Tag: #Happiness

Destructive Habits: Bias

There are many habits that destroy your mental peace, happiness and mostly you. Some of them are usually with different addictions or because of people but what destroys you as a person depends on how you view things and people around you. Your environment is what shapes you but to be different, you have to do it by yourself. 

The most common habits have become common because we are more focused elsewhere than ourselves. To be a better version of yourself, you need to view your flaws and work on them.

  1. Spotlight Effect: We overestimate how much attention people give to our words and appearance. Imagine you said something but it felt wrong after it came out. In reality, everyone only remembers it for the moment and immediately moves to the next topic. We ponder over it for days, forgetting that others don’t care as much as we do about it.

Example: “The red shoes don’t match the outfit at all! I guess the guys are laughing because of it”

*Red shoes matched the outfit better than you imagined*

Truth: No one cares about you as much as your loved ones do. Everyone is just a temporary traveler in your life and you have to be okay with it. Dress how you want and be how you want to be. 

  1. Status Quo Bias: We prefer for things to be the same; usually change is viewed as a negative aspect of life. If you adopt a new habit that cuts out something from your life, you immediately feel guilty of not being able to manage it, so you quit your new habit for the old one because it feels more comfortable.

Example: “I like to paint, but the classes are on Friday, I won’t be able to party! I can always paint later so let’s party now!”

*Proceeds to miss out on an amazing experience*

Truth: Change is hard. To adapt to a new routine and new place is always difficult and your mind is stuck on the old routine, but only then do you learn more about yourself. You may like to paint now, but when you explore it, you may not want to put the brush down! You need to explore that change for a while to know more about yourself.

  1. Zeigarnik Effect: We focus more on the incomplete tasks than the ones that have been completed. Sometimes, we forget to see that we have accomplished many things on the way, and we focus on the ones that we have not accomplished yet. It pushes you to feel bad that you are not able to do anything. 

Example: “Bro I lost the Table-Tennis Pan-India Semi-finals! I feel so like I can’t do it anymore”

*Came so far by winning championships and tournaments*

Truth: You have to see where you are today. Look behind you and see the different hurdles you had to come across. You didn’t cross them just to go back did you? It does feel bad to not achieve something the first time you try it, but when you achieve it, after toiling for some time, the fruit is incomparable.

  1. Pessimism Bias: We tend to overestimate the possibility of negative outcomes. We always have a small part of your mind that searches for a negative outcome. What you see and ask for, is what you get and have. You will increase the chance of losing the opportunity if all you see is losing it.

Example: “I feel like I will lose this chance to be head of department, there are so many others who are way more qualified.”

*Loses opportunity because it messed with your confidence and screwed your interview*

Truth: What energy you put out, is what you usually get. Sometimes, you lose opportunities, but don’t dwell on the wrong aspects. You may not have the necessary qualifications but the way you portray yourself is what gets you opportunities.

  1. Sunken-Cost Fallacy: We invest more in things that have cost us something, even if we have negative outcomes. We feel that if we invest more, the difference can be recovered with just a little gain.

Example: “My portfolio is down by 25%! I will invest 50% of it so with a 25% gain, I can recover the loss”

*Proceeds to lose more because the stock market is in a bear phase*

  1. Self-serving Bias: Our failures are situational but our success is our hardwork’s result. We view that our failures are determined by external factors and our success is because of us. It is also difficult to ascertain what caused success or failure on the spot so we divide it based on the result.

Example: “I lost the game because the opponent was too strong. I got the best player of the match because I practiced well”

*Opponent won because of your overconfidence in your practice*

“The eyes sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.”

~Robertson Davies

Sometimes, we see these habits recurring but we don’t want to change because we feel it will make others dislike us. By changing, you are not making your friends feel bad but giving them a chance to understand that it’s time to improve. It’s time to make yourself the person you always wanted to be. Everyday is a learning step and only then can you improve. These habits of biasing situations have a lot of effect on where you are and where  you want to be.

This post has been inspired by Ankur Warikoo. You can check his post on LinkedIn here!

This was a delight to write about. I hope you have found this article interesting and let me know about your thoughts on this. Keep on smiling!

Destructive Habits: Bias

There are many habits that destroy your mental peace, happiness and mostly you. Some of them are usually with different addictions or because of people but what destroys you as a person depends on how you view things and people around you. Your environment is what shapes you but to be different, you have to do it by yourself. 

The most common habits have become common because we are more focused elsewhere than ourselves. To be a better version of yourself, you need to view your flaws and work on them.

  1. Spotlight Effect: We overestimate how much attention people give to our words and appearance. Imagine you said something but it felt wrong after it came out. In reality, everyone only remembers it for the moment and immediately moves to the next topic. We ponder over it for days, forgetting that others don’t care as much as we do about it.

Example: “The red shoes don’t match the outfit at all! I guess the guys are laughing because of it”

*Red shoes matched the outfit better than you imagined*

Truth: No one cares about you as much as your loved ones do. Everyone is just a temporary traveler in your life and you have to be okay with it. Dress how you want and be how you want to be. 

  1. Status Quo Bias: We prefer for things to be the same; usually change is viewed as a negative aspect of life. If you adopt a new habit that cuts out something from your life, you immediately feel guilty of not being able to manage it, so you quit your new habit for the old one because it feels more comfortable.

Example: “I like to paint, but the classes are on Friday, I won’t be able to party! I can always paint later so let’s party now!”

*Proceeds to miss out on an amazing experience*

Truth: Change is hard. To adapt to a new routine and new place is always difficult and your mind is stuck on the old routine, but only then do you learn more about yourself. You may like to paint now, but when you explore it, you may not want to put the brush down! You need to explore that change for a while to know more about yourself.

