Tag: self-confidence

The Imposter syndrome is more common than you think.

Great minds like Maya Angelo and Albert Einstein accomplished and excelled at their field which is rare to come across , yet the shared something with the common people , the feeling of fraudulence . Impostor syndrome refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. While this definition is usually narrowly applied to intelligence and achievement, it has links to perfectionism and the social context. To put it simply, imposter syndrome is the experience of feeling like a phony—you feel as though at any moment you are going to be found out as a fraud—like you don’t belong where you are, and you only got there through dumb luck. It can affect anyone no matter their social status, work background, skill level, or degree of expertise.

When Clance and Imes first described the impostor phenomenon (sometimes called impostor syndrome), they thought it was unique to women. Since then, a variety of research on the topic has revealed that men, too, can have the unenviable experience of feeling like frauds, according to a recent research review .Many people who feel like impostors grew up in families that placed a big emphasis on achievement, says Imes. In particular, parents who send mixed messages — alternating between over-praise and criticism — can increase the risk of future fraudulent feelings. Societal pressures only add to the problem.”In our society there’s a huge pressure to achieve,” Imes says. “There can be a lot of confusion between approval and love and worthiness. Self-worth becomes contingent on achieving.”

Characteristics of Imposter Syndrome

Some of the common signs of imposter syndrome include:

  • An inability to realistically assess your competence and skills
  • Attributing your success to external factors
  • Berating your performance
  • Fear that you won’t live up to expectations
  • Overachieving
  • Sabotaging your own success
  • Self-doubt
  • Setting very challenging goals and feeling disappointed when you fall short

While for some people, impostor syndrome can fuel feelings of motivation to achieve, this usually comes at a cost in the form of constant anxiety. You might over-prepare or work much harder than necessary to “make sure” that nobody finds out you are a fraud.This sets up a vicious cycle, in which you think that the only reason you survived that class presentation was that you stayed up all night rehearsing. Or, you think the only reason you got through that party or family gathering was that you memorized details about all the guests so that you would always have ideas for small talk

There are many factors that may play a part in imposter syndrome including new roles, family upbringing, personality traits, and social anxiety.

Types of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome can appear in a number of different ways. A few different types of imposter syndrome may include:The perfectionist: Perfectionists are never satisfied and always feel that their work could be better. Rather than focus on their strengths, they tend to fixate on any flaws or mistakes. This often leads to a great deal of self-pressure and high amounts of anxiety.

The superhero: Because these individuals feel inadequate, they feel compelled to push themselves to work as hard as possible.

The expert: These individuals are always trying to learn more and are never satisfied with their level of understanding. Even though they are often highly skilled, they underrate their own expertise.

The natural genius: These individuals set excessively lofty goals for themselves, and then feel crushed when they don’t succeed on their first try.

The soloist: These people tend to be very individualistic and prefer to work alone. Self-worth often stems from their productivity, so they often reject offers of assistance. They tend to see asking for help as a sign of weakness or incompetence.

Strategies to cope with imposter feelings include talking about what you are experiencing, questioning your negative thoughts, and avoiding comparing yourself to others.For many people with impostor feelings, individual therapy can be extremely helpful. A psychologist or other therapist can give you tools to help you break the cycle of impostor thinking, says Imes.

The impostor phenomenon is still an experience that tends to fly under the radar. Somerville learned the phenomenon existed only after he’d successfully dealt with the feelings on his own. Often the people affected by impostor feelings don’t realize they could be living some other way. “They don’t have any idea it’s possible not to feel so anxious and fearful all the time,” Imes says.

Luckily, it is possible.

You have talent. You are capable. You belong

Importance of Self-Confidence

Self-Confidence is one of the important things needed in our life. It has the power to either push us up or pull us down. Most people lack self-confidence at some point in their life due to failures and disappointments. Self -Confidence can be increased due to the motivation of others, but it is not the only way to boost our inner confidence. The confidence that comes from inside is the one that resists for long and helps us achieve more and more in our life. Let us see some of the ways to boost our confidence and try to use them in our daily life.

Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

Ways to Boost Self Confidence

  1. Tell good words to yourself : It may feel silly on reading this. But actually it works during the time of crisis. Whenever we feel low, we can tell some good words to “We can do it”,”We are capable of doing it”,”Nothing is impossible”. These words lowers our stress as well as helps in boosting our confidence. We can even ask our friends and family to tell good words to us. Getting these words from those we trust , gives immense amount of confidence in our life.
  2. Take a deep breath : Before starting any task, taking a deep breath will definitely helps us. We should allot some two to three minutes before the beginning of the job and we should take a deep breath without thinking about anything else. During that time, we should not concentrate on the outside environment or thinking about how to do the job. Our only focus must be on taking a breath and relaxing both our mind and the body.
  3. Thinking on past success : When we are doing a difficult or stretchy job, we can think on our past success or achievement for some moments. Beware, it must only be for some moments. Sometimes it will lead to over -confidence and destroys both the time ,the effort and the task.
  4. Thinking on our good time : Everyone will definitely have such moments in our life that brings us instant laughter or instant happiness on our face. During our low time, we can think on these things for some moments to boost up our energy and confidence to do the job. These times can be with the family or friends or colleagues or anyone. Here too, over thinking may lead to procrastination , which is the dangerous one that won’t led us to finish the job.
  5. Hobbies : Hobbies can make an individual feel happy, calm ,satisfied and acts as a complete stress buster. Taking out some time for hobbies can help us to make our brain relaxed and peaceful. These hobbies can be done during breaks or free time.
  6. Talk to yourself : This task doesn’t need anyone to perform. During our low times or when we have no one with us, this is the best way to keep us away from negativity and low confidence. We can talk anything and everything to ourselves. Just imagine yourself as another human and tell everything that is going on our mind.

