Tag: mental health

COVID-19 and its impact on LGBTQ+

The world came to a standstill with the spreading of the infectious coronavirus in 2020. In March 2020, the WHO declared the COVID-19 as a pandemic. Hence, the governments all around the world imposed (and are still imposing) nationwide/partial lockdown and curfew timings, as a measure to contain the spread of the virus.

With the imposition of lockdown came different sets of difficulties. The COVID-19 pandemic has had adverse impact on the world economy, and the impact is expected to be visible in the coming times as well. However, not just the economy but the social impact of the virus can be felt on different genders groups as well. Gender and sexual minorities are the one most prone to face the social impact of the virus.

COVID-19 and its discrimination towards LGBTQA+

The gender and sexual minorities (SGM) are especially vulnerable to the experiences of COVID-19. The SGM people collectively includes Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Two-Spirit, Queer, Intersex, and Asexual (LGBT2SQIA+) people.  Hankivsky & Kapilashrami in their work ‘Beyond sex and gender analysis: An intersectional view of the COVID-19 pandemic outbreak and response’ (2020), mention that, While COVID-19 was initially framed as an illness that does not discriminate COVID-19, but like other biocultural health crises, it does in fact discriminate, and it does so in ways that mirror the discriminations that are fundamental to contemporary society.

It is not an uncommon fact for SGM people to face discrimination on a daily basis. Now in times of COVID and the past nation-wide lockdowns and state lockdowns, along with the mass hysteria of not-knowingness, their chances of facing discrimination is clearly higher than the usual.

In the work ‘Sexual and Gender Minority Health Vulnerabilities During the COVID‐19 Health Crisis’ (2020) by Gibb et al, they mention, the heteronormative structures of power, inequality and marginalisation have shaped the understanding of economic, social and political inequalities experienced by SGM people. The stigma, systemic discrimination and other forms of structural inequalities faced by SGM people’s reduces their access to vital resources such as basic healthcare, educational and employment opportunities, housing, wealth, social support and political power related to heterosexual cisgender people. Like other marginalised communities SGM people face the risk of behavioural and environmental inequalities linked to social and economic marginalisation. In the crisis of the COVID-19 pandemic, SGM people are being subjugated to the atrocities from the hysteria created by the public.

COVID-19 and mental health of LGBTQ+

With the imposition of nation-wide lockdowns and/or curfew timings, the livelihood of people came to a pause. This also meant that people had to return to their homes of safety. But, this option was not entirely available for people of SGM because of their past social unacceptance of their sexuality by their family and others. And hence, they had to take abode in unsafe neighbourhoods.

Gibb et al in their ‘Sexual and Gender Minority Health Vulnerabilities During the COVID‐19 Health Crisis’ (2020) further mention that, public health measures, such as social distancing and self-isolation, to protect the public from the pandemic may have unintended consequences for SGM people’s physical and mental health. Social distancing and isolation may lead SGM people to take shelter in dangerous places, and fall prey to experience violence and abuse. Such experiences also lead to cases of  anxiety and depression, increasing risks of suicide, self-harm and controlled substance dependence among the SGM people.

In worst case scenario when a LGBTQ+ person contacts the virus, the absence of love and care from loved ones can be damaging to their mental health. The emotional support from family could help them deal with the recovery process as they have someone to look forward to.

SGM and COVID-19 vaccination

The greater challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ was/is for getting the vaccination. There have been instances where members of the trans community were getting left out of the vaccination drive. One of the main reason for such exclusion is that it first requires the access to the web portal, which includes navigating through the sites, further demanding the need for identification to book a slot for the vaccine. This process can be quite complicated and not everyone has the access to the internet or other related means of access to it, thus creating a digital divide.

Apart from the challenge of booking a slot, there has been speculation regarding the efficacy of the vaccination and the possible side effects, which further limited the chances of them being vaccinated. However, different aid organisations are working towards especially vaccinating the LGBTQ+ community. Their efforts are yielding slow but visible results in vaccinating the community.

                         It can be regarded that the LGBTQ+ community members experienced the COVID-19 pandemic differently. These differences and discriminations always existed and will continue to do so. However, the pandemic has further exaggerated these already existing discriminations. Nevertheless, it is hopeful to anticipate that these discriminations would be reduced someday with collective efforts.

How to sleep better

Can’t figure out how to sleep better? Below are the best techniques for getting better sleep, from sleep experts and neurologists.

1. Keep Clocks Out of Your Bedroom

What’s the biggest change you can make to get more sleep? Don’t look at the clock during sleeping hours, says sleep expert Terry Cralle. Without a clock, the “chore” of falling asleep goes away. You won’t start doing math in your head and worrying about how little sleep you’re getting. If your room is dark and cool and you’re “in the dark” about how much sleep you’ve missed, you’ll most often fall back to sleep soon.

2. Follow a Sleep Schedule

One of the biggest reasons we don’t sleep is that we don’t respect it. “People say they only have time for 4–5 hours a night,” says Cralle. “But that can be dangerous, with studies showing metabolic changes after just a few nights of short sleeping.”

Wondering, “When should I wake up?” Or, “What time should I go to bed?” Try to go to bed as close to the first full darkness as you can, and rise with the sun. Going to sleep at 9pm, 10pm, or 11pm matters less than keeping the same sleep schedule every night.

Is 6 hours of sleep enough?

Getting 6 hours of sleep a night will sap your focus, moods, health, and well-being. Always get 7–9 hours of in-the-bed sleep time, even if you’re awake for some of it. Even if you feel fine after six hours of sleep, your effectiveness suffers.

3. Get More Daylight

Numerous studies show getting more natural light is one of the top techniques for how to sleep better. Yet we’ve got ever brighter screens in laptops and phones. Those screens—and our brightly-lit homes—are sending silent messages to our brains that say, “It’s morning! Go to sleep 12 hours from now.” Trying to override those messages can be like eating a 32-ounce porterhouse steak right after Thanksgiving dinner. Your body will say, “Nope.”

The upside? One-third of US employees work from home at least sometime during the week. That gives us a tremendous opportunity to work on a porch, park bench or in an outdoor cafe. In winter, sit near a window for a few hours in the morning.

4. Have a Coffee Cutoff Time

Tired of being tired? Try switching to decaf after 2pm. Studies show that even drinking coffee 6 hours before bedtime can rob your sleep time.

5. Try Audiobooks

Listening to an audiobook can help you sleep. Turn the volume down and set the playback to its slowest speed. Then set a timer so it shuts off in an hour. Most phones can set a “stop playback” alarm. Here’s how on iPhone and Android.

