Tag: self love

SELF HELP AND PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

 

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND SELF HELP













Great people are those who have the state of  having, owing and controlling when situations become worse.

It is high time to come to believe that we are created with a great capacity to carry a custom made dream.

We all may be tall or short, smart or weak, rich or poor, bright or dull, but we can still accommodate our dream as all things are possible for those who believe in themselves.

SELF HELP IS SEEKING YOU IN YOU IN YOUR HARDSHIPS:)

TRAIN YOUR MIND, BODY, SOUL!

Update yourself, learn new skills for your future vision, Meditation makes  positive vibes around you so, do it regularly. Set tasks for the day, Change the habit which you thought to change many times but you couldn’t. Exercise regularly, Stay fit Stay strong, Eat healthy foods and drink plenty of work when makes way for the healthy body. Never ever take your health as granted as it is very important in today’s situation say for example pandemic and other sort of problems which we face now-a-days due to lack of health. Tomorrow is not a promised one. 

Always surround yourself with the good vibes because it may give hand at once when you are being felt stressed. Many people are unable to understand the truth that they are not surrounded by positive things. When they become aware that they don’t indulge in others things and so on, they get solitary. Behind everything there is a reason, lets try to understand that and move on.

Love yourself. Only is this is done we can love others also with kind hearted person. Count your blessings, Do not compare yourself with anybody as it gives  way for either pride or lower discriminative state of mind when affects you to the worst. Have a good state of mind. Forgiveness is the wonderful thing which can also be adopted.

Personality development is updating yourself in the  environment. Keep yourself in learning everything and every skills as it may help you to be safe in the environment surrounded by the people. It is like to be safe before the storm comes.

Promoting our state of mind in the psychologically, emotionally, mentally, physically strong. It helps to promote us both personally and professionally. Make a routine from morning to night as this will promote your best to the rest of your life. 

Loving ourselves is not  being self indulged, it is the art of taking care of ourselves as nobody can accommodate with us for every time.

BE ALIVE AND EXPECT BOUNTIFUL HARVEST

The art of self appreciation

Self-appreciation is an underrated thing about life. It is the best practice that one can include on daily bases and the best part about self-appreciation is that it comprises of all other positive elements like self-care, motivation, it gives hope and a lot more.
These days stress and mental pressure is very common, it starts from teenage and turns out to be lifelong. Life getting stressful people becoming short tempered and frustrated easily and they face lack of confidence, demotivated, unable to focus or feel like they are stuck. It may look like the same day is repeated every day, same work, same you. Every other person today is depressed and those who are not able to cope up soon feel like ending things right away. But this is not the right way of dealing with life, yes life is getting stressful, it looks more complicated each day and we might start avoiding things staying away from people, avoiding gathering and all. But this is not how people should deal with things. Instead, a little self-appreciation at the end of the day is a better approach.


Even the most prominent personalities from a saint to a CEO have told the people about self-appreciation in their talks. As they practice it too, so how things change with this? Self-appreciation can be practiced in different forms like you may come across a beautiful quote which relates to your current situation and those words can help you feel better, indirectly they might also suggest a solution on how to deal with the situation. This shows how powerful self-appreciation is similarly if an individual is stuck in a situation where he feels that he is not doing really well in life and people are much ahead, trying hard to reach a certain level and continuously keeping themselves engaged, in this race we often forget to spend time with ourselves and appreciate the small things. It is not possible to achieve all at once, not being at the same level because it is about timings you will reach there trust the timings and definitely yes one should keep trying but, killing yourself in this whole process is just not right. Counting the small achievements, taking notes, learning the lessons and most importantly appreciating yourself for all that you are doing right now.


Self-appreciation is very simple form of self love and can actually save you from the cut throat competition, it is the right way of dealing with modern day problems and at the end you are your best mate. Many of us loose ourselves while trying to defeat the world. Thus, self-appreciation can help you to value yourself more over others and even in the darkest days you can set yourself up with the motive that yes, I am doing great! and no one is more important than me. Self-appreciation is not about getting self-centred in every way but, just a daily dose of healthy living. As all of us are aware of the magic appreciation has, so if we appreciate ourself we can enjoy our achievements to the fullest, the progress even if it’s slow and we can keep going facing bigger challenges of life.