  1. Zeigarnik Effect: We focus more on the incomplete tasks than the ones that have been completed. Sometimes, we forget to see that we have accomplished many things on the way, and we focus on the ones that we have not accomplished yet. It pushes you to feel bad that you are not able to do anything. 

Example: “Bro I lost the Table-Tennis Pan-India Semi-finals! I feel so like I can’t do it anymore”

*Came so far by winning championships and tournaments*

Truth: You have to see where you are today. Look behind you and see the different hurdles you had to come across. You didn’t cross them just to go back did you? It does feel bad to not achieve something the first time you try it, but when you achieve it, after toiling for some time, the fruit is incomparable.

  1. Pessimism Bias: We tend to overestimate the possibility of negative outcomes. We always have a small part of your mind that searches for a negative outcome. What you see and ask for, is what you get and have. You will increase the chance of losing the opportunity if all you see is losing it.

Example: “I feel like I will lose this chance to be head of department, there are so many others who are way more qualified.”

*Loses opportunity because it messed with your confidence and screwed your interview*

Truth: What energy you put out, is what you usually get. Sometimes, you lose opportunities, but don’t dwell on the wrong aspects. You may not have the necessary qualifications but the way you portray yourself is what gets you opportunities.

  1. Sunken-Cost Fallacy: We invest more in things that have cost us something, even if we have negative outcomes. We feel that if we invest more, the difference can be recovered with just a little gain.

Example: “My portfolio is down by 25%! I will invest 50% of it so with a 25% gain, I can recover the loss”

*Proceeds to lose more because the stock market is in a bear phase*

  1. Self-serving Bias: Our failures are situational but our success is our hardwork’s result. We view that our failures are determined by external factors and our success is because of us. It is also difficult to ascertain what caused success or failure on the spot so we divide it based on the result.

Example: “I lost the game because the opponent was too strong. I got the best player of the match because I practiced well”

*Opponent won because of your overconfidence in your practice*

“The eyes sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.”

~Robertson Davies

Sometimes, we see these habits recurring but we don’t want to change because we feel it will make others dislike us. By changing, you are not making your friends feel bad but giving them a chance to understand that it’s time to improve. It’s time to make yourself the person you always wanted to be. Everyday is a learning step and only then can you improve. These habits of biasing situations have a lot of effect on where you are and where  you want to be.

This post has been inspired by Ankur Warikoo. You can check his post on LinkedIn here!

This was a delight to write about. I hope you have found this article interesting and let me know about your thoughts on this. Keep on smiling!

A trip to cherish!

Image credit: http://www.alamy.com

When my Nani and I were drinking chai and chatting about random topics a few days ago at her home in Surat, she began talking about her early years spent in Ahmedabad. She told me about her family, the people there, the delectable food, the holidays she celebrated with them, and the spots where she used to hang out with her friends. Her descriptions piqued my enthusiasm for travelling to Ahmedabad and exploring the city.

          So, the following morning, I was prepared with my bag and a train ticket in hand and departed for the station after bidding my family farewell. I travelled with one of my cousins because she had visited Ahmedabad previously and was familiar with the area’s landmarks. We left Surat station at eight in the morning and arrived at Ahmedabad station around noon after a four-hour journey. Later on arriving at my cousin’s home, we relaxed there for a while before starting our city tour. I still can remember how I couldn’t contain my excitement to explore the places.

                    We started our trip at Jama Masjid. 

            We learned that the mosque was constructed by Ahmad Shah in 1424. The mosque’s architecture was such that it gleamed beautifully in the sunlight. 

                   The tombs of the male and female members of Ahmad Shah’s royal family, Badshah no Hajiro and Rani no Hajiro, respectively, were the next stop on our tour. Since women couldn’t enter Badshah no Hajiro, we snapped some photos of the monument from the outside.

                  On arriving at the female tomb, we discovered that the street leading there had changed to serve as a neighbourhood women’s market. I was surprised to find an antique jewellery piece at the market that I could afford to buy for my Nani as a souvenir, given that antiques are typically pricey.

                  After a few hours of exploring these monuments, we went to Manek chowk’s hustling and bustling market. It was late in the evening so it was pretty crowded with people. The aroma of the delicious street food hit us and we decided to dive in. We tried some of the popular food items of the chowk which includes Ghugra sandwich, Gotala Dosa, Fafda Jalebi, Dhokla and Methi Gota. I can still remember how delicious they tasted. We wound up exploring for the day.

                On the second day of the tour,  we started with having breakfast at a well-known neighbourhood eatery and later travelled to the Sabarmati Ashram. We learnt about its history and spoke with the women who worked there, who gave us information about the Ashram and the city’s rich culture. The ashram was exquisitely constructed.

                 The Sabarmati Riverfront was our next stop, followed by the lakeside flower garden. From the riverfront, there was a breathtaking vista.

                 The third and final day of my journey to Ahmedabad, I made the decision to wrap it up by going to the Utkantheshwar Temple in Sarkhej. It made me feel divine and grateful for my decision to travel to Ahmedabad. This city is truly, incredibly extraordinary.

https://edupubnews.wordpress.com/2022/07/02/how-to-win-an-argument/
https://edupubnews.wordpress.com/2022/06/27/hustle-culture-a-trend-or-trending-problem-for-the-youth/

Key to Happiness

What is happiness? It is something demanded by each and every being on this planet. People search for happiness in books, lectures, speaker sessions, etc, but where actually happiness lies? This articles discusses some key points of happiness and how to achieve them:

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” – Abraham Lincoln

Happiness is the end of every action and is the ultimate goal of human being. As defined by Aristotle :

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life , the whole aim and end of human existence.”