6. Distraction Techniques

When your mind has a tricky “job to do,” it stays alert. “Some people fall asleep better with a distraction,” says Cralle. So, here are a few tips for how to sleep better with distractions:

The Navy SEAL Technique

Why is sleep important for Navy SEALs? Imagine trying to sleep in the rain, cold, or in a fire zone, when your life depends on being rested. Thankfully, these hardened warriors have a trick that helps them drift off in two minutes.

How to fall asleep:

  1. Sit on the edge of your bed.
  2. Relax the muscles of your face, jaw, tongue, and eyes.
  3. Let your shoulders and arm muscles go slack.
  4. Breathe out. Relax your chest, then thighs, calves, feet, and toes.
  5. Clear your mind for 10 seconds.
  6. Picture one of these three images:
    1. You’re lying in a pit room in a black velvet hammock.
    2. You’re in a canoe on a calm lake with blue sky above.
    3. You repeat the words “don’t think,” for 10 seconds.

The 2-minute Navy SEAL sleep technique works for 96% of sleepers. The downside? It can take six weeks of practice.

How Can Yoga Therapy help?

Yoga therapy meets people where they are, connecting them to their own innate healing potential. Yoga therapy clients report experiencing improved mood, decreased stress and chronic pain, and more. See a sample list of research articles on yoga therapy and yoga.

Women exercising in fitness studio yoga classes

One mechanism researchers have uncovered is yoga’s capacity to affect the nervous system by improving our ability to self-regulate. The practice uses methods that work via both the mind and the body, known in research as top-down and bottom-up regulation. Put simply, top-down regulation uses cognitive tools like meditation and ethical inquiry to affect the state of the body, whereas bottom-up regulation uses the body itself, through movement and breathing techniques, to change the state of the nervous system and to affect thoughts and emotions.

In short, the practice of yoga equips us with a comprehensive toolkit to help support regulation and resilience in the mind-body system. Yoga therapy is the specific use of these tools by a trained practitioner.

Click left or below to find out how individually tailored yoga therapy can help with

  • Chronic pain, including low-back pain, arthritis, premenstrual syndrome (PMS), and other types of pain such as that associated with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome
  • Mental health, including concerns like anxiety, depression, trauma and PTSD, insomnia, and others
  • Neurological issues and complications of stroke, multiple sclerosis (MS), Parkinson’s disease, and traumatic brain injury (TBI)
  • Support for illnesses such as cancer, diabetes, and heart disease
  • Overall well-being (you don’t need to be sick or in pain for yoga therapy to have value!) and healthy aging

Ikigai: why is it Important?

I have been fascinated by the Japanese and their culture for at least ten years now and I have learned a lot from them. Some of the things I am most fascinated by about the Japanese are their longevity (the Japanese have the longest lifespans of any race in the world), the high importance they place on teamwork, social connections and social responsibility, and their incredibly healthy diets.

If you ask someone the reason why the average Japanese lives so long, the answer you will probably receive is, “because they have a healthy diet”. And that answer is mostly correct. But, as it turns out, there might be more to it than simply a healthy diet. It may also have to do with the fact that the Japanese believe in and adhere to something called “ikigai”, which loosely means “reason for being” or “reason for waking up”.

The Japanese take their ikigai seriously and this motivates them in many ways. It is somewhat akin to the word “passion” in English. It may relate to a person’s career or job, but it does not have to. In fact, only about a third of Japanese profess that their ikigai is related to the type of work they do.

Very often, the Japanese will cite social connections and responsibility as their ikigai. For example, the older generation is respected and highly appreciated. Their opinions and experience are valued by society and this allows them to feel a sense of purpose and responsibility towards others. In other words, their lives matter.

Unlike in the West where our passions mostly take into account what we love to do, ikigai also involves doing something that we love, but it also places a lot of emphasis on a group and fulfilling a role that benefits that group as a whole. Many Japanese are part of formal groups called “moai” and they consider their connection to these groups to be very important in their lives.

A fisherman’s ikigai might be to hone his craft so that he can help successfully feed his family, his moai, or the town, village, or city. A grandmother’s ikigai may be to impart wisdom to the younger generation. A traditional chef’s ikigai might involve preserving ancient recipes and passing them on so that every new generation can enjoy traditional Japanese food. A man who conducts the church choir every week might cite that as his ikigai.

Interestingly enough, a lot of research shows that the earlier a person retires, the higher the risk of an earlier death. This could have something to do with inactivity and being sedentary. It also could have something to do with losing one’s “raison d’etre”, or ikigai.

Some people in the West compare ikigai to happiness, but the two are not synonymous. Ikigai refers to finding happiness and joy in the small, day-to-day activities rather than reaching some final goal that promises bliss. It encompasses finding meaning in the small things. In fact, a person’s ikigai gives them a reason for living even when they are unhappy or miserable in the moment. It is what Victor Frankl wrote about in his epic book, Man’s Search For Meaning. In other words, one can still experience his or her ikigai during times of hardship or suffering. It fosters resilience.

How to Find Your Ikigai

Simply put, your ikigai is where what you are good at, what you love, and what your values are, intersect. When all three of these factors are in line and congruent, it is likely that you have found your ikigai. Try to recall a time when you were doing something and were so engrossed in it that you lost track of time and forgot to eat lunch or dinner. This is often referred to as being in the “flow”.

When you pay attention to tasks that seem to “flow” to you, you will find your ikigai and even deepen your association with it. You will find your life to be more meaningful and enjoyable. Once you notice the things that have meaning to you, you must then take the additional step of incorporating more of those types of tasks into your life. In other words, it requires some action and will not just happen on its own.

This also involves eliminating some things that are not harmonious with your values, that you are not good at, or that you do not like to do. Of course, this does not mean that you can get rid of every single task or activity that you do not like (some people do not like to brush their teeth, but it needs to be done anyway). But it does reduce the amount of tasks that are meaningless to you. Some people delegate these “meaningless” tasks to others to create more time for the tasks related to their ikigai.

One important point to note is that, once you find your ikigai, it will help you see the bigger picture and make even some mundane tasks more meaningful. For example, helping others by conducting research and writing this blog is very meaningful to me. I often experience “flow” and lose track of time when I am writing a blog post. However, I have also come to see that proofreading and correcting my mistakes (not my favorite things to do) are necessary in order to create an article that my readers like and can benefit from.

Knowing what your ikigai is (you can have more than one, although I would be suspicious if a person had more than four or five) not only creates more happiness and meaning in your life, it also can help you live a longer and healthier life. It makes sense if you really think about it: a person is more likely to jump out of bed each morning with vigor if he knows that the tasks he has to perform will make him more proficient at it, happier, and make a difference in the world. Knowing your ikigai also increases the likelihood of you taking better care of your health because your life has meaning.

Knowing your ikigai can be one of the most rewarding things in a person’s life. What is yours?