SELF-LOVE

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Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve. When you love yourself, you have an overall positive view of yourself. This doesn’t mean you feel positive about yourself all the time. That would be unrealistic! For example, I can temporarily feel upset, angry, or disappointed with myself and still love myself. If this is confusing, think about how this works in other relationships. I can love my son even though I sometimes feel angry or disappointed with him. Even in the midst of my anger and disappointment, my love for him informs how I relate to him. It allows me to forgive him, consider his feelings, meet his needs, and make decisions that will support his wellbeing. Self-love is very much the same. Which means, if you know how to love others, you know how to love yourself!

Self-love can mean something different for each person because we all have many different ways to take care of ourselves. Figuring out what self-love looks like for you as an individual is an important part of your mental health. Self-love means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment for everything that you are. It means accepting your emotions for what they are and putting your physical, emotional and mental well-being first.

Ways to practice self-love include:

  • Becoming mindful. People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel, and want.
  • Taking actions based on need rather than want. By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic behavior patterns that get you into trouble, keep you stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.
  • Practicing good self-care. You will love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.
  • Making room for healthy habits. Start truly caring for yourself by mirroring that in what you eat, how you exercise, and what you spend time doing. Do stuff, not to “get it done” or because you “have to,” but because you care about you.

Why is self-love important

If you grew up without any models for self-love or anyone who talked to you about the importance of being good to yourself, you might question its value. Well, without self-love, you’re likely to be highly self-critical and fall into people-pleasing and perfectionism. You’re more likely to tolerate abuse or mistreatment from others. You may neglect your own needs and feelings because you don’t value yourself. And you may self-sabotage or make decisions that aren’t in your own best interest. Self-love is the foundation that allows us to be assertive, set boundaries and create healthy relationships with others, practice self-care, pursue our interests and goals, and feel proud of who we are.

HOW MUCH ‘INSPIRATION’ DO WE NEED?

“THE PESSIMIST SEES DIFFICULTY IN EVERY OPPORTUNITY. THE OPTIMIST SEES OPPORTUNITY IN EVERY DIFFICULTY.” – Winston Churchill

EFFECTS OF INSPIRATION

The word “Inspiration” rings out many bells in one’s mind. It suggests many feelings such as promise and self-confidence which further charges up the other emotions to move forward in whatever domain one want to. Inspiration is a highly effective dose to bring out all the hidden personalities and characters in one’s disposition, which helps him or her to comprehend the potential and attain the set goals.

IT IS OMNIPRESENT

All the renowned and celebrated people who have made a mark in their life have been inspired and motivated at some or the other point of their life. We can take examples of people in the field of Art, Music and Medicine’ or in the field of Technology. Even politicians and great saints cannot be ruled out. One can get inspired in countless ways, it can be verbal, written or may be through some of the work done or an example set by the person they kind of became role models. When you carry a deep feeling for a person, you start trusting and have a blind faith in his thinking and philosophy and just start following the tracks without even being sure of that.

WE ALL NEED A MENTOR

The person you are impressed with or whom you ae following becomes your counsellor and you have to consider him like your ‘leader’. Only then, benefits can be gained and dreams can be appreciated. If we turn the pages of history Arjuna got so inspired after Lord Krishna’s sermons and he realized that if he did not listen to Lord Krishna at that time, then he will not be able to fight and protect Dharma’, as by that time he was totally influenced.

A TRUE LEADER ENKINDLES OUR FAITH IN THE ACTION

There are many saints who have earned name and fame in people’ s heart by simply following their ‘expert’ for an inspiration in life. So, an inspiration coming from the right person helps us to internalize our goals and we attain our mission Sometimes when we are depressed and are literally down in the junkyards, at that time a Comforting sentence or a gentle hand on the head gives us much required and desirable confidence and assurance. Such motivation goes a long way.

SUPPORT INSPIRATION

Therefore, one can work hard only if there is moral support and inspiration. As the saying goes that there can be perspiration only if there is an inspiration.