Feelings

Do you have any idea what feelings actually are? There are people who know it, there might be people who don’t know. Feeling are actually your true personality.

Feelings actually represent your true personality. Like for instance we know many people around us cry by Justin emotional scene in the movie, what does it represent? It represents that they are soft hearted people it’s a part of the personality, they are emotional.

And in this world you cannot actually categorise feelings because in human there are so many types of feeling that we can’t even express many of them. We have sometimes very weird feelings that we can’t even express them. Just think it yourself you might be having such feelings at some point in your life.

A feeling of joy, a feeling of happiness, a feeling of sadness, a feeling of embarrassment etc. The list goes on and on and on. Here we meet categorised feeling in some of the specified sections, but the reality is that they are really very vast.

Sometime we have combinations of feelings together that we can’t give it a new name. And in reality your personality e is Defined by how you feel about each and everything around you. Feelings are a part of your thoughts. How we think of each and everything, ultimately develop feelings in everybody. That’s why everybody have different feelings in a same situation.

8 Foods For Our Moods

Everything has a vibration. Whatever you do,say,eat and drink has an effect on you. It either builds you up or breaks you down without your knowledge. An unhealthy diet comprising of less vegetables and organic food can effect your mood drastically. Other than obesity, It also attracts sadness, frustration and negativity as a whole.

Having organic food and a balanced diet has a contrary effect.  It makes us feel energetic, refreshed, alive and happy. In simple words, it boosts our mood and lifts our vibes. It assists us in attracting what we desire . Good health and good mind are very closely related to each other. Let us look into some of these uplifting foods:

 

• Green Leafy Vegetables: Leafy Vegetables are organic and the fresher they are, the better. Spinach, chard and other dark leafy vegetables contain magnesium which positively effects serotonin and boosts our mood. Lack of magnesium can cause a risk of anxiety and depression.

• Beans: As protein packed foods, beans contribute to our mental health through the fibre present in them. Fibre helps regulate blood sugar which  in turn makes our mood better. Beans are also an excellent source of magnesium, iron, potassium and phosphorus.

• Bananas: Bananas appear in every list of food concerning mood boosts. They are high in Vitamin B6 which synthesize feel good neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine. Bananas consist both sugar and fibre. Sugar, when paired with fibre, releases slowly into our bloodstream allowing for stable blood sugar levels which stabilizes our mood. Low blood sugar levels may lead to mood swings.

Bananas with a green coloured peel are a great source of probiotics which is a kind of fibre which helps feed healthy bacteria to our gut.

• Berries: Berries are packed with a variety of antioxidants. Blueberries are rich in the antioxidant flavonoids which assist in activating brain pathways associated with reduced inflammation and risk of depression. Blueberries and strawberries contain a compound called polyphenolics which improves concentration, memory and attention span.

 

• Salmon: Salmons are rich in omega-3, fatty acids. Especially DHA and EPA. Omega acids are anti inflammatory and are necessary for brain and nervous system development. EPA and DHA have shown to eliminate depression and they can effect our personality and impulse control. Salmons are also high in proteins, Vitamin B12 and D. Vitamin D is linked to better and stable mood. Vitamin B12 on the other hand works in cooperation with folate to help convert amino acids into neurotransmitters which are found in low levels among depression patients.

• Almonds: Almonds are rich in protein  including tyrosine for neurotransmitter production It also contains Vitamin E, magnesium and fibre. As an antioxidant, Vitamin E can help fight radical damage in the brain and has shown to improve memory and cognition.Almonds and walnuts have calcium which can help offset hormonal imbalance in women and decrease the symptoms of depression, anxiety, irritability and impaired memory.

Cashews on the other hand, are rich in tryptophan, a neuro chemical which our body turns into serotonin. Vitamin B6 and magnesium present in cashews help to control mood swings. A handful of unsalted cashews are just enough to get the necessary nutrients.

However, not everytime one may feel like indulging in organic foods. In such cases, one may try chocolates! Dark chocolates, to be specific.  Rich in many mood boosting compounds, its sugar is a quick source of fuel to the brain which in return may improve our mood. It helps reducing anxiety and improves the conditions of clinical depression. Dark chocolates with large amounts of cacao can have positive effects on stress levels and even the immunity. It releases feel good compounds such as caffeine and N-acylethanolamine which is chemically similar to cannabinoids that is linked to an improved mood.

Coffee: For some of us, Coffee is a mood saver. Indeed it is. Its high level of caffeine and chlorogenic acid boosts our mood. The caffeine increases our attention by preventing adesnosine from attaching to the brain receptors that promote tiredness.The list of such food goes on. Some examples are oats,lentils,eggs,herbs,spices, fermented foods and tea.

The list of such food goes on. Some examples are oats,lentils,eggs,herbs,spices, fermented foods and tea.

 

There are  lists of healthy foods,habits,lifestyle,behaviour and practices . What makes them healthy is the vibes and energy which they carry. It is known amongst many that how a vegetarian diet can help to calm down a person. How exercises boosts our mood and how meditation helps us understand ourselves better.

All of these practices are healthy because they help to promote good vibes in us. When we come in contact with something which vibrates at a higher frequency, it improves our vibrations . When we inculcate activities with such  high frequency vibrations, we improve our own vibes. Thereby, attracting positivity.