How to study productively at home

Are you struggling to be productive while studying online? This unexpected situation is not easy for anyone. We each have to create a new temporary lifestyle! Here are a few tips from Les Roches Global Hospitality Education to help you make the most of your time at home.

Create a designated study area

It is important to separate your studying and leisure spaces to avoid distractions. Your ideal studying area should be quiet, organized, free from distractions and comfortable: so avoid studying in your bed as you might be tempted to take a nap!

Manage your time

Create a plan to help you organize your time and keep track of your daily tasks. You’ll be more effective and feel in control of your day. Scheduling breaks is also helpful. Consider separating study subjects with breaks to help you focus.

Prioritize your daily tasks to achieve

At the end of the day, make sure your tasks have been carried out, and if they haven’t, put them back on your to-do list. Carry them out on the next day according to their priority, but try not to fall behind!

Be ready with questions

Keep track of each topic covered and prepare specific questions if needed. You may want to ask your teacher to clarify any unclear points during live sessions or in discussion forums.

Reward yourself

Striking a task off your to-do list is satisfying on its own, but when you finish a task, consider rewarding yourself with something you enjoy to keep yourself motivated!

Stay connected with your peers and teachers

Human connections are essential, so it’s important to create a support network to stay in touch with others. There are many ways to stay in contact virtually. For instance, you can attend virtual classrooms, take part in discussions boards, or organize a videoconference with your peers, for group work, a study circle, or just to hang out and decompress.

Build your routine

If you’re not used to this study from home situation, it’s critical to establish a routine. For instance, set an alarm, wake up, and get dressed to get yourself into a productive mood. Treat your day like any other, whether you’re going into school or not.

Human behaviour is largely a function of learned habits. To build a new routine, you need to start by forming new habits which will help your brain switch to automatic mode. Based on various studies, it often takes around 21 days to form a habit, so start now!

The situation around the coronavirus requires a high-level adaption. It is indeed challenging, but it’s an opportunity for you to learn and practice self-discipline which is a critical skill to have in life. Learn more about how Les Roches Global Hospitality Education can help you develop the skills you need for a great career.

How BTS Saved Millions of Lives

BTS

In 2013, a group of seven boys, all from different backgrounds, who left behind their friends and family to follow their dream of becoming K-pop artistes, were about to debut. But soon afterwards, their hopes were crushed as the bad press from the media, internal strife and lack of proper finance forced them to almost disband multiple times. But they kept on fighting for their dream, even if that meant living in one cramped dorm room and having to beg people to come to their concerts. These boys had very humble beginnings – one of the members, Yoongi, recently had a surgery to repair a torn shoulder labrum. The tear was related to an injury that occurred in 2012, when the performer was hit by a car during one of his delivery-boy shifts.

Flash forward to years later, that same group of boys from South Korea, Bangtan Sonyeondan (BTS), are now one of the biggest boy bands in the world. Among other outstanding achievements, they have multiple No. 1 albums in the US Billboard Hot 100, 15 Guinness World Records and over 300 awards. BTS are the youngest recipients of South Korea’s Order of Cultural Merit award and the first ever K-pop act to receive a Grammy nomination. They are changing the world and the face of K-pop forever, paving the way for others.

For years, BTS struggled to get their music heard. They were not an overnight success, like some people might believe. But because of their struggles and despite of it, they became worldwide superstars and South Korea’s pride and joy. BTS refuse to be confined within the boundaries of the “K-pop” industry, instead often experimenting with different, versatile styles and musical genres like Hip-Hop, Jazz, EDM, R&B, Latin pop, Ballad, Country and Rock among others. Each of the seven members embody various roles and positions in the group, such as dancer, vocalist, leader, rapper, producer, choreographer, and more.

BTS

BTS’s music transcends language, time and cultural barriers; their raw and relatable lyrics resonates with people, going through different stages of life. The healing power of their music does not discriminate. The majority of their self-written and self-produced songs discuss socio-political issues found in contemporary society such as mental health, toxic-masculinity, women’s empowerment, self-love, capitalism, burn-out and the struggles of growing up among other things. Most of their topics are still taboo in the culturally-conservative Asia and are often brushed away as non-existent.

The Korean music industry is known for their “manufactured” and “engineered” sound, where the artistes themselves have no say in what they are singing about, but instead, have their music written and produced by a group of professionals fit for the industry standards. BTS breaks all those preconceived rules by having a voice in their own music. They have started a new trend for Korean singers to explore more complex and impactful themes.

These motifs are often seen in both their studio albums and individual mixtapes. In their latest album “BE”, which was released on November 20, 2020, BTS shared their experiences and hopes during the pandemic, as they as embrace “Be”-ing in this new reality. The relatable lyrics and catchy beats in titles like “Fly to my Room”, “Dis-ease”, “Stay” and “Telepathy” are contrasted with the raw, emotional ballads like “Blue & Grey” and “Life Goes On”.

This album also features their first ever completely English language song, “Dynamite”. It consoles anyone struggling with their mental health during these times and is a beacon of hope for listeners that everything will be okay and life goes on. To me, this album feels like a warm hug from a loved one on a cold winter morning.

BTS’s fans, known as ARMY (short for Adorable Representative MC for Youth) are a group of passionate and creative individuals, from all walks of life, who stand by BTS and each other through thick and thin. Shehrin Tabassum Odri, a digital marketer and an ARMY since 2018, shared her story of how much of an impact BTS has had in her life. “When I was at my loneliest, having hit rock bottom and losing the will to live, BTS was there for me. It was the day they released their ‘Life Goes On’ music video,” she says. “The song was like a wakeup call. It made me realise how many future opportunities and loved ones I will be losing if I give up now and that I’m not the only one feeling this miserable and lost, the members of BTS have gone through this phase too. If they have found a way to stay hopeful for the future to change and better times to come, maybe I should hold on a bit longer too. BTS gave me the hope to keep living.”

 “In conservative countries like ours, masculinity is associated with tall, bearded men with deep voices,” mentions Sumaiya Islam, a Nuclear Science and Engineering student.  “In a society where men struggle to be vulnerable and be seen as ‘manly’ enough, BTS breaks the gender norms by wearing makeup, jewellery, gender-neutral clothes, and long, colourful hair. They have completely changed my viewpoint on Asian men.”  Sumaiya has been an ARMY since 2018.

Atanu Roy Chowdhury shared that the band makes him feel “seen”. “Mental health is affecting our lives, but people don’t want to talk about it.  BTS is using the universal language of music to tell the world how important mental health is,” he says. “One of my closest friends died by suicide in 2012, and there are times when it still breaks my heart thinking that I will never see her or talk to her again. Songs from BTS albums help to ease the pain.  Having my favourite musicians talk about such issues makes me feel more connected to them.”