JOURNEY TO SANITY – ACCEPTANCE

We thrive to learn skills in order to make ourselves useful. But the most useful skill of all is the art of learning to do nothing. In this fast-moving world where everyone is doing something and proving themselves, a large group of people who are probably doing their best might start doubting their abilities and start to compare their success from that of others. This might form a vicious circle of never-ending doubt and low self-confidence. Over time, it might get serious and even effect a person’s ability to work or look at things with a clear perspective.
However, self-acceptance and self-awareness is a tool that might help rebuilding the confidence and boosting positivity. Self-acceptance means accepting oneself completely irrespective of the flaws.

The question that arises here is that how will accepting a flaw change the situation and make us feel better?

To answer that, Acceptance is the first step to change. Acceptance does not mean that we have to live with it whether we like or not. Acceptance is the fact that we are aware of the flaw. We know the flaw and how it effects us. Acceptance means knowing and understanding the flaw. One cannot change anything without knowing the cause of the problem. Now, that we have accepted the problem and are at peace with it’s presence, we start to take small steps to change it into the way we like.

Let’s understand it in a simple way
You hurt your finger while chopping vegetables. So, the first thing you do is notice the wound and clean it and then, apply appropriate antiseptic medicine. You do not deny to look at the cut and let it be to heal itself on it’s own. Moreover, if we leave a wound open it might even get infected or worse. Similarly, a flaw or a problem in our life is like a open wound. We might choose to ignore it but that will never solve the problem, rather it would make it worse. Just like the wounded finger our own wounds need to be seen and heard. It requires acceptance and then only we can choose the correct medicine or the correct way to heal it.
It might be difficult to begin with as we have been conditioned to constantly find our flaws and compare ourselves with others who are better than us. But only self-awareness and acceptance can change that. One of the most promising way to do that is listening to positive affirmation before going to bed and after waking up. Repeated affirmations might help the subconscious brain to reprogram itself into believing new things and changing itself.

Do not forget to read more from the series 🙂

JOURNEY TO SANITY – MINDFULNESS

JOURNEY TO SANITY -JOURNALING

JOURNEY TO SANITY – SELF CARE

JOURNEY TO SANITY – DOUBLE STANDARDS

JOURNEY TO SANITY – SUNSHINE 🌤️

FAILURES: REGRESSIVE OR PROGRESSIVE ?

“The only difference between success and failure is ability to take action.”….. Alexander Graham Bell

WHAT IS A FAILURE?

According to Wikipedia, “FAILURE is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as opposite of success.”

In another definition of “ FAILURE is the act of falling short of a goal of a person, who hasn’t achieved what they set out to. It is a cessation of proper functioning or performance or rather a decline in strength or effectiveness.”

HOW IS IT DIFFER WITH SUCCESS?

Your action in your field of work, in your niche, in your desired goal of life, actually work like a decisive factor. If you feel harassed, defeated, exhausted, and give up pursuing, your efforts are bound to hang in the hands of destiny. These things leave you to procrastinate. Start moving away from the active zone and surrender to a gloomy laziness and here begins your downfall.

Now if you see this entire act in opposite train, you are able to penetrate and grip the reason of failure. You reschedule and reprogram your activity. You put more organised, alive and determined endeavour and keep faith within yourself, you are bound to hug success.

FAILURES ARE OUR BEST TEACHERS.

They are stepping stones to success, or to put it in other Words, they are the pillars of success. Since failures teach us to introspect or peep within, they make us think of our weaknesses and flaws and learn lessons from them and vow not to repeat these mistakes again in life. In this way they are a mirror to our real personality and provide scope for upgrading ourselves. Failures may discourage, depress, or demoralize. Most do shake a person’s confidence at least for some time but nor for ever. The real strength of a man comes out only when he faces the ups and downs of life with patience and perseverance.

BE OPTIMISTIC

Men of courage face each rejection courageously and come out unharmed and unblemished. Failures and sufferings bring out the best of human beings. They learn that life is not a bed of roses only; it is full of challenges, obstacles and obstructions which can be set aside with persistent hard work and repeated efforts. To achieve anything in life one has to be aggressive, as nothing is achieved by being passive or pessimistic. Fear of failure may be a hindrance for some people, but to any daring person, it is just an illusion. You may think something is standing in your way, but there is nothing there.

You have an opportunity to do your best and conquer success. If it turns out that your best was not good enough, you’ll just have to look back and say, maybe I was too afraid to try, it was not good enough. There is nothing wrong with that, but nevertheless, a great eye-opener.