Good Vibes Only

Source: svgfiles.us

Vibes are natural. They can be so easily faked by certain overly positive phrases similar to the title, that it becomes more difficult for us to experience sadness as just another part of our lives. Sadness is a valid emotional state. Let no post, quote or smiling person tell you it’s not

You see, juices too have the tag ‘Natural’ written in front of the tetra packets with a huge list of ingredients at the back. Good vibes is sold in somewhat a similar manner. ‘Good vibes only’ written in the front with tons of unsolved situations, sadness, depression, melancholy hiding behind.

But their Intentions are good,right?

Yes, just like the beauty brands which have good and pure intentions. Just like beauty brands want you to feel good and look good by using THEIR products, THEIR way and THEIR standards. Just like the whispering about how you should look to be perceived as glamourous behind the simple phrases like ‘Look good, feel good, be you’.
‘Good vibes only’ is a phrase which has become overly common on social media platforms. ‘Good Vibes’ are possible but ‘Only’ is less of a motivational advice and more of a ‘This is how you should feel’. On careful observation you will find it to be a sweet manipulation. And we buy it! So they sell it.
Just like we change ourselves little by little by falling for this fake goodness, we also remain unaware of the term called ‘mental health’. Even the well known writers were not born with good vibes pouring from them. It was their sadness, hurdles, frustrations,teenage,failures and gloomy days which had built them up.

Self Help Books promote good vibes too. What about them?

They promote good vibes while also putting forward the lesson that it cannot be achieved in a day. The writers often give a piece of their own past lifestyles while explaining the change in them or by mentioning the journey of some other renowned personality’s life. In the books it is often directly or indirectly mentioned how failures and hurdles help you understand the difference between wants and needs. Pleasure and purpose. Wrong and right. To be or to do.
The self help books are like a manual to an improved life. Sometimes our obsession to be positive makes us buy tons of self help books. But honestly, you need one, two or maximum three authors to know HOW to be positive. Such books are rather a process put forward which can help us be positive rather than a huge command asking us to BE POSTIVE straightaway.

So, we should be sad?

We should enjoy that emotion equally. In my previous article I had mentioned how you should accept your emotions. Its okay to feel how you feel. Its okay to have mental disorders. Its okay to be cynical. Its okay to be pessimist.
Feedback is necessary to improve yourselves. You get judged once, you ignore it and you may ignore it even after few more judgements regarding the same aspect of yours. But when many people will point that same aspect of yours again and again, you will know that there is indeed something wrong about it. That is how you understand where you need to improve. That is when you may start self introspection. Asking for feedback or getting unwanted feedbacks is not a pleasant experience. It never is. So what? You will cut them of? You will perceive them as someone who is jealous of you? Someone who eludes bad vibes?

In such a case you need to understand that your ‘good vibes’ is being fueled by ego. Surround yourself with people who do judge you. Sometimes you effortlessly get surrounded by such people. Sometimes, that is what even true friends do. They point it out on your face. We do need a second person’s perspective of us to know ourselves better.

Inferiority complex, depression, anxiety, panic attacks cannot be shut by putting a poster of ‘Good vibes only’ on your face. It will make you burst like an atom bomb.

Body Positivity

Body positivity is a real good campaign but imagine, a person who is sitting and chomping on food the entire day goes around singing slogans of body positivity and shouting at anyone who advices him to live a healthier lifestyle. That is how these posts effect us.
Accept yourself the way you are. True. Indeed. But improve yourself if there is truly a necessity. Be a better version of yourself. In the above example about the food chomper, the concept of ‘Body Is A Temple’ is a rather suitable advice.

Good vibes and Empathy

Good vibes is sympathy. When someone is sharing their story and if you put motivational speech in their head, they will either feel worse or leave you with your dearest vibes. Empathy is rather assuring them that its okay to feel the way they feel. Empathy is helping them to accept their situation,emotions,thoughts and present condition while sharing your own story to them. Everyone has a story. It’s the negative which makes the positive

Good Vibes and Happiness are same, right?

You mean, is mental peace and happiness same? Yes, they are. Being at peace with yourself takes years. It is a very difficult process. We are not saints. Once you are at peace with yourself, you will feel content. Self contention.
Happiness is not smiling and going here and there to tell everyone that ‘ Hey, I am positive. Feel my Vibes’. Happiness is enjoyment. It can be in public or private. Loud or quiet. A party or a book. A diamond or just a cup of tea. It depends. Happiness is based on your perspective. When you are content with yourself, you do elude positive vibes. You do not even need to wear a ‘Good Vibes Only’ t-shirt to communicate it to others.
Good vibes are not wrong. They are never wrong. But it is not achieved by hiding your pains, ignoring them or just imprisoning them behind your teeth while you put a big smile on your face

What it means when you find yourself detaching from society?

Do you constantly find yourself cutting off from people without any reason? The feeling that you don’t belong? A major reason for such thoughts is that you find it difficult to blend in with your friends and family. While such mindset is not something permanent, it can develop from a constant state of neglect and lack of affection.

It is not necessary that such state of mind arises in only those who are generally closed off by nature. There is a larger percentage of so-called ‘extroverts’ who also suffer with the same complexion.

While this situation generally arises from a change in friend circle, or after losing a loved one, breakup, or a change in surroundings. Some other reasons like depression, heavy medicines, illness or other social factors can also be an imminent variable.

Some people can also call it a ‘Retreat’, a means to detach from society in order to better focus on their upcoming projects, a major people comprising this class will consist of authors, artists, and such other people in need of peace and tranquility.

The case is not always same for teenagers and young adults. Retreating from society in an abrupt manner is major teller of mental illness, depression, as it is generally termed. While it is not uncurable, a major support is required from family and loved ones in most cases. Emotional support goes a long way in providing support and a feeling of togetherness.