By breaking down age-old, ignorant ideas like “men don’t cry” and “only girls can wear makeup”, openly talking about their struggles and sharing their emotions, BTS are showing the world that gender does not have to confine anyone and there should be no one standard of being. Group members Min Yoongi (Suga), Kim Namjoon (RM) and recently, Kim Taehyung (V) and Kim Seokjin (Jin), are known for being open about their struggles with anxiety, depression and burn-out. “I have been called ‘girly’ because I like cooking, cleanliness and keeping my hair long. Even the way I walk has been criticised. Terms like ‘girly’ and ‘gay’ are so easily used as insults, when they should not be,” adds Atanu. “Toxic masculinity is so ingrained in us, and it affects people of all ages. BTS is fighting a difficult fight, and kudos to them for that!” Seeing someone like BTS’ Jungkook be named “Sexiest International Man Alive 2020”, in a sphere usually dominated by white men, can do wonders for brown, Asian men worldwide, giving them an ideal person they can actually relate to.  Another ARMY, Niaz Ahmed, shared that messages from the band to “Love Yourself” (a trilogy of their albums in 2018) resonated with him. “Their music was eye-opening, and helped me to start thinking that being happy with who I am is very important,” he says.

Subyeta Sarwar mentioned how being a part of the BTS fandom in Bangladesh has helped her connect with other ARMYs easily, creating deep bonds and long-lasting friendships. Going to different events such as the BD Korean Festival, hosted by BD K-Family, has helped her socialise and meet fellow ARMYs. Since there is a lack of K-pop concerts in Bangladesh, these events are the closest fans can get to experiencing them.

 For fans who have been with BTS for a couple of years like myself, it feels like we are growing up with them, experiencing the highs and lows of their lives and career alongside them, not as a distant fan, but as a close friend. There is a popular saying in the fandom, “If you are not a fan of BTS now, it’s because you’re not at a point where you need them yet. Just wait, they’ll find you and come to you when you need to be healed, never too early or too late.”

In the pop-dominated culture we live in, BTS have successfully utilised their music platform to spread the message of social inequality and injustice, which the youth often face. By speaking up about these issues, BTS are not only breaking the preconceived societal stereotypes and creating awareness, they are also urging their fans to do the same. To quote the group’s leader, Kim Namjoon (RM), from his UNICEF speech at the United Nations in 2018, “No matter who you are, where you’re from, your skin colour, gender identity: speak yourself.” 

How to improve Loving Mindful relationships?

Plenty of exercise. Healthy food. Positive attitude. Plain old good luck. There’s lots of advice out there about how to keep body and brain in optimal shape as the years roll by.

But Louis Cozolino, professor of psychology at Pepperdine University, is deeply engaged with another idea. In Cozolino’s book, Timeless: Nature’s Formula for Health and Longevity, he emphasizes the positive impact of human relationships.

“How we bond and stay attached to others is at the core of our resilience, self-esteem, and physical health,” Cozolino writes. “We build the brains of our children through our interaction with them, and we keep our own brains growing and changing throughout life by staying connected to others.”

Mindful Couple

5 Effective ways to strengthen your relationship:

Spend time with the right people

We generally become more and more like the people with whom we spend our time. The more we see someone model a behavior and see that behavior being reinforced in positive ways, the more likely we are to try it out ourselves—whether it’s a friend having success with a new exercise routine or a partner staying calm during disagreements by tuning into their breath.

One of the most fundamental ways to make sure your relationships are helping you grow is to surround yourself with the right people. Some relationships frustrate us, some make us happy, and some challenge us (and some relationships do all three!). While it isn’t always easy to stop and start relationships, of course, we can aim to spend more time with the people who challenge us.

Create goals with others

Who says that goal setting should be a solitary venture?

When we share our goals with others, we immediately have someone to keep us accountable. It is difficult to stay on track with a goal all the time, but it’s easier if we have someone to help us work through an obstacle or pick us up when we fall.

The social support that we receive from others is incredibly powerful, particularly during those tough times. When the pressure is high, those who have greater levels of social support tend to experience less stress.

We may also be more motivated when we are working toward a goal with someone else. Think about being pushed by a running mate to jog a little faster than you would otherwise. Or giving up your Saturday for a service project because a friend is doing the same thing. Sometimes we need someone else to inspire us to be our best.

Ask for feedback

It’s usually up to us to decide on the areas where we could use some self-improvement. And while this process of self-reflection is important, we can sometimes be bad judges of our own abilities; we usually assume we know much more than we actually do. So why not look to our relationships as a source of feedback about where we can improve?

Feedback is crucial for our development. Research has shown that when we seek feedback and use it as an opportunity for growth, we are more likely to improve over time. How much faster would that process be if we went and asked for feedback instead of waiting for it to come? Imagine your partner’s reaction if you were to ask for feedback on what you could have done differently after a big fight, or how blown away your teenager would be if you asked how you could be a better parent this school year.

Our positive relationships represent a safe space for us to work on ourselves with support from people who care about us. But sometimes we have to make the first move and ask for that support.

Use your broader network

Just like financial capital, social capital is a valuable resource that we can invest in for our own good. The more meaningful relationships we have, the more social resources become available. We often find work or beloved hobbies through our relationships, even at three or four degrees of separation—like your brother’s wife’s friend, who heard about that great new job opening.

In addition to exposing us to new ideas, activities, and opportunities, social capital also frees us up to do more of the things we are good at when we find others to help with the things we aren’t as good at. This has benefits at home and at work: For example, employees are more engaged when they get to spend more time using their strengths. And teenagers are happier and less stressed when their parents focus on building their strengths.

Be grateful

Gratitude has long been promoted as a way of increasing our happiness, but it also motivates us toward self-improvement. If you want a simple boost from your relationships, you can start by just practicing gratitude for them. The act of being thankful can increase our confidence and encourage us to move forward with our goals, perhaps because it tends to make us feel more connected to people and creates feelings of elevation—a strong positive emotion that comes when we see others do good deeds.

So think about someone who has helped you a great deal in the past, and reach out to thank them. Not only will that exchange feel good for both of you, but it might also reignite a relationship that can spark your further growth.

Habits of successful people that you can take up. 

Getting ahead or wealthy in life can be challenging. There are certain daily habits one must follow to achieve success. These habits enable people to use their potential and get things done on time. Many successful and wealthy people are said to have followed or maintained these habits to get to where they are today. So let us do ourselves a favor today by learning about some of these habits. 

1.Positive Attitude

This is an image for positive attitude.
Photo by Andres Ayrton on Pexels.com

Everyday isn’t going to be a bliss in our lives. Instead, each day brings with it a challenge and problem of its own. But we don’t have to be upset or defeated by them. A positive attitude is one of the key habits of successful people that you can adopt. It is the habit of finding positive attributes in every challenge you face. 