HOW DOES IT WORK LIKE A PROPELLING FACTOR?

Failure always made me try harder the next time. Think positive. and find fuel in failure’ is a sound advice. Failure will surely get you closer to where you want to be. The greatest discoverers had to face hundreds of failures before the final answers were found. The inventors, researchers and pathfinders had to encounter manifold hardships and opposition. But were they deterred by failures? Many often could not taste success but left great legacy to be followed by others to seek inspiration and take up their half-finished work. The world would not have progressed and the march to civilization would have halted if failures could dampen the spirit of the people. It is, therefore, advisable not to be discouraged by failures but to develop positive attitude to life, that obstacles are bound to be there. Only commitment to your mission must be steadfast.

SO…..NEVER GIVE UP

Therefore, when failures appear awfully incontrollable and life appears miserable, one has to remember “The end part of every night is the darkest one and then comes the dawn.” Thus, when nothing appears to work out in the desired way and all roads seems to lead to failures, one has to just remember the advent of the dawn. Therefore, we shouldn’t drop hope but keep on trying till we achieve. No one knows, that the final round exertion may declare one a champion.

Body positivity

I have thighs that giggle a little when I run. So what?

I like it that way.

When I adorn myself in a new black dress some tell that it adds on to my darkness. So what?

I like it that way.

People presume that I may have any syndrome as I appear very thin. So what?

I like it that way.

You would be shocked to know that 20% of adults feel shamed and depressed of their body weight. Adults say that the images used in magazines and advertisements have caused them to worry about their body weight. 64% of teenage boys and 94% of teenage girls are being body shamed for the way their body looks. A doctor says that she sees patients as young as six years old with body image issues. Anorexia Nervosa is an earing disorder causing people to obsess about their body weight with an unwarranted fear of being overweight. It is the most lethal of all psychiatric conditions. It is the leading cause of death of many teenage girls.

Is being plus body sized, dusky, dark complexed or being very thin becomes a stigma or an an insecurity or does it mean that a person isn’t beautiful enough?

Body positivity renders a great response to all of these alike questions. Body is neither an object of shame nor an entitlement. Body positivity is a social movement initially laid to empower and popularize overweight women and men, while also challenging the ways in which the society presents and views a physical body. The movement advocates the acceptance of all physical bodies irrespective of size, race, appearance or physical ability. It asserts that all people over here deserve to have a positive body image, regardless of how others view them. It also recognizes that judgements are often made based on race, gender, shape, and appearance.

What do we mean by being beautiful? Is it being fair, slim, tall, chubby cheeks and rosy lips? The definition of beauty is being switched over randomly by people in line with their marketing of products. A Hair product adverts that silky and smooth hair is beauty. A skin product adverts that the soap and creams they vend makes you more beautiful. A diet product adverts that the food they provide you, turns you to size zero. All of these beauties just end up being a fantasy. What actually beauty means? It is possessing the quality that gives pleasure or satisfaction to see hear and think about. It is about being genuine, authentic and real, being yourself. Dimple chin or double chin doesn’t matter, DARE TO BE YOURSELF.

By whom are these are these beauty standards being framed ? Day in and day out people are being influenced by several factors like advertisements, brands, magazines and influencers who device body image problems and then exploit them. When we were young we would have had a great craze for barbie dolls which dictated the definition of beauty( fair, slim and tall). According to a study done the barbie dolls does have a huge effect on a younger and older girls’ self esteem because if a child is raised with dolls such as barbie wouldn’t their idea of perfect body image come from their experience by playing with their perfect barbie dolls. When we grow up beauty brands define perfect skin, fair and spotless. Images used in magazines, televisions and newspapers influence the concept of an ideal body weight of nearly 70% adolescent girls. In this world where beauty care is an investment people are expecting the providers of said products to deliver results. There are still products who actually do what they claim and invest on the actual research of products. However in this world where persuasion is done by emotion a lot of beauty care brands invest in advertisements rather than on the real products. If we think in depth beauty brands use hashtags like #loveyourself and #beyourself but are they really encouraging us to do so? They obliquely delude us that we aren’t beautiful enough and impose their selling of products on us. By using our ignorance the cosmetic industry climbs up and up the ladder.