This does not mean that a person who appears to be detached from the general colorful society is weak. That would be a gross understatement. Such people are generally in need of a closure with whatever is it that they have suffering with. No other person can help solve this condition other than the person who suffers from it. All others can-do is provide an understanding gesture and emotional support.

The best ways to deal with such a swing of emotion could be to try to talk to someone and share your thoughts. Other than that, going out for a walk or eating your favorite dish will help make you feel better! The one thing that is imperative through the whole process is that you will emerge Stronger. A better version of your own self. With a better view of your dreams and desires. The only quality required is to have faith and be kind to yourself.

Think of your future self 5 or 10 years from now and how thankful they would be to you that in spite of all the hardships thrown your way, you held on, that is all that is required.

Just hold on!

Written by: Ananya Kaushal

How To Manage Emotions

In my previous to previous article on thoughts and how it stimulates emotions I had put forward my view that no emotion exists without a reason. Its there because we think of a situation, a person or something in a particular way which kick starts our emotions accordingly.

I am a teenager and I suffer from unexplainable emotions sometimes. Thanks to the person who gave me the most brightest and the most practical solution to this issue. He is none other than Vex King.

Unlike thoughts, emotions CANNOT be controlled but are to understood. It is only after a thorough understanding of your feelings or emotions that you can conclude the root cause(the thoughts) which created it.

For example: Have you ever felt inferiority complex? The feeling which makes your confidence and belief shiver and which makes your mind the supreme critic of yourself.

How do you at all stop that kind of feeling? Its so common nowadays.

 

• The most important step to take before understanding why you feel the way you feel is to accept that you feel something negative crawling in you. Most of the people nowadays ignore their emotions by working and spending their time somehow. But that never ends the feelings. It just subjugates it and once the person is all by themselves before bed or even for a minute, those emotions swallow down his peace.

They say you cannot run from a truth and emotions are a truth. You cannot run from it. To fight it,you have to face it.

•Question It. (Asking such questions is not just helping you understand tour emotions better but helps you get a closer insight about your thought process, assumptions, perspectives)

Why do you feel emotions of anxiousness and panic? Why do you feel jealous and insecure in someone else’s presence? Why are you questioning your worth?

Because, you THINK and FEEL you are not enough. Somewhere you are so lost looking for validation and praises that even the minute criticism to receive makes your heart stop.

Because you feel what the other person possesses is much better than what you have as they get praised for it and your mind continuously reminds you how foolish you are for not being like them.

Its okay to feel this way. Half of the population of our race feels the similar nowadays.

Because our mind has no achievement to hold on to which it can spoil with ego(not an achievement which our pride can utilize). On further questioning you will find the answer. Just like when you have ego you can’t see anyone else but you, similarly when it breaks you see everyone else but you.  So, its not them who seems too good to be true, its your thoughts and emotions which cloud your awareness from knowing your own capabilities.

Its not our fault. We are so accustomed to feel empty and disposable after our ego is broken, we do not know who we are.

But if you choose to remain this way, it is your fault.

•Are they worth your energy?analyse & question the answers!After questioning and finding the answers to your emotions and understanding the reasons behind their presence, question the validity of the answers. Question the thoughts which made you feel in a particular way about the situation. Why did you think in that way?

Some questions for the given example situation of inferiority complex are as follows:

Can you be the person who, according to you, is better than you? (a rather negative perspective of someone being better than you)

Can you live your life being someone else? Pleasing everyone but you? Living like a puppet?

To which feature of them are you comparing yourself with? Do you know enough about that feature of yours? Have you ever tested it?

The list can go on… which, after a certain time will question your thoughts and changes it with positivity. Self introspection does wonders

•Realization:  This is the final step wherein the complete understanding of the emotions set in. Not only we become aware of the emotions but we have understood it by this stage and now its time to do the needful. With an understanding of your emotional state, now you can actually ‘move on’ in your life with a rather better understanding of yourself.

Emotions make us human. You can never be devoid of it but however, understanding your emotions cuts off the negative and self detoriating emotions and replaces them with calmness and a sense of freedom from the chaos.

 

 

 

 

 

What Is Happiness?

Happiness is an electrifying and elusive state. Philosophers, theologians, psychologists, and even economists have long sought to define it. And since the 1990s, a whole branch of psychology—positive psychology—has been dedicated to pinning it down. More than simply positive mood, happiness is a state of well-being that encompasses living a good life, one with a sense of meaning and deep contentment.

Feeling joyful has its health perks as well. A growing body of research also suggests that happiness can improve your physical health; feelings of positivity and fulfillment seem to benefit cardiovascular health, the immune system, inflammation levels, and blood pressure, among other things. Happiness has even been linked to a longer lifespan as well as a higher quality of life and well-being.

Attaining happiness is a global pursuit. Researchers find that people from every corner of the world rate happiness more important than other desirable personal outcomes, such as obtaining wealth, acquiring material goods, and getting into heaven.

How to Be Happy

Happiness is not the result of bouncing from one joy to the next; researchers find that achieving happiness typically involves times of considerable discomfort. Genetic makeup, life circumstances, achievements, marital status, social relationships, even your neighbors—all influence how happy you are. Or can be. So do individual ways of thinking and expressing feelings. Research shows that much of happiness is under personal control.

Regularly indulging in small pleasures, getting absorbed in challenging activities, setting and meeting goals, maintaining close social ties, and finding purpose beyond oneself all increase life satisfaction. It isn’t happiness per se that promotes well-being, it’s the actual pursuit that’s key.

Signs of a Happy Person

A couple celebrating.