Believe you can and you’re Halfway there.

Theodore Roosevelt

How to judge people

Yes you got it right. We are often told  don’t judge people on the basis of any parameter.

And yet here I am suggesting to judge not just people but situations efficiently.

What kind of judgment are we talking about here? You should learn to do selective judgment. Judgment Done by you should be on an individual level and it should not affect adversely the second party in anyway.Like I said there is good in the world along with the bad so your judgment should be limited to warding off the bad people around you.

Your call should not become any sort of discrimination towards the people.Your hatred or your indifference should not become social or societal indifference.

Judgement of a person is only for cautious purposes.

Like it benefits girls the most.Seeing the number of rapes and hate crimes committed against women,a key of caution towards judgement of intention can be handy.

Similarly,mothers and sisters of culprits can judge their son’s behavior as to what tendencies he has.This can help in avoiding at least a few incidents of female cruelty.

I agree,In india parenting is different.But that’s what we need to learn as a country.Adopt the positive things from other countries.

It can help you be safe.Prevent accident,incidence of injury to both mind and body.

Another angle to judgement is we learn to analyse situations and can foresee our reaction to it.We constantly react to external stimuli in many ways.

It helps provide a presumption of a situation and hence we can bravely fave the wicked ones.

The fight between right and wrong even establishes itself at government level.

Whilst arguing that selective judgement is good and can be helpful to you there is yet another angle.To learn where to not judge.

Some wrongs we can avoid-

To judge people on the basis of their beauty.Bad.

Judging them on the basis of their money. Bad.

Doing friendships or relationships on the basis of pros and cons or advantages and disadvantage without having any emotions. Bad.

Judging someone on the basis of the language they speak,Fluency in English. Bad.

Judging someone on the basis of clothes to wear. Bad.

Judging someone on the basis of their religion/Caste. Bad.

Judging someone by the life choices they make ie being on married choosing a spouse etc.Bad. 

Considering Everyone who is not like you inferior and satisfying your pride.Bad.

&

Self analysis and helping others learn selective judgment to prevent or overcome possible future wrongs.Good.

Learn to Apologize

Photo by Brett Jordan on Pexels.com

Apologize when u do a mistake.Sounds cliche right?

But it has a deep meaning and significance.

There are two possibilities either you have done something for which you should genuinely apologize and second is you have not done anything wrong but still being accused.

Let’s discuss the former ,

If and when a mistake is committed by you be it intentionally or unintentionally,apologize for it.

It may so happen that your actions/words didn’t directly culminate to a mistake but have adverse indirect effects.So ,by keeping your heart out of ego ,empathizing with the victim , just apologize.

Your mistake might not feel big to you but could be grave or fatal for the other party.

You might have caused deep cuts by your words,causing injury to their soul.

Irrespective of your awareness of the grief,apologize.

It will not just Help them move on but also help yourself from avoiding any further regret. A man Can live poorly But living with guilt It’s some thing no one can afford.

So for the sake of your own selfishness at least,learn to apologize.

It is not easy to become brave and accept your mistakes.But it is wise and appropriated.Bowing down doesn’t make you weaker,it only helps you grow as a person.Self introspection grows stronger and your quest to success begins.Identifying and realising your mistake is an indication of self awareness and diluted self ego.

So next time you cause hurt,mental or physical intention or unintentional 

Apologize.

Now the question is when you know you have not done wrong and the other party is falsely accusing you.After self introspection you come to know that you aren’t at fault,no facts support you are wrong and the other party is falsely framing you for selfish purposes.

Do this,

First of all realise that this person is not your friend if s-he does something like this.Cut off this toxic person.

Do not apologize when you aren’t wrong.Take your stand. You aren’t nothing to bow down when you are right.Stand up for what you believe.

Provide facts or statements of your right.Convince those who care about your arguments.Those who do not care won’t care even if you are right.

Give counterarguments .Do not sit down helplessly.If the person is important to you then try to explain yourself if not once then thrice.If s-he doesn’t trust you regardless,leave.

Trust is an important tenet of any relationship-friendship.If you cannot trust you ,you should not keep them.

You need to achieve a balance between right and wrong.

A wrong means for a right future is not always justified.

So today’s mantra-

Organize yourself,your thoughts and never bow down your ideals to someone who doesn’t value you or your thoughts.

Care for yourself just like you would care for others.

When wrong,do not shy away from apologizing.

Effective speech 101

The first step is to overcome the fear of public speaking. Effective speaking is not an inbuilt talent. You can develop it through correct practices just as we learn other things in life.