Be aware of the business behind the products you use. Get rid of the unreal things happening around you. Body positivity is the only weapon to overcome these unreal beauty facts created by random people and stop getting influenced. It is the idea that one should be proud, happy and comfortable of ourselves regardless of the size and looks. Body positivity movement has flooded the timeline for years now. There are some who say that it promotes unhealthy lifestyle and encourages obesity, but the movement is all about self acceptance and not letting your physical appearance let you down. Don’t try hard to stick to the stereotypical order that someone has created. KNOW YOUR WORTH AND DEFINE YOUR OWN BEAUTY. There are many ways to motivate you to lose or gain weight but if you dont wish to do so gain enough confidence lose your timidness and confront others valiantly.

DONT TRY TO IMPRESS PEOPLE BY BECOMING FAIR OR SLIM , INSPIRE THEM BY BEING YOURSELF!!!

SELF-CARE

Self-care is the practice of taking care of our mental, emotional and, physical health. We must take care of ourselves and our well-being. We often don’t give time to ourselves because we are too busy or are occupied with technology.

People who prioritise self-care practices in their lives are often more likely to be happy, confident and, successful. It also shows people that you value yourself and your life. You instantly feel more productive and are in a state of peace with yourself.  

Here are a few things which you can do daily for self-care. These things don’t consume a lot of time and can easily be added to your daily routine.

Getting adequate sleep: It is a no-brainer that our body needs an adequate amount of sleep to function well. Sleeping for a good amount of time not only helps prevent health problems but also increases our productivity during the day. It also keeps us in a better mood and we are less likely to feel annoyed when things go wrong.

Doing mornings right: Every day is a new day and our day starts in the morning. So, we must do our morning right. Let’s start with waking up a little early than usual so we don’t have to rush to our work.

 The next thing is to not go on our devices, going on social media or thinking about work is not the best thing to do the moment you wake up. We wake up every morning with a positive thought and we need to maintain that so our day goes well.

We need to add an activity that allows us to give time to ourselves. Adding this activity will make us feel better because we are not just waking up to work but we have things that we do for ourselves in the morning.

The activity can be as simple as making your morning tea and drinking it while reading a newspaper, magazine, or book. You can also simply meditate or do yoga for 15 min. Giving yourself a peaceful time in the morning is important.

Giving your body nutrients: An important part of self-care is to take care of our health. Our body needs various vitamins and nutrients. So, make sure you eat food rich in vitamins. Eating healthy will fulfil your body’s needs and will also make you feel good about yourself. A healthy body leads to a healthy mind.

Get your body moving: Doing something physical every day is important. You can choose any activity of your choice. It can vary from an hour of the gym to a walk for 20 minutes. Anything that gets your body moving is considered a physical activity even dancing to your favourite songs.

Getting organized: You will never feel like good working or living in a cluttered environment. So, make sure that your things are organized and are kept properly. A lot of people also consider organizing things therapeutic as it helps them clear their thoughts. If you are someone who procrastinates a lot before cleaning or organizing there is a tip for you too. Every day set a timer for 10 minutes to organize things. This way you won’t feel pressured to work and you will feel accomplished after completing your tasks.

Me time: Giving time to yourself is the most important part of self-care. Me time will allow your brain to connect with yourself. It will help reduce stress and will instantly brighten your mood up. A few things you can do in your me-time are:

  • Cook something fun
  • Sing or dance
  • Create an art piece
  • Journal
  • Take a bubble bath
  • Paint your nails
  • Treat yourself

These things will allow you to enjoy time with yourself and, it will also make you appreciate yourself. Me-time is important because, before we enjoy and spend time with others we need to be happy in our own company.

Self-Love and Body-positivity

In a time where everyone considered life as a race, everything is treated as a rival, and everything has a price tag, when profits come first and the reality comes second, we fail to pause, smile, and enjoy the moments and experience the joy. What are we missing to have a happier life, just as we’ve always dreamed of? What’s it going to take to be happy?


We all expect to be loved, to be cared for, to be noticed, to be appreciated, to have the good that we give to others. But, are you in love with yourself? Do you think you should ask someone else to love you if you don’t love you yourself?
This is where we go with self-love and body positivity. This culture will make us mad sometimes, try to change us, bind us, before we get better than shapeshifters. We have a duty to defend ourselves, we have a right to be happy. However, the concept of self-love and body positivity is under misconception.

