The world is full of paradoxes. One of the biggest is the tradeoff between having high and low expectations. It’s a prerequisite to becoming your best self.

On the one hand, we need to expect to win at life, otherwise; what’s the point of even trying? But on the other hand, we can’t be discouraged when we lose.

The two different concepts are perfectly explained by the following two quotes.

1. “You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.” — Zig Ziglar
2. “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”― Alexander Pope

The first quote says we should expect to win, the second one says we shouldn’t expect to win. So which attitude do you pick?

This is a hard concept to wrap your head around. It took me years to find a balance that worked for me.

The Importance Of A Positive Attitude

You need a positive attitude if you want to win. All kinds of successful people from different fields will tell you that.

There’s no point in “trying.” When you do something, you must do it well, and expect to win. I think that’s the attitude many winners share.

But you and I both know that your attitude is only one part of the equation. Without putting in the work, you must realize that you will not win. You can have all the talent in the world, if you don’t put it to work, you will never reach your full potential.

Winning, becoming good at your job, getting recognition — it all requires a lot of work. To reach our full potential, we must prioritize learning over pleasure.

That means we can’t become great and go out every weekend, watch movies every night, play video games, go shopping, and just hang out on the couch.

The Danger Of Low Expectations

But expecting to win can also be harmful if you’re not mentally strong. I’ve always been an optimistic person. That attitude has helped me a lot in life.

However, in my early twenties, I almost got discouraged to reach for my goals. Time and time again, I was disappointed by failure. Especially when I got out of college, I tried to start many different businesses. And everything failed except for the business I started with my dad.

Naturally, I felt like I couldn’t do it on my own. Look back, it was too early for me. But those high expectations almost made me give up. I’m glad I kept going and stayed positive.

The problem is not whether you fail or not. It’s about this: What do you want to do about it?

Cry and moan and say, “Why does this happen!!” We all know that’s not helpful. Instead, we must be indifferent to outcomes.

But still, I do think we must expect to win at everything in life: Your career, relationships, and money. Aim high and do everything in your control to become your best self. That’s the most useful way to spend your time.

Compare Yourself To Who You Were Yesterday

I like this idea from Jordan Peterson, who talks about comparing yourself to who you were yesterday, in his book 12 Rules For Life.

When you focus on yourself, there’s no disappointment about external factors.

You do everything you can, and if you lose, you will do better next time. Nothing can destroy you.

And if you fail? So what? Being sad or disappointed when things don’t turn out the way you expected is completely normal. I still don’t like to fail. But what’s not normal is blaming others or yourself.

Here’s the thing: Don’t take yourself nor life too seriously. We all know that blaming others is what fools do. You only create resentment and hatred by blaming other people for your losses in life.

But sadly, many honest, self-aware, and positive people blame themselves. And that’s also wrong.

Expect The Best From Yourself — Not From “The World”

In short, this is what I’ve learned about high and low expectations:

• Have high expectations from yourself. Put in the work. Aim for becoming your best self.
• Have zero expectations from “the world.” Don’t expect other people to hand you anything.
• Understand that you don’t control externals. Never blame yourself for bad outcomes.
• But do blame yourself for not giving it your all. That’s something you control.

There are always people who say, “But what about this or that?” And I often say that I don’t know. Because it’s naïve to say you have the answers.

We’re all trying to make sense out of our careers, relationships, and most importantly: Our own actions.

It’s a never-ending process. We do. We fail. We learn. But we never give up.

I love my comfort zone. To me, that’s where the real magic happens.

In my comfort zone, I have my family, friends, work, music, books, movies, bike, gym, park, you name it. Everything I love.

And from that place of safety, I’m more open to trying new things and take risks.

I’ve never believed the idea of that stupid little drawing. You know what I’m talking about, right?

• “Your comfort zone.” A little circle.
• “Where the magic happens.” A big circle that stands for the promise of success.

As if “magic” only happens when you step outside your comfort zone; that’s ridiculous. And while we’re at it; why pretend as if your comfort zone is bad? It’s this little pathetic circle displayed against the bigger “magical” circle.