You can do this through:

  1. Deep breathing: Before and after your speech
  2. Shifting your focus from how you look and feel to the message you want to share with your audience. Do not imitate others, just be yourself.
  3. Visualizing: Take 10-15 minutes a day to relax, close your eyes and visualize the room you are speaking in, the audience and yourself confidently delivering your speech, smiling and moving across the stage.
  4. Focus on facts, not fears: Instead of focusing on your irrational fears- mind going blank or audience getting bored- focus on the thoughts like ‘I have the sketch, I know the bullet points or I am knowledgeable on this topic.’ Rehearse it with your friends or family.
  5. Focus on speech clarity: Organize the speech around two or more important points rather than including all the information from everywhere.
  6. Never memorize it word to word. Just remember the facts and major points and you will come around. Make brief notes of interesting things or which you don’t want to miss.
  7. Be excited about your subject, include experiences and provide examples. They do wonders!

After overcoming the fear of speaking, begin with all the important points for effective speaking.

  1. Story telling

Audience can forget data and statistics, but they will never forget a delightful story. Use stories from real-life events, something funny to share from your past incidences or challenges, struggle and success stories, etc.

Your stories should be:

  • Relevant to the subject
  • Short and simple
  • At proper intervals
  • Relatable

        You should:

  • Express emotions through body language.
  • Use adjectives and verbs to make the stories more interesting.

You should not:

  • Use more than two stories on the same topic.
  • Fill it with too many minute details or characters which distract the audience from the primary concern.
  • Not use uncommon jargons.

2. Body language: It is our way of communicating through our body movements and gestures to express our emotions, expressions, and actions. We should also read the body language of our audience.

For a positive body language:

  • Posture: Feel comfortable and stay upright. No slouching shoulders or bent posture. Do not lean or grip the lectern. If you are sitting, do not lean, bent or move your legs very much.
  • Body placement: Move as you speak. Use the space, be with the audience and not behind the lectern or just positioned in one place. This cannot apply if you are sitting in a studio where you need to be seated.
  • Arms: Do not use hand gestures which reveal anxiety. Example: Clutching your hands, fiddling with your clothing, cracking fingers, etc.
  • Facial expressions: Smile at your listeners as you talk. It is very effective when you gain their admiration.

3. Tone of voice: The study related to the vocal part of the non- verbal communication is called paralinguistic. And paralanguage refers to the non- verbal elements of communication. These are:

Speech Pace: It is the speed at which we speak. Practice for 150 words per minute. It is the ideal limit. Steady your breathing, focus on enunciation, reflect about punctuation in your speech.

Speech Pitch: It is the placement of your voice on a musical scale from high to low. Usually men have lower pitch than woman. Varying your voice pitch differentiates different emotions and points. It is the easiest way to avoid monotony, add excitement, make certain words and ideas stand out, appear relaxed and confident to the listeners. Identify the exact words and phrases that you want to emphasize. Example: Use higher pitch for excitement and lower pitch for seriousness or to add weight to the message.

Speech Volume: It is the loudness of your voice. It depends on the space of speaking and the size of the audience. It should not look as if you are shouting when you are not. There should not be a difficulty in listening to you. Reach everyone in the distance too. You can change your loudness for creating dramatic effects or expressing powerful emotions.

4. Pauses: Pauses are much needed. There is no need to fill silence with umm, ahm, like, you know or and. There are 3 types of to use in different ways:

  • Brief pause: Last for half a second to 2 seconds. Use it for separating a thought, emphasizing last words, or building anticipation for what is coming.
  • Long pause: Can last anywhere from 3 seconds to a couple of minutes. Used for creating tension.
  • Spontaneity pause: Speakers are to use it when they are searching for the right word or pretending to reflect on something.You can also plan and plot these pauses. They ultimately make your the speech look more real, polished and less rehearsed.

5. Visual aids: These include flip charts, projectors, slide shows, handouts, and certain props.

  • Adding a visual dimension can make a speech look more vivid, graphic, and professional looking.
  • Multiplies understanding
  • Helps to maintain attention
  • Adds humour or creates excitement
  • Organizes complex information

Encourages gesture and movement to connect more with your audience. With good practice and knowledge of your subject, you can easily become an effective speaker.

How to gain self confidence?

Have you ever backed out from anything because of the feeling that you are not capable for it? Most of the people do that often. We might have lost some precious golden opportunities to reveal ourselves and to make ourselves proud just because of the lack of trust in ourselves. What if I do it wrong? What if it doesn’t work the way as I planned? This “what if” is what that kills all the positiveness in you and make yourself a coward and stagnant. We are indeed deceived by these negative thoughts that we are incapable and ineffective. Do we have to live our whole life hanging to this lie? Its high time we had to realize we are not as bad and inactive as we think we are. How can you make yourself believe that? Here are some tips!