Self-love doesn’t mean to dream about expensive things and luxury, and body positivity certainly doesn’t mean that we don’t care how we look. Through self-love and body positivity hand in hand, you will cultivate your life and mend your mind to a positive lifestyle. In the same way, the significance and value of these definitions should be fully grasped.

Self-love can begin by challenging yourself and looking for answers inside yourself. Speak to yourself, understand what you want, treat yourself like you deserve to be viewed, fill yourself with good feelings, praise yourself, sing a song about yourself, engage yourself with what makes you happy, meet positive people, do things that can motivate you to become a happier person.

Body positivity should begin by respecting what you are, how you look, and being able to take good care of the outside. If you’re short or tall, fair or dusty, lanky or chubby, you can be stunning. Don’t ignore your look in the name of body positivity, the true idea of this should be to express how amazing you are for your individuality. Activities that can help improve the body’s balance with your consciousness, dance, exercise, swim, there are a couple. Making sure you dress up for yourself, so that you can feel confident and relaxed with how you look.

Proper self-love and body positivity would certainly make us better off both internally and externally.

Beauty comes in all shades, shapes and sizes.

Must Do activities for College Student

As a college student and a teen you are at the most important entropy peak of your life, because it’s the turning point moment in your life where you can, build the best version of yourself and excel in life.

So for doing that there are lots of ways and methods to do that but the basic things which we can add up in our daily life routine and it will definitely proved to be an asset in your life.


1. Planning The Day.

At this young age we mostly focus on enjoying life and not taking thing’s seriously and we end up wasting lots of time. So have a fixed sleeping routine, plan your Daily work schedule and stick to it. Because this will not only make you productive but also saves lots of time to enjoy, because enjoying is also necessary for healthy and happy life.

2. Daily Exercise or Workout 

It is mandatory for everybody to exercise daily, whether its Gyming or doing Yoga thats your choice. Because for working productively you need to be healthy. So, try to sleep early at night and wake up early in the morning, so that you can complete your exercise at morning it will be better, otherwise its your choice but perform your exercises daily.


3. Gain Knowledge, Out of your syllabus.

It means that don’t only stick to the college course material, follow your passion and work on it by taking help of books, articles, journals, online courses, etc. Because it will not only make you happy but also provide you a special recognition in your group.

4. Real Life experiences 

Try to gain some real life experiences by others people experiences, they can be your family members or someone unknown to you. Watch various Podcasts, interviews etc. This will help you tremendously in your personal and Professional life both.

5. Be Socially active

Don’t be the book worm always. Divide some time to your activities, be socially active and available to people around you by various social media sites like LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, etc. This will help you being connected with others and also let you updated with whats happening in the world amd also let you aware of different opportunities .

6. Be Spiritual 

Now with this, I mean that you should believe in the different kinds of energies around you, whatever the from may be that’s your choice and be thankful for what you have in life. Because it will help you in being happy from inside and makes you a humble person, who is free from problems like stress, anxiety in life.

That’s it!, these are the must do things which will help us develp ourselves and a happy environment for society.

Thank You 🙂

 ॐ नमः शिवाय

Article Written by: Ratan Kumar Ojha

NEVER SAY MORE THAN IS NECESSARY

Richard Brinsley sheridan, a famous Irish Playwright  and Poet  said “Never say more than is necessary”.This saying is very common in  our Daily life. When we talk more than is necessary it leds to problems. It is true , the more one person speaks , the more that person creates question in other person’s mind. And in the midst of speaking, the secret which is kept inside may slip out  of one’s mouth unconditionally. As a human knowledge is required to preserve ,the more we speak we give away the knowledge we have in ourselves. Even our speaking manner and materials  reveals about our nature and   traits  , our personality. And this helps people to guess about our further steps and actions. Even  people often get fooled for this habit of their.