You might be overwhelmed and swamped with problems in your lives, but the idea that one day you will emerge as a resilient and a strong person after going through them can be relatively less draining.

After all, we can only control our reactions and not our circumstances. 

2. Sharing

This is an image of sharing.
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

The path to success is not always about solitude. It requires you to share your ideas with others and even help others. One doesn’t have to be super rich to help or share with people around them. You can share your ideas with people that can benefit you as well as them. Volunteering for a cause is also a great idea of helping and sharing with your community. 

3. Reading

This is an image of reading.
Photo by Dayan Rodio on Pexels.com

J.K. Rowling says that she used to read anything that comes her way as a child. She states that one must read as much as possible as nothing is as rewarding as reading. Today there are books, e-books and blogs being written on every possible field. You can read from a wide range of reading materials based on your fields of interest. 

Reading also helps you develop your vocabulary. You can post or publish your own writings based on the knowledge and vocabulary you have gained by your readings. 

4. Being frugal

This is an image of being frugal.
Photo by Katie Harp on Pexels.com

Frugality is the habit of being cautious with expenditures. Successful people are very thrifty with their money and resources. They draw comparisons while making deals or purchases and find ways to save money. It is also known as being economical. Economically spending can result in reduction of wastage on resources and money. Thus leading to efficiency. 

5. Rising Early

This is an image for rising early.
Photo by Josh Hild on Pexels.com

Success and wealth has often been associated with the habit of rising early. Early risers can devote more time to their work and get more things done. It is again one of the key habits of successful people that you can adapt. There are several benefits of rising early in the morning such as:

  1. Enhancement of organisation skills as you plan your day ahead under a peaceful and calm environment in the mornings. 
  2. Rising early gives you enough time to prepare a healthy breakfast which is important to carry on the following tasks of the day. 
  3. Rising early puts you at the advantage of being on time. You get the following tasks of the day done without any delay. 
  4. Finally, early rising also helps you sleep early without leaving you watching your phone during midnight. 

These are some of the habits of successful people you can adopt to be successful yourself. 

How to Live a Healthier Lifestyle

The phrase ‘healthy lifestyle’ is an abbreviated definition of what it looks like to live a vibrant, active life with a healthy body and healthy mind. Creating a healthy lifestyle doesn’t have to mean drastic changes. Making gradual small changes to your daily routine can have a big impact.

What Is a Healthy Lifestyle?
You know the obvious behaviors that describe someone who is healthy and takes care of themselves. A healthy person doesn’t smoke, tries to maintain a healthy weight, eats healthy foods with plenty of fruits, vegetables and fiber and, of course, exercises on a regular basis.

Then there are other elements to add to the list. A healthy person also knows how to manage stress, gets good quality sleep each night, doesn’t drink too much, doesn’t sit too much—basically, does everything in moderation all the time. When you look at everything that could possibly go into a healthy lifestyle, you can see just how hard all of those things are in our current world.



The good news is, you don’t have to change everything at the same time. In fact, the trick to healthy living is making small changes—taking more steps each day,1 adding fruit to your cereal, having an extra glass of water, or saying no to that second helping of buttery mashed potatoes. One thing you can do right now to make your lifestyle healthier is to move more.



Benefits of Physical Activity
You know you need to exercise, but there are many excuses not to do it. You’re too busy, don’t know where to start, you’re not motivated or you’re afraid you’ll injure yourself. Maybe you think exercise has to be really hard or it isn’t good enough.

Whatever definition you have about what exercise is or isn’t, the bottom line is that exercise is movement. Whether it’s walking around the block or running a marathon, that movement is exercise and every time you move more than you normally do, it counts.


Healthy Weight Loss or Maintenance
Even if you opt for small changes, the benefits are still pretty amazing. For example, increasing your activity level can help you to reach and maintain a healthy weight. If you are currently overweight, small steps toward that goal can have an impact.

Handling Criticism Like A Pro

Everyone of us, at some point in our lives, would have faced criticism in one form or the other (except of course if we’ve chosen to shut ourselves up in a room and not attempt anything at all in life). It might be about anything – about what you have said or done or not done or the way you dress or about your work, the list just goes on. Criticism pops up everywhere. It’s as much a part and parcel of our lives as the air we breathe, and hence learning how to deal with it gracefully is an important life skill to have.

Is Criticism good for you ?

Criticism, wrapped up and delivered even in the best of the packaging, is not something that anybody actually enjoys. The instant reaction to it in most cases is to close ourselves up and get into defensive mode. So identifying whether it’s constructive or destructive is a key step that’ll help you in figuring out whether it’s good or bad for you.

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com

So, what exactly is Constructive and Destructive criticism ?

Constructive Criticism is a way of giving feedback with an intention of helping you improve yourself. It not just points out your mistakes and weaknesses, but also includes suggestions for improvement and the actions that need to be taken. It can be considered as that much needed reality check which we all need from time to time. 

Destructive Criticism on the other hand is given with the sole intention of tearing you down. The reasons for doing that may be many – jealousy, insecurities, ignorance, complexes, boredom etc. Here, instead of commenting on the actions of a person, the focus mainly is on attacking the person and pulling him down. The critic in this case, is not in the least interested in your well being or improvement.

So, as you might have figured out by now, constructive criticism more often than not, represents an opportunity. It helps you in identifying your weaknesses, which you might otherwise be unaware of and enables you to see things from a different perspective. Whereas destructive criticism is more or less an attempt by a person to let his steam off at the expense of others. 

How do you identify them ?

Honestly, when you are out there at the receiving end, identifying whether it’s constructive or destructive would probably be the last thing on your mind. But before you pounce on your critic, just pause and take a deep breath. Wait, what ? Yes you read it right. Pause and take a deep breath (Remember, deep breath not an annoyed sigh ! You don’t want to worsen the situation, do you ?) Let the emotions flow through you. Do not restrict it but also do not take it out on the other person.It’s not easy but it’s definitely doable. If you find it hard to refrain yourself from blowing a fuse, excuse yourself and take some time out before responding. Setting your emotions aside and getting into a frame of mind where you are calm enough to analyse the situation rationally, is the most difficult but important step to take, while facing criticism. 

Once you have calmed yourself down, listen to the other person without interrupting. By listening, I meant active listening and not just nodding along while thinking about ways on how to attack the critic back. Allow the other person to share their thoughts and comments completely. While listening, focus on the content of the comment and not on the tone. Sometimes even the best intended criticisms may sound harsh or even worse, the most toxic comments may be presented in the most tactful manner. So it’s very important that you detach the content from the tone.

