they generally say as their stage fear. But as through the study and research in this field, it was acknowledged that other people usually pay less attention to others and the percentage is quite less, as compared to what the person thinks of it to be. It’s because other people are also under “The Spotlight Effect” and rather focusing on others, they have major focus on themselves being noticed. So whenever any individual feels nervous, he/ she may acknowledge this fact that they are just overthinking about their looks and performance and the other person is hardly concerned about it. 

“So these psychological acts do affect our day to day activities and the way we perform, but what really matters is to step up for yourself and your views irrespective of what others may believe for the betterment. We all need to build  up the confidence to face the world without fear, and thus bring out the change we truly desire”.