Sure, I’m all about pushing yourself, trying new things, moving forward, growing, etc. But in contrast to many popular self-help people, I don’t believe the comfort zone is a bad thing.

Call me a pessimist. Call me a stoic. But more than anything, I’m merely a practical person.

And practically speaking, you don’t even want to make a huge leap outside your comfort zone. In fact, I believe in the slow road to “magic.”

Where’s The Magic People Talk About?

I’ve found that I do my best work when I don’t worry about money, finding new friends, getting familiar with a new environment, and anything else that is related to always moving around.

But don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I prefer to stay put. Stagnation is a death sentence to me.

I believe that there are different phases to life. Sometimes, you take it easy, work on your skills, your character — you invest in yourself.

And sometimes, you just go out there and take a chance. Life’s too short to be a wimp.

But those two things are interconnected. If you don’t work on yourself, and if you lack self-confidence, you will never take a risk.

For years I wanted to do what I’m doing now. But instead of jumping out of my comfort zone (which was scary), I slowly took on new and bigger challenges.

First, I got two degrees in business. Then, I started a business together with my father. That was in 2010. And after two years of working on that business for six or seven days a week, I started doing freelance marketing work.

Again, after a few years of freelancing and starting (and failing) other businesses on my own, I took a job at a research advisory firm because I wanted to know how it is to work for a major corporation.

And after doing that for a year and a half, I finally decided to write and talk about productivity, career, and entrepreneurship on the internet.

By then, I‘d been doing the things I write about for more than 10 years. And yet, I don’t have all the answers—I just share the stuff I’ve learned.

So it would be ridiculous if I would join people who scream: “If you want to be successful, all you have to do is step outside your comfort zone. NOW!”

Well, have you ever stepped outside your comfort zone? Even just a little bit counts. And what did you find? A leprechaun with a bag of money?

That comfort zone shit is just a story. It might motivate some people, but you don’t have to believe it if you don’t want to. It’s just like when people claim you have to wake up early if you want to be successful. Says who?

I believe this: If you step outside your comfort zone, there’s only more work waiting for you. It’s not fancy at all. There’s no magic involved. Just blood, sweat, and tears.

Work Your Way Up From A Place Of Comfort

I think that most people who read these type of articles want to achieve something. Maybe you want to quit your job, start a business, grow your business, become an artist, publish a book, whatever.

And you probably also know that it’s not easy. So why do you make things even harder for yourself by doing shit that makes you very uncomfortable?

Instead, start from the very bottom. Build a strong foundation. Get comfortable before you do scary stuff.

“How does that foundation look like?”

If you want to live stress-free, you need enough money in your savings account so you can live and eat for six months in case things go south—see it as a fail-safe system. Again, that’s my practical mind speaking for me.

Make some calculations and figure your what that number is for you. And don’t even think about taking a risk before you have that money on your savings account.

Also, build a skill set that’s worth something. One of the reasons I don’t care about money is because I trust my ability to find work. Even when I go broke tomorrow, I’ll find a way to get work the next day. I’ve invested years and hundreds of thousands of dollars in my education.

The question is: What’s your skill? How can you add value to the world? What problems can you solve?

Other things that complete your foundation:

1. Family. If you don’t have a family, create one.
2. Friends. You can’t be friends with everyone. Stick to a few people who also stick to you.
3. Yourself. Consciously improve your body and mind. Go to bed a little stronger and wiser every night.

Lastly, don’t try to be something you’re not. If you’re an introvert, don’t pretend that you can work in a boiler room. If you’re an extrovert, don’t pretend you can work in solitude.

Stay close to yourself—there’s no point in pushing yourself so badly that your life becomes miserable.

In the end, we all need comfort: It’s one of our basic needs as human beings. But we also need growth. So whatever you do, don’t stay in your comfort zone for too long.

Try to keep moving forward every day: Even if it’s just a tiny step. No magic. Just effort.