At this point, you can try and  repeat back what you have heard and understood. Be careful to do that in a non aggressive tone. By repeating back, you are not only making sure that you aren’t misinterpreting their comments, but also helping yourself understand the comment better. When you take a step back and remove yourself from the equation and focus just on the comment, chances are that you may be able to view it through a different lens. At this stage, by analysing it objectively, you will be able to figure out the intention behind it – whether you are actually being attacked or is it just your ego playing tricks on you.

If you are still confused, seek clarification. Break it down and  ask questions. When you are asking questions, do it with an open mind and not with an intention to prove the other person wrong. You can ask for specific examples to get better clarity on the issue raised or ask for suggestions on how the situation could have been handled differently. Be genuinely curious in finding the intention. If the critic actually means well, he’ll be able to give you answers or suggestions or atleast give you valid and logical reasons to back his comment, which might help you to see things from the critic’s perspective. Destructive criticism shatters under scrutiny – no logic, no reasons, nothing but just a set of toxic statements thrown at you with the sole intention of hurting your self-esteem and  pulling you down.

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How to deal with criticism ?

So now that you have calmly analysed the issue and identified whether the criticism was meant to help you or to tear you down, it’s time to take action. 

Okay, but before that, you may now take a moment to appreciate yourself for successfully pulling off the I-Can-Be-Calm-No-Matter-What version of you. A little bit of self appreciation always helps to put that vulnerable little child inside you in a better mood. 

Alright, now that you are slightly in a better mood, let’s get to business. Let’s say you have identified the criticism to be toxic, what do you think you should do next ?  Tell them that their points are baseless ? Make them understand that you are right and argue until you prove your point ? Or give them a taste of their own medicine and criticise them ? Well, the best course of action here would be to ignore. Ignore ? Seriously? But how can you just walk away when somebody is attacking you and challenging your self worth?   

Well, it might sound all philosophical and seem like something that only people roaming about with a halo around their heads can do. But trust me, it is the most logical thing to do,  given such a situation. Think about it, here is a person who is trying to derogate and destroy your self-esteem, confidence and reputation using some baseless and illogical set of arguments. Do you think if that person was logical enough he would have stooped to this level ? No matter what you do, understand that he has come with a closed mindset and a fixed agenda, that is,to insult you. Nothing you say or do is going to knock sense into that person’s head. And moreover it’s not even your responsibility to do that.There’s no point in wasting your time and energy on such people, so just let it go. Politely excuse yourself, thank the person for the feedback and move on with your life. 

Now, let’s come to constructive criticism. When you receive it, ask yourself ‘Does this align with my priorities ?’ For example, you might be criticised for not making that perfect pasta or for being lousy at tennis. Ask yourself, does it really matter ? Is this really a priority in your life ? Well, depending upon your goals, it might or might not be. In any case it is important that you identify that. And if the suggestion doesn’t align with your priorities, even though it is constructive, there is no point investing too much of your time in it. So, take note of it and ask for suggestions on how to improve, if you feel a need for that and move on.And hey, don’t forget to thank your critic !

Now, what if it aligns with your priorities ? Then set your ego aside and  ask yourself – ‘Deep down, do I agree with what is being said ?’  If you can’t bring yourself to agree to it, respectfully disagree. Present your side of the story. Engage in a constructive discussion.Chances are that when you do it, the other person may understand your perspective or vice-versa.Either way it’s a win-win. However, there are chances that you both might not come to a conclusion at all. Accept the fact that everyone is entitled to have their own opinions and perspectives and it’s perfectly okay not to be on the same page always. So just agree to disagree and peacefully move on.

Finally, let’s say that the little voice inside your head secretly agrees to all the charges that you are accused of. In that case, buckle up, it’s time for action. If you find that there is truth in what the other person has said, then do not shy away from acknowledging it. Analyse the comment, deconstruct it and figure out what needs to be addressed and what measures need to be taken to learn and evolve from your mistakes. You may even take suggestions from your critic on the steps that need to be taken. Accepting your mistakes and learning from them is a great way to kick-start your journey of self improvement. 

Bottom Line

Criticism comes in all shapes and forms. Neither can you avoid it nor can you control the way others perceive you. The only thing you have control over is your attitude towards it and the way you choose to respond to it. It is important that you identify the intent behind it and take action accordingly. And depending on it, you can either use the criticism as a foundation to build a better future for yourself or choose to ignore it if it’s not worthy of your time and energy. Having said that, I also want you to know that developing a positive attitude towards criticism is not something that comes easy. It takes time, patience and hell a lot of practice. So be gentle with yourself; take it one step at a time. And while you are at it, don’t forget to acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest of your milestones. Good Luck !

No Judgement Club

Being out of the box and not following being a part of the rat race is the new black.

Being trapped inside the box of “log kya kahenge” is something that we all have faced and we still do even if we deny it. With the parents and guardians being supportive and the youth being overtly conscious and aware of their rights, we, as a generation, as a club of the 2000’s, the “gen-z club” are trying to freely reign the things that we want to do ignoring any type of judgement and pushing away the people who pull us down.   

We are conquering the world of nonlinear growth pattern and not focusing on the aligned growth pattern which means that we do not focus on just the “conservative” idea of growth. We do not indulge into working like a robot but focus on a nonaligned growth pattern which means that we not only love to work but also focus on our mental health. We understand that we are not in a rat race and believe in living our lives in a comfortable manner.

Why is mental health important? 

There is a clear connection between mental health and academic
performance. Mental health is important for person’s growth just like
a person’s physical health. Imagine working with a broken arm, will
you be able to work? No. Then why should someone with anxiety
disorders, paranoia, depression, etc., are expected to work efficiently
when they can’t even process their mind the way they want to.

Social media and positivity 

Being a generation with extreme activeness on the social media, we have made social media a happy, comforting place for everyone. Social media positivity helps us bear things. With innumerable creators creating content that helps us ignore the negativity and LIVE. 

Log kya hi keh lenge! 

When we start, when we initiate, the paradigm shifts, the pattern starts changing. We have to hold hands and work together. We all can shift the attention from “log kya kahenge” to “log kya hi keh lenge” and then see how the world changes, how we conquer the art of living and being a generation that creates better adults. 

Let It Out

We the creatures of this planet are born with numerous feelings and emotions and as soon as we get hold of ourselves we decide for ourselves if a certain emotions are important for us or not. And the emotion that gets the last place in this not so perfect ranking is the feeling that portray us as sentimental, weak, and quite vulnerable that of crying, venting out all that we have deep buried inside us through our eyes, tears as people call them are what we find the heaviest to let out and yet heavier to carry within us. The vulnerability that we believe surrounds us every time we emit sentiments or feelings that are emotionally draining turns us into some being that isn’t comfortable about their own emotions and consequently we crawl further into ourselves becoming more of an emotional wreck than an emotional person.