  • Focus more on what you have than what you don’t. We all have the tendency to give attention to what we lack rather than focusing on things we are good at. It’s indeed great to know our weaknesses and try to improve it. But at the same time, also look at the things that you are blessed with. It will make you believe in yourself and foster your self confidence.
  • Practice the skills in you. You may be great at different things but again the lack of self confidence will always let you down. One of the ways to improve it by practice the skills that you possess. With effective practice and training you will gain confidence to do that no matter what.
  • Be optimistic always. Avoid the negative thoughts that keep coming to your mind. Always think positive. It’s good to have fear and anxiety as that can prepare you well. But it is also important to keep an optimistic mind.
  • Love yourself. This is really important for anyone. You can never achieve success in your life until you don’t love yourself. Believe in you. Always prove yourself that you are not as bad as you think you are. Never compare yourself with other people. Live your life in your way.
  • Don’t back out. We tend to back out from the things just because of the negative fear we have. Never let that happen. Try doing things that challenge you. This will be a key point to build your confidence.

20 Tips for Mastering the Art of Public Speaking

When my class was asked to describe our greatest fear- some said spiders while some said ghosts. But when the fingers were pointed at me and the entire class was staring at me for an answer, I froze. That is exactly when I knew my greatest fear was public speaking. The best way one can get over their fear is by practising it hence I made it my goal to be an ace at it. Today I’m a teacher and I speak in front of my students with ease and charisma.

The Wolf of Wall Street': A howling disappointment

Here are some of the tips that helped me through my process of practising public speaking:

1. Know your audience.

If you are speaking in front of an audience, there is usually a reason. Know who you are speaking to and what they want or need to take away. If it’s friends and family, entertain them. If it’s a corporate event, teach and inspire them. Knowing the demographic of the audience is imperative.

2. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse.

Nothing becomes muscle memory unless you practice relentlessly. If you have a big speech coming up, make time every day to practice. Prepare your goals and the content well ahead of time. This can be done while driving, exercising, in the car, on a plane…anywhere.

3. Practice with your friends and family.

Once I know the content, I like to add a little bit of distraction to test how well prepared I really am. Turn on the TV or rehearse while pushing your child in the swing. Anything that adds a little more challenge. While taking a shower or even while dinner with your parents.

4. Maintain your own style.

Different events will often require a different approach or style. Sometimes reading a prepared speech is fine. But know it backward are forward so you’re not staring down at the pages the whole time. Some use notes. Others prefer to be 100 percent scripted and memorized. If that’s your style, memorize the content so well that you can go off script if needed — and so you don’t sound like you’re reciting a poem. Use the proper approach for the appropriate event.

5. Know the environment.

Know the venue where you will be speaking. Get there well ahead of time. Walk the room. Walk the stage. Get a feel for the vibe of the environment so you are more comfortable when its “go time.”

6. Test all equipment.

Nothing sucks more that last-minute technical difficulties. Avoid adding even more stress by testing any and all equipment and audio visual functions ahead of time. And have backups.

7. Practice in front of a mirror.

Practicing in front of a mirror is a good way to learn the proper amount of body motion, hand usage and facial expressions.

8. Take every opportunity to speak.

The only way to get better at anything is to do it all the time. Rehearsing is good, but nothing compares to actually getting up in front of an audience and doing it for real.

9. Practice body language and movement.

Remember, communication is much more about tone and body language than the words we say. The words of course matter, but emphasis comes with movement and body language.

10. Slow down.

We have some great sayings in the SEAL teams: “slow is smooth, and smooth is fast, ” and “don’t run to your death.” Nothing shows nerves more than racing through your presentation. If you want to impact the audience in a meaningful way, make sure they actually hear what you are saying. Slow it down.

11. Make eye contact, but avoid heavy body movements.

This one is very important, and it doesn’t matter how big the audience is. Make eye contact with as many people as possible. It makes the audience members feel like you are speaking directly to them. And don’t just stick to people in the first couple rows. Look at the people in the back too.

12. Know your material.

If your goal is to become a thought leader or actually teach the audience something, only a truly authentic understanding of the material will get you there.

13. Take long pauses.

Similar to slowing things down, make a point to take long pauses. And make them longer than you even think is appropriate. It can have a great impact on emphasizing key points and emotionally connecting to the audience.

14. Practice tone and voice modulation.

Don’t just eek your way through a speech using the same tone and volume. Tone and projection add a layer of entertainment and help keep the audience fully engaged from start to finish. These too must be practiced religiously.

15. Use humor and emotion.

It doesn’t matter what you are talking about. There is always a place for emotion or humor, or both. I find self-deprecating humor to work the best. And if you are starting to get emotional, so what? Use it. The audience may not remember everything you said, but they will remember how you made them feel. 

16. Mentally prepare.

Find time during the hour before your speech for some solitude. Get your mind right. Clear your head. If it’s five minutes before, just relax. The time for making sure you know the material perfectly has passed.

17. Exercise before you go on.

It’s almost impossible to feel stress and anxiety after a good workout. If you have the time, exercise. The closer to your speech, the better. It’s also a good time to practice. I like to rehearse while running or swimming.

18. Project confidence.

The more you project confidence, the more confident you are likely to feel. Get out there and own the room. Even if you are terrified. Fake it. Look people in the eye and command their attention.

19. Don’t go over the allotted time.

When in doubt, go under the allotted time. Less is sometimes more. But never, ever, go over. It’s poor speaking etiquette and shows you are not prepared. It’s also disrespectful of the agenda for the event. Again, just practice.