Happy people live with purpose. They find joy in lasting relationships, working toward their goals, and living according to their values. The happy person is not enamored with material goods or luxury vacations. This person is fine with the simple pleasures of life—petting a dog, sitting under a tree, enjoying a cup of tea. Here are a few of the outward signs that someone is content.

  • Is open to learning new things
  • Is high in humility and patience
  • Smiles and laughs readily
  • Goes with the flow
  • Practices compassion
  • Is often grateful
  • Exercises self-care
  • Enjoys healthy relationships
  • Is happy for other people
  • Gives and receives without torment
  • Lives with meaning and purpose
  • Does not feel entitled and has fewer expectations
  • Is not spiteful or insulting
  • Does not hold grudges
  • Does not register small annoyances
  • Does not angst over yesterday and tomorrow
  • Does not play games
  • Is not a martyr or victim
  • Is not stingy with their happiness

Myths of Happiness

Misperceptions abound when it comes to what we think will make us happy. People often believe that happiness will be achieved once they reach a certain milestone, such as finding the perfect partner or landing a particular salary.

Humans, however, are excellent at adapting to new circumstances, which means that people will habituate to their new relationship or wealth, return to a baseline level of happiness, and seek out the next milestone. Fortunately, the same principle applies to setbacks—we are resilient and will most likely find happiness again.

Regarding finances specifically, research shows that the sweet spot for yearly income is between $60,000 and $95,000 a year, not a million-dollar salary. Earnings above $95,000 do not equate to increased well-being; a person earning $150,000 a year will not necessarily be as happy as a person earning a lot less.

The type of thoughts below exemplify these misconceptions about happiness:

  • “I’ll be happy when I’m rich and successful.”
  • “I’ll be happy when I’m married to the right person.”
  • “Landing my dream job will make me happy.”
  • “I can’t be happy when my relationship has fallen apart.”
  • “I will never recover from this diagnosis.”
  • “The best years of my life are over.”

Positive Psychology

Positive psychology is the branch of psychology that explores human flourishing. It asks how individuals can experience positive emotions, develop authentic relationships, find flow, achieve their goals, and build a meaningful life.

Propelled by University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin Seligman, the movement emerged from the desire for a fundamental shift in psychology—from revolving around disease and distress to providing the knowledge and skills to cultivate growth, meaning, and fulfillment.

Happiness Over the Lifespan

Every person has unique life experiences, and therefore unique experiences of happiness. That being said, when scientists examine the average trajectory of happiness over the lifespan, some patterns tend to emerge. Happiness and satisfaction begin relatively high, decrease from adolescence to midlife, and rise throughout older adulthood.

What makes someone happy in their 20s may not spark joy in their 80s, and joy in someone’s 80s may have seemed irrelevant in their 20s. It’s valuable for people to continue observing and revising what makes them happy at a given time to continue striving for fulfillment throughout their lifetime.

Happiness and Health

Health and happiness are completely intertwined. That’s not to say that people with illnesses can’t be happy, but that attending to one’s health is an important—and perhaps underappreciated—component of well-being.

Researchers have identified many links between health and happiness—including a longer lifespan—but it’s difficult to distinguish which factor causes the other. Making changes to diet, exercise, sleep, and more can help everyone feel more content.

Dance A Stress Buster

Dance wether zumba, hip-hop, Kathak, bhangra, garba, dandiya, shuffle, house, chicago or freestyle is a way to express our thoughts and feelings without the need of words or expression.

It’s an art that let’s your creativity being expressed through the medium of your hands, legs and body. It does not have any specific way to do it, it is unique to everyone’s own creativity. It is just expressing your heart out. It need not be in front of everyone to show-off your skills in dance, it is actually to free yourself and dance the way you want, maybe in a closed room in front of a camera of mirror.

The actually essence of dance is being what you are, doing what you like, just for yourself and nobody else. It is like a stress buster, which helps you to take all your worries, frustration, anger, happiness out and makes you feel a relaxed. And if you dance happily it even have positive effect on your body, helps you to stay fit. It helps to develop your personality.

If you are really want to dance you can join a dance club or group, which helps you to interact with new people, expand you world from just home to school, college or office. You find like minded people it motivates you to be more expressive in your life.

And ultimately I want to say, you want to join a club or not it’s your decision, it actually doesn’t matter, the thing matter is just ‘Dance Your Heart Out’ that’s it, no matter in club, stage or just in a room.

DANCE YOUR HEART OUT

Secrets to becoming wealthy from Famous Billionaires

Secrets revealed by famous billionaires being successful in this or that way is what we all want to achieve from Mark Zuckerberg to Elon Musk following their simple success principles is guaranteed to change your life.

Find your goal and formulate it correctly

Steve Jobs did not want to release a phone his goal is a phone that could function as a computer but was easy to use your goal should be specific. For Example, you like to bake cakes and you would like to do it more often and give some profit out of it I want to bake cakes for money is an incorrect way to formulate your goal the right goal would be to open a bakery where my cakes will be sold if you dream of a world tour it will be wrong to set a goal I want to travel the world it’s a wish not a goal the right formulation would be I want to earn twenty thousand dollars for my travels. 

Make a plan and follow it

Hypothetically if we explain the situation then it should be, How are you going to travel around the world what kind of Transportation are you going to use what will be your route when are you going to start planning short term and long term goals to help to identify weaknesses and major tasks that need to be focused on perhaps after drawing up the plan you will understand that your goal is not to earn twenty thousand dollars for a trip on a liner but to find like-minded people for hitchhiking around the world Elon Musk wants to colonize Mars having drawn up the plan he concluded that the main obstacle was the high cost of flying to the Red Planet now Elon is busy developing more economical space transport.