The salty water that is emitted every time we experience any sort of emotional trouble or low can actually turn in to the best kind of respite from the burden that this world puts on us. The relieving of our tensions through our eyes is quite normal and in fact healthy. Taking into the acceptance that we are having a bad day and that crying it out might be the best part of the day then one must do that. With all the responsibilities and tensions of the world we definitely need some type of respite from that hectic schedule and mostly people want to run away from it but crying can actually be the medicine we need on a long day. Though different people have different ways of getting themselves back after a heavy day but if letting out the tears is your way you must not shy away from it.

A common stereotype that makes people control their tears to the extent that they start getting uneasy and it becomes unhealthy is that of crying being associated with weakness, while in reality it has to be quite strong of a person to be vulnerable enough to own this emotional self that they make of themselves. Physical health has always got priority over mental health for a very long time in the past. But now as the times are changing and we as human beings are evolving the significance of taking care of our mental health has been increasing to the extent that people are normalizing the act of crying as the perfect humanly behavior and no connection whatsoever with it being the deed of the coward or the weak. In fact keeping it in is considered much less brave and as more of the action of those who are not familiar with their own weak side and in consequence do not know themselves inside out.

There is no insistence on crying out loud in front of the people we know or not know, but rather it is about letting out of the fear which resides within us, the fear of losing it all, the fear of staying the emotional wreck for the rest of our lives, the fear of going away from sanity, the fear of knowing the weak, vulnerable person that we actually are, the fear of people knowing or seeing our not so perfect side, the fear of getting everything to its worst end, the fear of not making ourselves what we thought of, the fear of not getting back on our feet, the fear of unknown, the fear that makes us let it out.

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The Digital Well Being

We the people of new, technologically developed world have a way around the advance, next-gen, electronic in such a fashion that it has started affecting our health to the extent of the worst.  The toll that excessive screen-time can have on being’s health is of major concern in today’s highly advanced times. Be it a small town or a big city, be it a young kid or an old man, be it the middle-class or the rich, be it a third-world citizen or a first world citizen, everyone has an excessively disturbing effect on health. With the rays that are responsible of the operation of these electronics are said to be harmful as that causing a heart-attack. Along with many other health- problems the cutting- off from the real world around has to be one of the most unwanted affect. As the world moves forward in the digital world, it moves backward in the health status in the real world.

Ramifications

There are numerous effects in a variety of ways on the human being because of the too much interaction with the virtual world. These effects are not only too harmful but sometimes even life-threatening.

 Repercussions on Physical health=

The prolonged hours in front of the screen can lead to a number of physical health problems. These can cause health issues like obesity, weak eyesight, neck and back problems.

With people sitting in front of the screens for hours in the same place can lead them to eat unhealthily and excessively. They become more prone to junk food as an instant food is better than the one taking time to cook. The unhealthy food habits that develop because of the increased hours of sitting, makes the person obese sometimes to the extent of no return to a healthy body.

Weakening of the eyesight is one of the most disturbing affect when more than enough hours are spent in front of the screen. The blue light from the screen can cause problems like eye fatigue and blurry vision. Fatigue can cause inability to look clearly at night.

People usually sit in one place for hours while using screen and those positions can cause neck and back problems as sitting in not so comfortable positions can lead to neck, shoulder and back pains, these pains can be higher than we think. Too much screen time snatches away the person of the sleep that comes to them naturally. As studies have found that people generally tend to stretch their screen time by spending time late at nights, causing sleep related problems, generally loss of sleep.

Mental health =

Depression has been indicated as one of the worst effects of increased screen time along with anxiety. The use of too much of phones, laptops, etc can lead to drop in mental health as they tend to damage the brain cells and thereby making the case of one’s mental health further worse.

Students have generally experienced lack of concentration while studying as the excess of screen time robs them off their focus while learning something new and for the first time. The attention span reduces and the sitting hour for actually learning or studying suffers.

With sleep deprivation and lack of focus as is the effect of some drug addiction, screen time leads to irritable behaviour along with person becoming an emotional wreck. People usually involved in screen time addiction end up staying alone for hours and there by affecting their mental stability and health.

Detoxification

The screen time usage can be restrained by detoxification. There are a number of ways of detoxifying, which is the act of staying away from the screen for a specific period of time so as to reduce the effects that it might have on physical and or mental health.

Switching off the applications is proved to be one of the best ways of staying away from the screen when not so required. Turning them off gives people to more time to spend on other things than just the screen.

Resorting to other activities whenever the person finds some free time instead of gadgets can help them restore their concentration and focus. With recreational activities such as reading, writing, painting, playing any instrument etc can be beneficial for the recharging of the brains.

Making a proper routine to follow including the correction of sleep cycle has to be one of the best ways to regain the lost mental and physical health. With a good night sleep, the less strain on the eyes could bring down the eyes fatigue and irritability levels.

Physically being active is very important if you spend hours in front of the screen. Exercising has been a proven treatment to a lot of health problems and here too definitely is going to be beneficial. With the hours of sitting at least one hour of exercise makes the person gain the lost stamina and physical abilities.

Yoga and meditation have had been famous in India now for quite a long time. These two have proved to be the best cure for most the mental health related problems. Thus even only fifteen to twenty minutes of meditation shows tremendous positive effect on mental health of a being.

Maladaptive Daydreaming

Daydreaming is our break from reality. We all have our own imaginary situations going on in our mind. Who doesn’t like to wander and take a break from reality. But, what If you were unable to live in the reality due to your daydreaming? What If your escape found no route back to the real world? That is what Maladaptive Daydreaming is all about.

What is Maladaptive Daydreaming?

Maladaptive Daydreaming is a condition where the person is unable to touch his feet to the ground(reality) due to his feet touching a consolidated and intense imaginary ground.
The common observable symptoms are as follows:

•Escaping the reality by making up an alternate world and living in it for hours.
•Well structured plots with defined storyline and settings
•Lasts for several minutes to several hours.
•Withdrawal from social activities and relationships due to the extensive and intense daydreaming.
•Trouble while focusing in everyday tasks.
•Trouble sleeping
•Daydreaming becomes an addiction where you no longer have control on it and feel empty If not engaging in it. It becomes the top priority of the day
•Talking to yourself and making faces.

What triggers the daydreams?

•Real life events
•conversation topic
•movie
•noise or smell

Why some people may resort to it unknowingly?

Intense daydreaming may act as a coping strategy. A person who is tired of his daily mundane lifestyle, traumatic past or present, may find daydreaming as a comfort zone rather than a mere temporary escape.
During Covid 19 lockdown many people experienced something similar due to the elimination of interactions and activities from their lives.

How Is it different from daydreaming?