20. Ask for feedback.

Most of us don’t like to ask for feedback, especially when we know the response may include some constructive criticism.

However feedbacks if taken positively can do wonders for your speech improvisation especially from a third-party point of view.

Why Are We Clapping? - A History of Applause

Speaking is a great way to connect with people and a skill we all should master.

It’s a must for leaders and managers. It’s a must for sales. It’s basically a requirement for all entrepreneurs and business leaders.

So go on and practice this skill which will be your life saver!

How to attract people in first 90 seconds- Must read!!!

These are the secrets from an amazing book called “How to Make people like you in 90 seconds or less” by Nicholas Booth Man. Likable people are always open, welcoming and friendly in nature and you can notice their sincerity, trust, and self-confidence in their behavior as well, and you can develop all these qualities in yourself by meeting other people in a regular manner. If other people do not find you interesting in first 90 seconds after meeting you, then they would want to get rid of you as soon as possible.

How to Maintain Communication and Culture as a Growing Startup ...

If you want that people like you more, then you have to invest your efforts from the very beginning, and this starts even before you speak a single word from your mouth. Any new person notices three basic things just after meeting you, these three things are your

  1. Body language
  2. Your eyes
  3. Expression on your face

Thus, it is essential that when you meet anyone, these three elements give the feeling of openness to other people. For doing this, you will have to show your interest in them, along with your body, you will have to move your brain as well toward them. This effort will show your sincerity and commitment and openness in the conversation and in them as well after this, you need to see directly in the eyes of other people, this establishes the trust and as soon as you make an eye contact with other person make sure you give a genuine smile to them before they think or assume anything else about you. Let your positive attitude shine with a broad and genuine smile with this simple action, other people will consider you as a genuine, open and sincere person with this simple effort, you already made a warm and welcoming mood for the situation, and now you need to initiate by introducing yourself. You can do that with a standard greeting, like Hi or hello and you must need to do that in a very pleasant tone. Along with that make sure you share your first name to the other person and it will encourage the other person to introduce themselves for example, you can say,….”Hello, I am Akash”. When you say this, then the other person will also share his or her name with you, and as soon as they share their name, you must need to repeat their name like wise you said… “Hello, I am Sahil” you got response… “Hi, I am Sohil” now you have to say, “Sohil, Nice to meet your Sohil.” In his famous book, “How to win friends and influence people,” Dale Carnage shared the fact that the name of any individual is the sweetest sound in the entire world for that person that is why it is essential that you repeat other person’s name in the conversation as much as possible. This method will increase your acceptance and respect, it will also make it easier for your to memorize their name. And finally, you have to lean forward slightly. Just a little leaning would be enough, just like Mr. Obama is slightly leaning forward in this photo.

How To Give A Proper Handshake - Business Insider

Image source: BusinessInsider

With your slight inclination, other people will assume you are showing interested in them, and you are listening to them carefully, also, it will give you a pleasant appearance. Just look at photo and tell who is looking more generous in both of them. Of course, it is Mr. Obama, because he is using this principle.

Studies proved that people hire those people that are similar to them and even most of the time they date people with similar people because they make them feel safe and comfortable. If you try to pay attention, you will find, you enjoy the company of those people who think like you, who behave like you and those who make you feel comfortable. You can be comfortable for them just by synching your voice with their voice. The synching of voice is a very powerful tool in communication skills for this, you need to speak at the same pace as other people are speaking that means if they talk slow, then you should not run fast and second thing, you shall try to use the same tone similar to them. If they are calm and relaxed, and you will speak loudly or with excitement, then it won’t work well for you. You need to use same volume and you need to relax while talking. With this, other people will think you are like them and they will feel more comfortable while talking to you.

photo of people doing handshakes
Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com

In 1979, Dr. Lisa Berkman did a study on 7000 people, and this study lasted for 9 years with this study, she found that people that do not have more social connections or those who do not meet other people, they get ill more often, and it increased their chances of earlier death as well and who meet other people more often, were likely to live longer. So, go and expand your social circle without having any fear, without any complications.

 

 

 

Personal Development

Personal development can include any skill that you build to improve yourself—your emotions, thoughts, or behaviors. It doesn’t really matter which skills you want to improve; the key to personal development is taking the right steps — steps that help ensure that you reach whatever goal you are pursuing.

What are the most important personal development skills? It really depends on what you’re trying to achieve. But here are 9 that I have found to be important to successful personal development.

1. Start by figuring out which personal development skills you need to build. The first step in any personal development strategy is to figure out how to best use your time. It makes little sense to learn how to code if you don’t plan to be a coder or to bench press 400 pounds if you don’t plan to be a weight lifter. These can be hobbies, but personal development is more about building skills to reach your goals. So it’s good to take some time to self-reflect. (If well-being is a goal of yours, take this well-being quiz to see which skills you need to build.)

2. Develop entrepreneurial thinking. Everyone can benefit from learning how to think like an entrepreneur, regardless of whether or not you are one. Why? Because entrepreneurs are innovative, good at planning for all possible outcomes, and skilled at getting others to buy into their vision or dream. And perhaps more importantly for personal development, they tend to be adaptable to all sorts of situations.