Don’t hold yourself back

You’ve probably heard about such a thing as emotional intelligence it is the ability not to suppress but to manage your emotions and display them where it’s appropriate also suppressed emotions are worse than physical well-being therefore do not be shy to show you true feelings and emotions at least for visiting doctors less often look at Oprah Winfrey for example that strong powerful woman always speaks up and shows how she truly feels about something that matters to her. 

Love what you do

Truly loving what you do and believing in its importance if you are not obsessed with your own business or the goal you are aiming at the path to success will be long and most likely endless if you’re not in love with your job it’s difficult to change your attitude towards it if you cannot quit trying to consider your current position as a tool to achieve your goal. For example, Once Mark Zuckerberg shared his favourite story that in 1962 John Kennedy visited the NASA Space Center in one of the offices he noticed the cleaner who was so engrossed in sweeping the floor that he did not even notice him, “Hi I’m John Kennedy what are you doing here” Kennedy addressed him then the janitor answered, “I’m working so that humanity could go to the moon Mr. president”.

Do what feels right to you

There will always be people giving you advice and offering you once-in-a-lifetime opportunities they might be indeed doing it trying to help you however taking the decision only out of fear that the opportunity will be lost is wrong let your personal beliefs and inspiration move you not fear only do what feels right to you and when it feels right to you follow Warren Buffett’s advice “you don’t have to swing at everything you can wait for your pitch”.

Spent money consciously

If you are obsessed with your goal then the refusal of a dress or any other impulse purchase will be an easy task for you. For Example, If you need to buy another dress go ahead but before you do it consider how much closer this dress will bring you to your goal Steve Jobs used to say spending a dollar wisely is more difficult than earning it that’s very wise weren’t you going to travel around the world maybe it’s better to buy sneakers in which it will be more comfortable to hitchhike or to take a foreign language course without which it will be difficult to organize a budget trip 

Use your time wisely

Time is a valuable resource and one should also approach it in a conscious way just like spending money Mark Zuckerberg is positive that you can’t succeed if you spend your energy on stupid and frivolous things so he is trying to cleanse his life from things that don’t have any sense choosing clothes is one of those things according to him no surprise we see him in the same great t-shirt every day we all have more significant time consumers than choosing clothes, For Example, the inability to say no to gossip social media the wish to do several tasks simultaneously and then stop halfway all these things consume the time that would be better invested in yourself just like other resources.

Set priorities

It is impossible to be successful in everything. For Example, Elon Musk believes in solar systems but understands that he doesn’t have enough strength for everything that’s why he dedicated himself to Tesla and SpaceX and the Solar City project is managed by other specialists the habit of prioritizing is useful not only in work but also in other aspects of life if you decided to spend an evening with your family do not get distracted by work and friends the desire to succeed in everything will not only lead to failure but will also consume your energy.

Say no to Stereotypes

Many of you have heard these things from other people that, “woman’s place is in the kitchen”, “real men don’t cry”, “we need children to have someone taking care of us when we are old” how often do you hear those stereotypes distort our perception of reality and also prevent us from having a good life achieving our goals and being happy it was the desire to be different from others that helped many billionaires become what they are today. Steve Jobs knew what he was talking about your time is limited that’s why you shouldn’t lose it by living other people’s lives do not fall into the trap of dogma do not let the noise of other people’s opinions beat your inner voice.

Live not only for yourself

For modern billionaires philanthropy is a spiritual priority many of them spend money to support the needy to develop art education and medicine Bill Gates and Warren Buffett started them The Giving Pledge campaign the idea of which is donating 50% of their income to charity there are more than 150 participants in this campaign including Mark Zuckerberg, George Lucas, Victor Pinchuk, and Vladimir Putin in giving someone your time attention and energy means investing in them prioritizing correctly is important children in orphanages or animals and shelters need your time.

The principles described above won’t make your billionaire overnight but success doesn’t always mean money it’s also about doing what you love and feeling happy.

MEDITATION – A GUIDE TO START

 

MEDITATION – GUIDE TO START

WHAT IS MEDITATION? THE REAL ACTION:

We are all reactors to nature i.e. Whenever we hear a sound or noise, we tend to hear it, see what it is, at first case we feel it. You may think what is the relation between the above and meditation. The intense ability to control us by imitating ourselves. When you see a gorgeous beautiful thing, our eyes seek attention to it and makes us to go glare at it, but it is dangerous behind; which eyes doesn’t realize. Mind instructs not to see, eyes obey, that is when control occurs.


ATTAINING WAYS:

There are a ‘n’ number of ways to do meditation based on one’s nature. But the common attribute is to hold the heart. The Heart is like a lake, each stone thrown on it raises waves and these waves doesn’t allow us realize the true nature of us. The Moon’s light falls on the river, as the river is with waves, we couldn’t see the reflection clearly. Likewise, many things affect us externally for a stationary time; escaping from the trap make us find who we are and understand what we are.

WHERE TO DO MEDITATION?

“Arrange a separate, isolated room if possible. Sleeping, eating and entering the room without bathing should be totally avoided; keep it orthodox” says Swami Vivekananda. But in an era as such, it goes hardly possible. As there is a will, there is a path; take any place which is distraction free especially from the digital world. Make sure that while starting meditation, anger, worry or any other emotion should be avoided. Mind and heart should be neutral.

THE FIRST THING TO DO:

First, leave heart to wander around in its own direction. Slowly monitor them, keenly observe as its the prior idea to start it. Without knowing what your soul is doing, controlling it is impossible. There may be vivid, evil thoughts too, which to encounter may be shocked in the beginning. As you continue with the process, you can feel its reducing potency. Things get into your control and you become only yours.The Mind gets unaffected by extrinsic factors. First believe that your body is rigid and with it you can realize all that is possible in the world.