Advantage of speaking normal is it puts others in a defensive mode. Mahatma Gandhi  talked what was necessary, hence , the people around them and  English company  not able to suspect  his next steps which led them to fail to take steps to  prevent  his  future movements and therefore he won Independence. 
 One more thing ,  some people think they can impress people by  their words but there also remains  some gaps – when we are trying to impress people, the more we say we become common to people in appearance and less in control. Even if one say something  banal, it will seem  original if you  make it open minded and sphinx like. Powerful and succesful people impress  others by speaking less. The more you speak, the more likely you are to say something foolish.
 It is a very fundamental rule going on from many years. People like to speak about their life  and share all bullshit things , thus , they expose their personal life to the outer world.
 Thus we should practice ourselves to listen more and speak less as-
1.Speaking less will make people reveal more about them. Your short answer and defence will stand as  defence and they will jump in their comments which rather will reveal about themselves than others.
2.speaking less will help people to listen and interpret about you   carefully. They have to know what you are thinking. People cannot pierce your intentions and meaning, when you carefully control what you reveal.
3. Human tongue is uncontrollable, only few people can have control over it. Be particularly careful with sarcasm. We often get satisfaction by saying our rough words but it creares our image too.
4. The more you say , the more common you  become to people and they will no more value your words.
5. Speaking less will save you from speaking something dangerous and harmful . Take the foolish act of coriolanus , a military hero of Rome around 454 BC. People held him in awe. His speach appeared to be arrogance , cruelty.
6.people will never decieve as they don’t know about your position. According to  louis xiv gave rise to  “i will see” a   very short phrase which said in polite manner.so, let everyone speak , you be a careful listener , to know the people’s views about you and their own reality.
Saying /speaking less  is not for high authority people applicable but also for normal common people. In every sector of life , the less you open up yourself to people , you become profound and mysterious to them. The more less you speak , you appear intelligence and powerful to people. So, the less you speak up , the less risk you face in life in regarding  difficulties. 
 Moreover, with development of technology and emergence of new era , people are  more likely to be find  silent suppressing all their words and feelings, as we all  know  all are ready to spread salt to your wounds oray take advantages of your weakness.  So , better change habit , it will be beneficial to all people  not only in personal life but also in occupational sector.

How To Be Happy

Happiness is word full of joy and broad smiles. It is a never-ending trail of hunt for which everyone keep on searching throughout. But what happiness truly is? Is it having luxurious cars around you? Or is it having a feet long pool? Is it having your favourite ice cream on a bad day? Or is it playing football in the rain? 

All of it must have been recognised by you as happiness but in reality, these are just a way to your happiness. Pathways that lead you to happiness.
Happiness is a state of mind. A pause in the hustling time when you feel, feel alive. The sense of accomplishment of anything that calm your soul and maintain your peace is happiness. When our mind is relaxed and at peace, everything seems happier but if we are troubled, even the finest have flaws. 
Most of the people miss to understand the real meaning of happiness. Ofcourse, the way they see it, the things that make them happy are indeed what happiness is but all these are the pathways that leads them to the real meaning of happiness. The truth of happiness is the cause of them being happy in the definition of their happiness.
Happiness really doesn’t come free of cost. You have to live it and feel it. People need to understand that

Happiness is a choice. Once, if you choose to be happy, there is nobody who can stop you from being that.

Being happy has a direct connection with your mind. If you seek happiness with your senses, for sure you will find it. Some of the ways to be happy are :

Acceptance 

Mark a note about it for life that 
Acceptance is the key to a smooth, happy and peaceful life.
When we accept things as the way they are, we feel satisfied and when a person is satisfied, they feel happy and grateful for the way everything is/was. Accepting things and being satisfied lead us to being positive about life, and thus thankful for same. Eventually, this sense of acceptance will make you feel stronger and thus happier. You will let go things and accept some and will improve or develop skills and abilities, stepping forward to growth.

Generosity

“Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously”     The holy Bible marks the purpose and forecoming of being generous in life. Being kind and humble to people make a person feel better and accomplished about themselves. To be able to serve the needy and helping somebody in their hard time is indeed one of the things that make people happy. When we give, we feel good and it comes back to us in unexpected ways. Always be humble to people, seeing the others smiling at you will make you feel better and happy. 

Create your own Happiness.