By developing entrepreneurial thinking, you better adapt to whatever your circumstances are so you can more easily achieve your goals, whether those goals are to start a business that makes a positive impact in the world, to set yourself up for an early retirement, or climb Mount Everest.

3. Develop a growth mindset. If we have a “fixed mindset,” we may shy away from challenges that could help us grow. But this can be problematic because our fear of making mistakes can lead us to avoid challenges and new experiences—experiences which would help us grow, improve ourselves in important ways, and create the life we desire.

If we have a “growth mindset” we seek out challenges because we value learning and growth more than we value feeling smart or knowing what we’re doing. That’s why those with a growth mindset often build new skills more easily: They believe they can and so they really work at it.

4. Develop your self-soothing mechanism. High levels of stress are not only bad for our health and well-being, they can prevent us from effectively pursuing and achieving our self-development goals. By learning effective, long-lasting stress-reducing strategies, your body and mind will be more equipped to handle the inevitable challenges that arise when you’re trying to develop yourself.

5. Develop resilience. Resilience is that super-important skill that helps you bounce back quickly after being knocked down. This is one of the most important skills for success because none of us will achieve anything if we don’t keep trying when we fail. We can build resilience by improving skills like emotion-regulation, mindfulness, and positivity.

6. Develop your value compass. It’s not always easy to live by our core values. But when we go through life without following our personal values, we can easily get lost. We may suddenly “wake up” and realize that we are not who we want to be or where we want to be. This is why it’s so important to stay in alignment with our personal values.

What are your values? Perhaps: kindness, curiosity, creativity, hard work, or personal relationships. Define your personal values so you know which actions are in alignment with those values.

7. Create a personal development plan. A good personal development plan takes all these factors into consideration — the WHAT, the HOW, the WHY, and the WHEN. So ask yourself:

What skills will you build?

How will you build them?

Why will you build them?

And when will you build them?

8. Record your progress towards personal development. Keeping track of our progress as we move toward our personal development goals is key to making sure we’re on the right track. Then we can pause and take a different direction if we’ve gone off course. By maintaining self-awareness and frequently checking in with ourselves, we can identify things that we need to devote more attention to. As a result, we can make better progress toward our personal development.

9. Keep developing yourself in new ways. The science is clear: The more ways we develop ourselves, the broader our skill set, and the more success we tend to have. So try learning some new emotional skills or do some activities to build new skills. You just might learn something that changes your life.

Confidence build-up pathway!

One way to make a big difference to your life is to gain confidence. From negotiating your salary, to standing up for yourself, to believing you can make your dreams a reality, confidence is often the most important ingredient. But confidence doesn’t come naturally to most of us. For the majority of people, those big moments where you have to believe in yourself usually result in self-doubt and a little anxiety. This is normal.

The good news is that confidence isn’t just a magic quality that some people have and some people don’t. Confidence can be developed, it just takes a few tricks and some practice. It might seem impossible at the start, but if you keep a few things in mind then you really can gain confidence with time. Here’s a few simple tips to get you started.

1. Take care of yourself

One of the best ways you can begin to value yourself and see your own importance more is to start taking care of yourself a little more. Take some time to make sure you are eating a little better or giving your body the exercise it needs. Over time, you will begin to see the improvements you have made to your health and the importance of valuing yourself.

2. Give someone some help

It could be something small, with a neighbour, a friend, a colleague, or a complete stranger. Most of us have a family member who could do with a little assistance in their lives, especially the elderly who need caregiving sometimes. By making a difference in someone else’s life you will see just how impactful you can be, which can be a great way to gain confidence.

3. That voice is not right

We all have voices in our head that tell us things we shouldn’t listen to. Those voices can trick us into doing silly things, but did you know there are some great psychological techniques for ignoring or controlling those voices? The next time you hear the voice that tells you that you can’t do something, or don’t deserve something, just remember “It’s just a voice, that doesn’t make it accurate.”

4. It’s not about what you can do right now

If someone asks you to do something that you can’t do, don’t lose confidence. The only important thing that is that you can find the motivation to learn how to do this thing, or that you can tell the person this is just not possible. Having confidence is not just about who you are right now. It’s definitely not about who you used to be. It’s about who you are going to become.

So, keep these few tips in mind, gain confidence little by little each day, and keep moving forward. This can make a real difference to your life and work, so give it a go. A more confident you starts today.