•Daydreaming acts as an temporary escape. It is rather a pleasant experience whenever the reality goes harsh on us.
Maladaptive Daydreaming is rather creating one’s own comfort zone in an imaginative alternate reality and withdrawing from reality

• Daydreams are usually about pleasant scenarios or our imaginary future.
Maladaptive Daydreaming can be pleasant too. However, it also involves well defined plots about control,power,sex,rescue.

•Daydreams start and end in our minds. It just makes us feel happy.
Maladaptive Daydreaming may be accompanied by movements, talking to oneself and facial expressions. The person gets deeply involved in his alternate reality.

Is Maladaptive Daydreaming considered as a disorder?

Maladaptive Daydreaming was first defined in 2002 and is not yet recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).

Does Maladaptive Daydreaming has a treatment?

There is no official treatment method for Maladaptive Daydreaming. There is no method to diagnose it either. However,Somer developed the Maladaptive Daydreaming Scale (MDS) which helps to determine if a person is experiencing Maladaptive Daydreaming.
Maladaptive Daydreaming is often diagnosed as Schizophrenia in which a person is unable to differentiate fantasy from reality.

What are the effects of Maladaptive Daydreaming?

Though a person indulges in extensive fantasizing to protect himself from anxiety, trauma, depression or obsessive compulsive disorder, however,it may lead to negative effects on one’s emotions, social life and mental well being. Some of the effects are as follows:

•Emotional Distress. After daydreaming so extensively one may feel emotionally worse due to their energy and concentration being highly invested in a reality which yields nothing and is above all, imaginary.

•It is common among people suffered from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and may lead the person to suffer from anxiety, restlessness and attention deficiency.

•A person may spend 4.5 hours of his day engaging in intense daydreaming. Therefore, withdrawing from social activities, interactions and an active lifestyle.

• The person is unable to focus on what is going on and fails to grasp responsibilities,tasks,and studies. They may find it tiring and draining.

However,It can be managed through living an active lifestyle, engaging in interactions and meditating to keep the urge and the anxiety at bay. The human mind is indeed a world of its own. Sometimes,we alone cannot control it. Consulting a psychologist and talking about it may give us more insight into the condition.Withdrawal and Isolation may end up making the condition worse.

Good Vibes Only

Source: svgfiles.us

Vibes are natural. They can be so easily faked by certain overly positive phrases similar to the title, that it becomes more difficult for us to experience sadness as just another part of our lives. Sadness is a valid emotional state. Let no post, quote or smiling person tell you it’s not

You see, juices too have the tag ‘Natural’ written in front of the tetra packets with a huge list of ingredients at the back. Good vibes is sold in somewhat a similar manner. ‘Good vibes only’ written in the front with tons of unsolved situations, sadness, depression, melancholy hiding behind.

But their Intentions are good,right?

Yes, just like the beauty brands which have good and pure intentions. Just like beauty brands want you to feel good and look good by using THEIR products, THEIR way and THEIR standards. Just like the whispering about how you should look to be perceived as glamourous behind the simple phrases like ‘Look good, feel good, be you’.
‘Good vibes only’ is a phrase which has become overly common on social media platforms. ‘Good Vibes’ are possible but ‘Only’ is less of a motivational advice and more of a ‘This is how you should feel’. On careful observation you will find it to be a sweet manipulation. And we buy it! So they sell it.
Just like we change ourselves little by little by falling for this fake goodness, we also remain unaware of the term called ‘mental health’. Even the well known writers were not born with good vibes pouring from them. It was their sadness, hurdles, frustrations,teenage,failures and gloomy days which had built them up.

Self Help Books promote good vibes too. What about them?

They promote good vibes while also putting forward the lesson that it cannot be achieved in a day. The writers often give a piece of their own past lifestyles while explaining the change in them or by mentioning the journey of some other renowned personality’s life. In the books it is often directly or indirectly mentioned how failures and hurdles help you understand the difference between wants and needs. Pleasure and purpose. Wrong and right. To be or to do.
The self help books are like a manual to an improved life. Sometimes our obsession to be positive makes us buy tons of self help books. But honestly, you need one, two or maximum three authors to know HOW to be positive. Such books are rather a process put forward which can help us be positive rather than a huge command asking us to BE POSTIVE straightaway.

So, we should be sad?

We should enjoy that emotion equally. In my previous article I had mentioned how you should accept your emotions. Its okay to feel how you feel. Its okay to have mental disorders. Its okay to be cynical. Its okay to be pessimist.
Feedback is necessary to improve yourselves. You get judged once, you ignore it and you may ignore it even after few more judgements regarding the same aspect of yours. But when many people will point that same aspect of yours again and again, you will know that there is indeed something wrong about it. That is how you understand where you need to improve. That is when you may start self introspection. Asking for feedback or getting unwanted feedbacks is not a pleasant experience. It never is. So what? You will cut them of? You will perceive them as someone who is jealous of you? Someone who eludes bad vibes?

In such a case you need to understand that your ‘good vibes’ is being fueled by ego. Surround yourself with people who do judge you. Sometimes you effortlessly get surrounded by such people. Sometimes, that is what even true friends do. They point it out on your face. We do need a second person’s perspective of us to know ourselves better.

Inferiority complex, depression, anxiety, panic attacks cannot be shut by putting a poster of ‘Good vibes only’ on your face. It will make you burst like an atom bomb.

Body Positivity

Body positivity is a real good campaign but imagine, a person who is sitting and chomping on food the entire day goes around singing slogans of body positivity and shouting at anyone who advices him to live a healthier lifestyle. That is how these posts effect us.
Accept yourself the way you are. True. Indeed. But improve yourself if there is truly a necessity. Be a better version of yourself. In the above example about the food chomper, the concept of ‘Body Is A Temple’ is a rather suitable advice.

Good vibes and Empathy

Good vibes is sympathy. When someone is sharing their story and if you put motivational speech in their head, they will either feel worse or leave you with your dearest vibes. Empathy is rather assuring them that its okay to feel the way they feel. Empathy is helping them to accept their situation,emotions,thoughts and present condition while sharing your own story to them. Everyone has a story. It’s the negative which makes the positive

Good Vibes and Happiness are same, right?

You mean, is mental peace and happiness same? Yes, they are. Being at peace with yourself takes years. It is a very difficult process. We are not saints. Once you are at peace with yourself, you will feel content. Self contention.
Happiness is not smiling and going here and there to tell everyone that ‘ Hey, I am positive. Feel my Vibes’. Happiness is enjoyment. It can be in public or private. Loud or quiet. A party or a book. A diamond or just a cup of tea. It depends. Happiness is based on your perspective. When you are content with yourself, you do elude positive vibes. You do not even need to wear a ‘Good Vibes Only’ t-shirt to communicate it to others.
Good vibes are not wrong. They are never wrong. But it is not achieved by hiding your pains, ignoring them or just imprisoning them behind your teeth while you put a big smile on your face