Mini Movie Review|It touched the hearts but not the brains

A character played by Kirti Sanon personifies surrogacy through Mimi who was aspired to chase her dreams but couldn’t fulfill it.

Nothing like you are expecting!!

Cast: Kirti Sanon, Pakaj Tripathi, Sai Tamhankar, Supriya Pathak, Manoj Pahwa

Director: Laxman Utekar

In a patriarchal society like India, women have always been under the umbrella of the community. It’s barely seen in the families who support a girl’s dream and accept her to be a dancer.

The movie begins with the introduction of a foreign couple who came to India in the search of a surrogate. After long hours of work, they were finally able to find a girl with the help of the driver (a role played by Pankaj Tripathi) in a hotel. Mimi(the girl) was a dancer and getting influenced by its flexibility they decided to offer her 20 lakhs to be the surrogate. Being an ambitious 25-year old woman agrees to take the risk for the same of becoming a famous Bollywood actress. She decides to live at her friend’s house by convincing the parents saying, she is going to a film shoot. With the required procedure, Mimi becomes the surrogate, and for the first four months, she was having a good time with the pregnancy. However, after eight months tests revealed that the baby is suffering from some mental disorder. This news outraged the couple and they decided not to accept the baby after birth and told Mimi to abort. This became the turning point in her life. She sacrificed all her dreams by deciding to give birth to the child and raise him. Later, the couple returned to her after 2 years when they came to know that the baby was born healthy. Mimi refused to give the child back and in the end, they decided to adopt a girl.

Message

  • A girl is also born with a dream and her character is not decided with what she pursues but what she is.
  • The support of family is crucial in the darkest times. Mimi faced all the criticisms from society but her parents never let her alone and accepted her as she was.
  • Killing is not an option. It’s not the fault of a child to be born unhealthy.
  • One loyal friend is more important than a group of unloyal ones. The driver and the friend were with Mimi till the end, helping her go through all the difficulties with a smile.

Every coin has two sides. Even though the movie won the hearts of the audience, it faced several criticisms like not following the laws related to a sensitive topic of surrogacy, using the term casually, and disrespect towards the decision of abortions.

It played with the emotions well, yet failed to manipulate the thoughts.

Book review: A novel: It ends with us

BOOK:- It ends with us

AUTHOR:- Colleen Hoover

GENRES:- It is a standalone contemporary romance novel, fiction.

RELEASE DATE:- 2nd August, 2016.

ADAPTATIONS:- It ends with us (play) and It ends with us (movie).

MAIN CHARACTERS:- Lily Bloom ( female protagonist), Ryle Kincaid ( Lily’s husband, a surgeon) & Atlas Corrigan ( Lily’s teenage love interest, a homeless boy later owner of a restraunt). And many supporting characters like Lily’s father, her mother, ryle’s sister, his sister’s husband, ryle’s mother.

“ Fifteen seconds, That’s all it takes to completely change everything about a person. Fifteen seconds that we’ll never get back.”

– Line said by the protagonist Lily in the book.

SUMMARY:-

The book starts with introducing the female protagonist Lily Bloom. Lily is a twenty-three year old business graduate. She has grown up in an abusive family where her father was usually abusive towards her mother. At the age of fifteen she fell in love with Atlas, a eighteen year old homeless boy from her neighbourhood. She cares for Atlas. She loved him so much. But he left her promising to come to her when he will join military. She was all alone at this time but she didn’t loose hope. She left her past life and started her own flower business in Boston.

In Boston, she met Ryle, a neurosurgeon and soon fall in love with him. But he was not ready to be in a relationship and they parted their ways. After six months, Lily hired an employee named Allysa, who was Ryle’s sister. After many encounters Ryle finally realised that he can’t live without Lily so decided to marry her. Everything was perfect, the romance between Ryle and Lily was increasing day by day. One day Ryle decided to meet Lily and her mother, there she encounters Atlas, and was not able to control her feelings, which was not loves by Ryle for sure. Slowly he started to abuse her,Whenever he can. Lily always told herself that she was not like her mother and Ryle was not like her father.

She started to live with Ryle and she found a deep dark past of Ryle and was shocked. His behaviour towards Lily was being more and more abusive day by day until one day when he can’t control himself and almost raped her. She asked Atlas help in that situation and found that she was pregnant. She doesn’t know whether to love Ryle or hate him for his behaviour. After two months she witnessed a knock on her door and she was sacred to find that he was none other than Ryle. He told her that he just came to talk to her and he did so, but she wasn’t happy with it. She missed him. But also she cannot forget what he did to her. And the story continues how ryle’s sister and Lily’s mother help her, how she allowed Ryle to be with her in her pregnancy dates, how she told Ryle what she felt about him.

BOOK REVIEW:-

Overall the book is just beyond fabulous The characters, the narration and everything seems to be perfect. I personally loved the character of Lily and Atlas. Lily’s strong decision and ability to do justice to herself and her daughter was remarkable. The narration was so strong that you will personally think of yourself in the characters place.

Firstly while reading the book I thought it will be just an average but as soon the book started every single page hooked me to read more and more. Especially I loved the narration it was just awesome. The character of Lily was so very incredible. Atlas has great chemistry with Lily like after so long they had the same feelings for each other.

This is the must read book though sometimes the story didn’t bother me but it was such a great piece of writing that can’t be expressed in words. I hadn’t given the spoiler because it would be far better to read and enjoy it at the same time.