IMPROVE YOUR FOCUS

In this fast-paced world we’ve created, we’re only going to feel more overwhelmed by the ever-increasing directions and distractions we feel pulled toward. With exponentially increasing demands on us in our work and personal lives, sustaining and improving focus on things which matter is getting tougher and tougher.
You’ll be pleasantly surprised to learn that keeping focused is no longer about trying to discover secret weapons of willpower or self-discipline. With these initial self-reflective exercises and different brain-training exercises, you’ll no longer be having arguments with yourself to get on with the job!
Here’re 7 ways on how to improve focus.
1. Have a Plan You Feel Clear AboutOne of the foremost common reasons we struggle to take care of focus is because we lack clarity about what we’d like to try to to next. The next best action step doesn’t feel clear to us.
If you are trying to lose weight but aren’t clear on exactly what activities you need to do, with what intensity, the food you need to eat and the timing of when all this needs to happen, you increase your chances of staggered progress.
If there are not enough parts early in the process to that feel clear for you to make the next step, these emotional obstacles will derail you.
You must also recognize the amount of detail in the steps you need to feel ready and confident to move forward — this will differ between you and the next person. You and another person are often given precisely the same instructions to find out a task. He/she might feel completely ready and confident to get to work. On the other hand, you hesitate.
Work on developing enough detail clarity until you are feeling you’ve got enough resources and know enough to require the steps.
2. Set Your Mood and Environment to maximise Your Capacity to FocusIt’s been argued that in slightly-above-ambient temperatures, you’ll be more creative. You feel more relaxed and your productivity increases. Conversely, lower temperatures have also been found to more positively influence decision-making ability and alertness.
Cornell University conducted a study of office administration workers whereby their productivity positively correlated with increased office temperatures.[1] At 25℃, the workers were typing with 90% accuracy. However, with a drop of 5℃, the typing rate nose-dived along side an increased error rate of 25%. The study also identified other factors which could greatly affect productivity and focus such as air quality and pollution.
It’s not just temperature you need to pay attention to. Good lighting is essential. The wavelength of blue light emitted from neon lights and most electronic devices generally ignites our serotonin levels and keeps us awake. Consider though that natural light is best where possible. When your body is truly getting tired, you can honor its natural rhythms and listen to its cues for rest.
Switch off communication applications (e.g. Facebook messenger, Slack, Yamma). Make it hard for yourself to access such applications and devices by physically putting them in places that are inconvenient for you to access (try the 20-second rule and make it take more time to access). If you have to go outside to the garden shed to retrieve your phone (and it’s cold and raining outside), you’re less likely to do it!
Maximize your exposure to visual messages which direct you to remain on task. Rather than have your eyes cast across post-it-note messages such as: “Don’t get distracted”, have messages of what you want to direct yourself to do: “Keep going. Stay focused.” Surround where you propose to execute most of your day’s work with deliberate messages that directly tell you to remain on target .
3. Create a Distraction Procrastination To-Do ListWhen you know you have to prepare a complex report or assignment, the temptation to be carried away with the social flittings of your friends on Facebook or your colleagues chatting nearby will likely be stronger than ever. That story you spin yourself that you’re only spending a smidgin’ of your time getting ‘up-to-date’ so it can’t really do any harm becomes the sole story you would like to believe.
Trying to resist the temptation completely can cost you valuable time and psychic energy . The guilt you harbor for contemplating digressing from your important activity inflicts an emotional cat-o-nine tails upon you. That doesn’t serve you either.
Submit half-way. Fully indulge at a designated time period to soak up that dopamine rush from scrolling through sporadic events and sponsored posts on your newsfeed or chat to whoever is online at the time. 
After pounding through a piece of labor , undergo that guilty pleasure. When you engage in it, do it fully. If you’ve been studying straight for three hours, it’s time to stand up, stretch and stroll to your favourite coffee shop and back. Go for a walk or swing on the swings in your closest public park.
If you work from home, bake a batch of scones, put on a face mask as you soak your feet in a foot spa. Or watch half of the football match you recorded but haven’t gotten ‘round to reviewing yet.
Cold-turkey abstinence is hardly ever effective. Not only are you wasting time and energy resisting the urge. You make the urge stronger by denying yourself! So, don’t deny yourself but manage it wisely.
4. Practice Meditation and MindfulnessIf you’re yet to be convinced of how meditation can help you improve focus, look no further than the declarations made by the American Psychological Society praising its benefits.More and more studies are demonstrating how meditation can reduce rumination, stress, anxiety and improve relationships, emotional stability, focus and working memory capacity.
If you’re not meditating, you are doing yourself a gross disservice. Meditating allows to practice regaining focus. As you practice, you learn and increase your skills to notice when your mind is wandering off track. You then practice bringing it back to what you ought to be directing your attention to.Include in your morning preparations for the day a gentle but directed review of what you need to devote your time to today. Throughout the day, consider that your attention span swings like a pendulum. Exercise it one direction and let it swing into a free-thought space for moments of reprieve.
The world, our bodies and our minds work in rhythms. Learn to exercise your mind and focus intrinsically . If you try to beat yourself cognitively into submission, you’re unlikely to win. You’ll be unnecessarily exhausting yourself in repeated attempts of trying.
Here’s a beginner guide for meditation: Meditation for Beginners: How to Meditate Deeply and Quickly
5. Schedule Planning, Review and Recognition Periods Throughout Your DayManagement consultant and best-selling author of 18 Minutes, Peter Bregman recommends a simple plan to help train your brain to remain focused and help you track your progress.
Before the computer goes on, the first 5 minutes of your day, you invest in planning and write out your ‘today’s activities’ list. Physically writing down your activity goals for the day (using paper and pen, not electronic word processing) engages more functions within your brain (e.g. the generation effect[3]) which train it to acknowledge these activities are highly important.
Bregman then recommends that for 1 minute at the end of each of the next 8 hours, you stop and recall what you have accomplished in that hour. You congratulate yourself for what you have achieved and regain focus, recalibrate expectations and take a pause. You slow down to speed up.
By reviewing what you’ve got accomplished, you attach a positive emotional experience to your work and progress. This action in itself will improve your focus as you fuel your motivation to stay the wheels of your momentum, rolling.
The final 5 minutes at the end of the day are spent in reviewing and planning the next day. Doing so makes it easy for you to sustain laser focus from at some point to subsequent , to subsequent .
These 18 minutes of planning serve as plain but powerful guard rails to keep you mentally on track.
6. Create Goals and Activities That Satisfy Your Highest Priorities and ValuesWhenever you’re resisting doing something, it’s highly likely because it’s not topping your desirability charts.
As a human being, you behave and act in ways which ultimately keep you feeling safe and comfortable. As long as we can see we will get to continue feeling safe and comfortable, it doesn’t matter what activity we’re asked to do.
However, the moment a notion arises of your needing to do something that feels unfamiliar (and hence, uncomfortable), you can guarantee you’ll feel a sting of resistance. It might be slight but it will be there. However, life doesn’t allow us to simply avoid whatever we please.
The key is to examine and reframe what you need to do in a way that does satisfy your highest values and priorities.
If you believe you know what your values and priorities are, take a look at the results you have against the goals you’ve set for yourself thus far.
For example, if you believe one of your highest priorities is to have a healthy bank balance yet your balance statement shows more outgoings than revenue, having a lot of money is actually not a high priority for you.
At now , you would like to explore the variability of activities that yield a healthy bank balance that you’re not currently exercising. Saving, reducing costs, modifying and monitoring spending habits, making wiser purchase choices and finding ways to extend your income are all activities you would like to explore. These things might sound dull and like diligence .
7. Transform Information to Make Things More InterestingAccording to neurobiologists’ findings, we learn better when we actively do different things with the information. Not only are our experiences of learning more enjoyable, we activate more parts of our brain. This serves lessons and memories to be more effectively encoded into LTM .
You need to become clever at delighting and regularly stimulating your senses through variety.
If you’re studying, engage a spread of the way to exercise using the knowledge and skills you want to develop. Discussion groups, creating informal quizzes, teaching someone the knowledge you would like to find out involves you exercising verbal communication skills where you want to both give and receive information. You must adapt to your audience.
Drawing pictures and diagrams, creating voice memos about what you’re learning, using colors and symbols again different activates different parts of the brain. More connections are developed in your neural circuitry to aid your recall.
Furthermore, you become more adaptable and adept at applying what you learn to different situations.
Creating your own personalized manuals and notes becomes a passion project which pushes the personal gratification scale higher and higher.
Before you know it, staying focused no longer feels like a chore