The best way to be happy is by creating your happiness on your own. Choosing to be happy. Choosing to have a smile on you always, not just for showing but because you genuinely are smiling from inside. Do whatever makes you smile. Go out, feel things, be thankful. Having a sense of thankfulness and gratitude is a way to ace happiness and peace. The more gratitude you have, the happier you are. Be positive about everything and be realistic. Do whatever you feel like but ofcourse not without thinking. Smile more, but not the fake one. Spend time in the real world not the social one. Say goodbyes to the toxicity and negativity from your lives. And when you are awa from all of this dust, do whatever you feel like and want to. Feel free to feel anything. Feel free to hear the birds chirping, to dance yourself off and love yourself. When you love everything about you and everything around you, you feel better. 

And you will be the happiest the moment you chose to live not to just exist. When you accept and move forward to brighter days with confidence and optimism in your veins, happiness itself will come and knock your door. Just remember, it will always be you who can either multiply or divide the happiness coming your way. Smile! I am already thankful for those which read it till yet, Thankyou and please smile? You’re so freaking precious when you smile! 

FIRING THE BLAME BULLET

The popular game PUBG has weapon attachments that reduces weapon recoil. It makes life easier for the players. Recoil is the backward movement of a gun when a bullet is discharged. It is helpful to know which attachments help players to shoot better and more effectively without hurting themselves in the process due to the tremendous force at which the shots are fired.

In real life when we point the gun at someone, how badly are we affected?

Well fortunately for us, in India, there exists some tight Gun laws except for the water guns’ kids play with during Holi and Gangsters. Hence here I talk about the abstract gun which fires the Bullets of Blame on others. Pointing finger at anybody who is in sight, was my favorite thing to do in any situation.

The blaming gun can also point upwards or inwards. When it points upwards, we blame the Creator for being unintelligent or uncaring or even non-existent. When it points inwards, we beat ourselves down with self-recrimination, “I am good-for-nothing,” ending up unnecessarily with inferiority complex.

How many of you, like me; are blamers? How many of you, when something goes wrong, the first thing you want to know is whose fault it is? Well Hello there, I’m the former winner of the Miss Blamer Pageant and the magnitude to which I blamed others with respect to everything that went wrong in my life was comical.

I’m in my house. I have on white slacks and a pink sweater. I’m drinking a full cup of coffee in my kitchen. I drop it on the tiled floor. It goes into a million pieces and splashes up all over me. And a millisecond after it hit the floor, right out of my mouth comes this: “DAMN YOU CHINA!” For purposefully making these cups so shiny and slippery. Now my entire kitchen is infected by the tiny pieces of ceramic (China clay). The kitchen has to be quarantined until I clean it up…or somebody else cleans it up, never mind.

Now as I have aged, I realized- I’d rather it be my fault than no one’s fault. BUT WHY? Cause it gives me some semblance of control. Blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain. It has an inverse relation with accountability. What is the difference? Well accountability by definition is a vulnerable process wherein I confide to you, “Hey my feelings were really hurt by the things you said/did.” Blaming is simply a way to express anger.

People who blame a lot seldom have the tenacity and grit to actually hold people accountable because we spend all of our energy raging for 15 seconds and figuring out whose fault something is. Blaming’s very corrosive in relationships and it’s one of the reasons we miss our opportunities for empathy. Because when something happens and we hear the story, we’re not really listening, we’re in the place where I was – making the connections as quickly as we can about whose fault it was.

SO, DO I START BLAMING MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING?!

In the spiritual path, self-blame is the most dangerous thing. Firstly, stop blaming yourself and others. We don’t have to point the gun at others or our own heads. Let us drop the gun and never pick it up, ever again.

Secondly, we need to come out of the Destiny’s Illusion. Never focus on what you can’t do, focus on what you can do. If we keep on focusing on what we can do- Then even if you believe in destiny, it will be a good one for you. Blaming your destiny will close doors to all the wonderful opportunities waiting for you.

A child runs a race with his full speed & energy and yet comes last in it. Losing the race was not his fault but taking part in the wrong race is definitely a mistake worth correcting. To simplify- Making a mistake is not your fault but doing it without your interest in it, is a mistake that can be rectified.

To solve the problem, we need; not a blaming bullet, but a helping hatchet. Not a blaming finger but a helping hand. Making mistake is in our nature. Acceptance of mistake shows our culture and correcting the mistake is progress. I do accept that spilling that damn coffee was my fault, however damn you CHINA for making the cup which broke and spread on the entire floor leaving my kitchen dangerous to walk on freely. * Gun drop * I meant MIC DROP…..phew!