HOW TO WALK CONFIDENTLY

Everyone like those guys who are great at conversations, the content of conversations is only about 10 — 20%. Everything else is body language and appearance. That’s why I will reveal how to walk with confidence. How to make the first impression on someone that they start perceiving you as an alpha male. Everybody likes a person who walks with self-confidence, because that way they feel more confident as well. Being playful, charming or naturally charismatic works wonders in attracting gorgeous women.

But for those things to work, you need to work hard That’s why I’m going to offer you 5 tips to form your WALK high-status:

1. among the most important mistakes guys do when they’re walking is that they look down all the time… They’re taking note of music and that they don’t even notice it, but on a subconscious level, this is often saying to people around you that you’re not having your shit straight. Your life sucks. It shows that either something awful happened to you, or you’re just generally unhappy, and NO girl wants to affect that. So… Look Up It sounds simple and super easy, but you’ll need to unlearn the bad habits, and then practice the new habits…

2. Shoulders back: this is often like an extension to the point. Basically, if you’re walking together with your shoulders front, it comes naturally that you simply walk like an old man and appearance down all the time. BUT if you set your shoulders back and you prop your chest just a touch bit as you walk, you get an entire another impression.

3. Do not keep your hands in your pockets it makes you look guarded closed off and you don’t seem confident.

4. Slight movement of upper torso This for many people comes naturally at the gym, but they’re not doing it when they’re walking… But basically, as you walk slowly, you usually want your upper torso and shoulders slightly swinging front and back… It’s like upper a part of your body is that one part and below waist is the other part… So when you’re walking, you would like those two parts to maneuver separately but not move an excessive amount of within it… Look how James Bond’s naturally moving his shoulders as he walks… It makes him look important… High-status… It’s like he’s showing off just for a bit… Now, this is much more basic than anything else I’ve told you, but I want you to pay attention to your torso because doing this moderately is very attractive to women… Now, as you practice this, EXAGGERATED… and accept the very fact that you’re going to look dumb ahead of the mirror, but once you play peacock ahead of the mirror, it easier and sooner comes naturally…. The next one is an old-time standard…

5. Walk your pace: Nowadays, there’s this trend that the more fast you walk, the more productive you are feeling , but with attraction, it’s just the other . The faster you walk, the more you appear to be you’re not on the top of things of your life. So, watch Marlon Brando walk. He’s got his smirk, he’s got his hands… and he walks very slow. Same for James Bond… Or every other status character. They all walk their own pace, which is typically just slightly slower than usual, because that creates them seem more important…